When People use Facebook to Spy; Dear Stalkers



Check the Motive
Check the Motive

Note: this post was originally published February 18th 2014 but due to a server malfunction it was lost in cyberspace along with about 25 comments from this post and 25 others from other posts! I am including some of the comments that I saved in email at the end of the post so please read through to the end.

*also: for those of you who don’t know, facebook has a feature that allows me to choose if I want to allow people to subscribe to my posts and status updates, and since I have a really big readership here and not everyone wants to publically follow the emerging from broken facebook  page, I allow people to follow the status updates on my personal page.

When People use Facebook to Spy; Dear Stalkers

I was surprised to see how popular my “dear stalkers” status update on my facebook page was.  I thought that the ‘back story’ might make for an interesting update here on the emerging from broken website.

When I first noticed that my mother’s husband was subscribing to my status updates on my personal facebook page, I was a little shocked. I couldn’t figure out why the hell he was openly following me when my mother (his wife) isn’t even interested in speaking to me. Why would they ‘follow me’ and subscribe to my personal facebook status updates?

The day before I noticed he was following me, I had confronted a cousin that I have not spoken to for YEARS for sharing a picture of my daughter on her page. I have not spoken to her for at least 12 years and I noticed that she had subscribed to my status updates on my personal page and for over 3 weeks she had been clicking the like button for everything I posted, but she had not sent me a friend request, messaged me or spoken directly to me.  I thought it was really odd.  But when I saw the share notification from facebook that she had shared a picture I posted of my youngest daughter getting her cast changed in the hospital, (my daughter had been in a car accident a couple of weeks earlier) I thought that was downright creepy!

So I went to her facebook page and asked her why she was sharing my pictures? She responded with “because your family does care about you”.  You know the old saying “they have a funny way of showing it?” well I worded it this way; “So you are sharing these for my family? You’ve been liking my status updates for weeks but you’ve never talked to me? No one in my family has even asked about any of my kids for years ~ is that what you call “caring?”  

(I don’t call it caring; I call it spying and information mongering.)

She didn’t answer the question but proceeded to tell me all the family news!??? (News such as who had surgery, and who died and how she doesn’t talk to most of ‘them’ because they are only interested in themselves. (Have you ever noticed how much these people are so willing to throw each other under the bus in order to convince you that they are on “your side”?) 

I stopped responding to her in that conversation on her status because suddenly the whole horrific dysfunctional family thing came rushing back and I remembered why I stopped talking to all but one cousin on my mother’s side of my extended family YEARS before I drew the boundaries with my mother.

The very next day I got the notification from facebook that my mother’s husband had subscribed to my status updates and was following me on my personal facebook page, (not my professional page which all of them are welcome to follow.) I felt ‘invaded’.  I felt like I was being spied on. My blog is public but my personal facebook page is a whole different thing when it comes to people that don’t actually care about me or my family. 

My first reaction to seeing his name in my notifications was fear. I am not sure why that was my first reaction, but I am guessing it is related to the default mode of the childhood fear of standing up to your ‘elders’ or perhaps ‘controllers’ is a better word for them. (Sometimes I think of them as my past ‘handlers’ since I was consistently regarded as less than an actual person and more of an object they ‘owned’.) When I was a kid, if I stood up to anyone I was threatened with the fear of being sent away, the fear of being hit, or the fear of not being loved, all of which are rejection.

I wondered if my Cousin Judy ~ the one who was posting my picture on her page, had contacted him. I wondered if I should respond to the notification that he was following me by posting a public status update asking him WHY? I wondered if his following me was a type of threat. I wondered if he actually knew that by pressing the follow button, he realized that I would be notified. I wondered if someone was pretending to be him in an attempt to frighten me or mess with me so I checked his profile and confirmed that it was his profile.

I wondered what they hell they were up to!

Perhaps I should have wondered what they are afraid of.

I already know that they have been reading my blog for years and I have never cared. I also know that they read my professional fb page and I don’t care about that either ~ my blog and the EFB facebook page are public and I write them under my real name with the full understanding that they are visible to anyone on the internet but there is something about these people who don’t give a crap about me, checking out the pictures of my life and of my kids on my personal facebook page that bugs me.

It bugs me because they want to KNOW about my life but they don’t want ME to know that they want to know. They want to have all the updates without actually caring about my family. It bugs me that they don’t ‘care’ about my family even though at the same time I am relieved that they don’t care. It doesn’t hurt so much anymore but it still gets under my skin a little. They want to pretend that they care without the ACTION of care. I know that in this day and age it is easy for people to find out all kinds of stuff about another person and see pictures and all that, and maybe if the story they tell about me was true it would be easier, but the story they tell isn’t the actual truth.

It bugs me that they read my work and they stalk me on facebook but they have never wanted to work anything out with me. They have never shown any interest in hearing me but they want to know what I am saying and it is by the statements their actions make that they have lost the privilege of knowing the news about my children and our lives.  They have made it very clear that they don’t care, that they don’t LOVE. They want to have their selfish fantasy which is that I closed the door on them and have deprived them of their grandchildren ~ BUT that isn’t how it happened and it isn’t the truth about how our relationship ended. The truth is that I told my mother what was bothering me and asked to be treated with mutual respect and she never spoke to me again.  (the rest of that story is all within the pages of this website. Please feel free to read as much of it as you like.) 

After I thought about the option of blocking them on facebook I had other fears flash through my mind such as “what if by blocking them I communicate that I am afraid of them or what if they think that I didn’t know all this time that they were spying on me and reading my blog? What if they get really mad?… These fears are just default mode / survival mode fears that come up sometimes because of having lived in that fear for so long. But today it only takes me minutes to overcome those fears and return to the truth. My life is mine today. Who cares if they get mad? Who cares what they think or why they think? It makes no difference to the truth. They can’t hurt me anymore because the truth set me free from all that.

As I was considering my options here, I realized that even though blocking doesn’t prevent them from making another account and following me again, it does help that I won’t see their names in my FB notifications anymore.  So I blocked them from my personal page.

So, here is the status update that I posted after I blocked both my cousin and my mother’s husband from being able to see my personal facebook page but suspected that one of them is already following again; Dear Stalkers ~ (this would be to my so called family that don’t actually speak to me but want to know everything I am saying and doing) ~ I am well aware that blocking you from my FB page does not prevent you from following my page under a fake name ~ but it does prevent me from being irritated by it!”

The status update was hugely popular! I am thinking about making it a regular feature. J My next “dear stalkers” article might be about the people who have contacted me to tell me all the lies that my family tells about me. Each of them has asked me not to reveal that they contacted me… I’m like “really??” I thought you said that you read my blog!  

Please share your thoughts about this subject and the two sided rules and expectations in dysfunctional family dynamics. And for those of you who can, please share this post on Social Media! There are millions of people out there looking for support and validation and this is a great place to find it!

P.S. My daughter made a full recovery ~ thank you for all the notes and get well wishes that were sent from all over the world!                                          

Exposing Truth; one snapshot at a time!

Darlene Ouimet

The Emerging from Broken bookThe Beginning of Hope for Emotional Healing” is ready for download! If you find that the subject matter I am writing about resonates with you, get this book today! This 197 page, downloadable, printable, live linked e-book will put you on the fast track to healing.  Get yours here through the upper right side bar or click this link~ Emerging from Broken The Beginning of Hope for Emotional Healing

Here are some of the comments that were posted by readers in the brief time the post was online; Please feel free to share your thoughts with any of these commenters as well!

Caden said; Exactly, they just want to suck up the information without really wanting to know or respect you or your voice; to impose themselves and their interpretation of your life on you without having to change anything about themselves or work on a relationship.  My “family” was the same way, eternally thinking they could just contact me as if nothing had ever happened.  They’d still do it if they could I’m sure. And I remember my mother violating my boundaries by spamming me with information about my estranged siblings lives and careers, etc. after I was no longer speaking with them.  It was so sick.  Personally, I don’t want to stalk them–for my personal safety I’d want to know if they moved in next door, but otherwise, I’m not interested in their lives, and I’m not “one of them.”  And there is no way I want to participate in their insane triangulations either, all the “I don’t really like that person either”–and it lasts until we get off the phone or until another event arises for a fake showing of relationship, or they decide to gang up on me with that other person instead.  All of that hypocritical fakeness makes me sick. I can imagine I would feel fear too if they suddenly tried to follow me on Facebook or hang around on my blog. I’ve had some creepy stalker requests from obviously fake facebook accounts in the past year since I confronted my family, but you know what?  If that is all they can do, try to trick me into becoming facebook friends, then they’re really quite pathetic and why should I fear them since that’s all they’ve got?  The old fears come back up, but really, today they’re nothing.  I believe in pre-emptively blocking estranged relatives and their minions for my own peace of mind. Thanks so much for sharing about this subject Darlene!”

Kris Healing said; “Thanks for the post! I have figured out that in my relationship with my mother that from her point of view, knowledge equals power. If she knows something that I don’t, or if she knows something about me, even something fairly mundane, then that equates to having control over me. This makes sense, as she has always been extremely controlling and manipulative in many ways. Even though I used to talk to her frequently, she would often not tell me important family information, including people moving, breaking up, getting married, health concerns, even deaths in the family or our community. I used to get very frustrated with her when this would happen and tell her so, and she would always have an excuse like she didn’t want to bother me, or it was so sad she didn’t know how to tell me, or she meant to but forgot because her life is so busy. I didn’t really believe her, but I didn’t understand why she was doing this. This bothered me a lot until I figured out that keeping information from me was just another way for her to feel like she had power and control over me – that she had something I didn’t, and something I wanted/needed, – so it fit right in with all of her other controlling and manipulative behaviour. Although she kept all kinds of things from me, she demanded that I tell her everything about myself and my life – my thoughts, my problems, my successes, my feelings, all of the details of everything in my life. I used to think it was wonderful that she cared so much, and and then I started noticing that she used that information against me. Often it would be something subtle, like digging for more information about a problem I was having, and then dramatizing it to the point that I would feel complete despair. I told myself that she was just worried because she loves me. Other times she would be very critical or judgemental of what I told her, yet continue to push for more details to critize or judge. Sometimes this would happen in later conversations, not right away, so I didn’t see the pattern. She also demanded to know every detail of my activities, down to the very smallest details. She wanted to know my plans in advance, and would be very angry if I did something like go out for lunch with a friend without telling her first. Note: I am in my late 30s. She always had a very good reason that made her look very loving and caring, like that she was worried about my safety on the icy roads, or just wanted to know where I was so she could think about me being there, but I started to see how those were really just excuses for wanting to know all of my activities, thoughts, feelings, etc. It was when she called one day and asked what I was doing and I answered, “Nothing” and she exploded in anger – “What do you mean, nothing? You’re never doing nothing! Are you sitting or standing? Are you breathing? Are you blinking? TELL ME WHAT YOU ARE DOING!” that I realized there was something wrong, and she was not just interested in my life. She was demanding to know every small detail of everything. Now, I am working towards recovery and can see these things where I couldn’t before. I have set up better boundaries for myself and don’t tell my mom everything, which makes her suffer terribly, she tells me. I’m sure my mom would stalk me on Facebook if she knew how to, just for the thrill that she gets from knowing my business! It would have nothing to do with caring about me. Thanks so much for your post!”

Kera said; Darlene, I smiled when I saw the title of your latest post.  I agree with you. These people who say they want to ‘be a part of your life’ – but don’t care enough about you to treat you with genuine love and respect – have sure got a funny way of showing they ‘care’. They get upset that they don’t get ‘the latest pictures’ or ‘regular updates and visits’ … but, that’s what happens when you do things like: try and manipulate my 3 year old boy into being a part of your triangulation (rather than just handling your issues like a mature adult). Then you don’t get access to my child, because I can’t trust you to respect their right to be a child. He is a person, not a thing you can use to get your way.  Thus – no contact. They try and send ‘well wishes’ & flower bouquets on my wedding anniversary – (though, its rather ironic, coming from individuals who tried to convince my husband that I am “a liar, a slanderer, who is manipulating’ him and that he “should not trust” me – words and insinuations that could plant seeds of distrust and wreck a marriage … But ya wanna wish me a happy anniversary?  … no thank you. I do not respond to the empty ‘well wishes’. (and I threw away the bouquet, btw) They keep ‘resurfacing’, but never to make things right. It feels more like its to feed their own egos. So that they may continue lying to themselves about their side of things (as though, then they can delusionally tell themselves: “I am ALWAYS SOOOOO nice to them, I even called to say “happy anniversary” … etc.  But she is just so cold and unloving that she doesn’t respond to my loving ways) I don’t respond to it, but … when you said: “it gets under my skin” that is right!  I am trying to find ways to ‘shake it off’ and move on with my day, when I get contacted by them like that. (I’m finding that it ‘ruins my week’ less … now I hope I can make it to the point that it doesn’t ruin my day.) I would love it, if you have the time in the future – for you to do an article on what to do when your FOO won’t LET you go NC … (i.e. driving slowly in front of your house, leaving manipulative voicemails, triangulating, … etc.)  I would LOVE to have some insight into how to cope with this. Thank you for your articles and brave telling of your experiences! Sincerely, KR

Larae saidI got a call from an Aunt I haven’t heard from in a long time supposedly to tell me about  one of my abusers having surgery. Anyway she acted like she totally understood how abusive these other relatives were and I answered a few of her questions about what had happened with them. After I hung up I totally felt like I had just been primed for information from her to take back to my abusers. Perhaps I am just still overly cautious but I just felt like I had been spied upon by the other abusive relatives through her. So hard to tell. I don’t want to make wrong accusations but don’t ever want to not trust my feelings again either.  The confusion about what is the truth and isn’t is hard for me to figure out sometimes. Am i just over reacting because of what happened to me or are some people really that manipulative. I have blocked all my abusers on Facebook so I could feel safer and talking to this relative brought back all my old fear and feelings of unsafety.  She complained about being around them but yet is too afraid to stand up to them which makes me uneasy about trusting her.  I just want to feel safe again and not worry about what any of them think or say.  Thank you Darlene for your always timely articles! Your writing has helped and still is to heal me from my abusive past”.

Amber saidThere’s something very cowardly about this stalking dynamic. The person  doing it wants to gather information about you but doesn’t want to face you. They don’t want to address the issues. This brought up an incident I almost forgot about.  My mother had gone no contact with her brother.  Somehow she found out that he had remarried, and through more information gathering learned that her new sister in law owned a small shop.  My mother brought me with her  to the shop and anonymously engaged her  unsuspecting sister in law in conversation.  I felt real creepy during this exchange and couldn’t wait to leave. It’s obvious that my mother wanted information on her brother and his new wife without having to deal with an responses from them.  Real creepy!”

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Follow my personal page on Facebook here.  ~ Darlene


84 response to "When People use Facebook to Spy; Dear Stalkers"

  1. By: Debbie Posted: 16th May

    Another day passes and reading the stories on here and experiences makes you realise your not the only one and its great that other people understand and are there to help you..its not great that we all had to suffer abuse at the hands of loved ones. The Fb problem will never end and you will always get people that spy or try and find out about you through deception. I have given a great friend of mine your website address she suffered horrific abuse by her mother and is badly scared..and like us all blamed herself..so I am hoping the site will open her eyes. All the people on here are inspirational in there own way and all survivors….no longer victims.

  2. By: joy Posted: 16th May

    Hi Darlene

    I believe something like this is is happening to me now. .I broke down and started trusting my niece as she acted like she was sympathetic to me.. turns out she is running back and forth to my mother who is one of my abusers who I try to stay away with.. I feel so so used. I trust people too easily and then find out they are being used by the mother to hurt me.. It’s hard for me to unfriend people as I know how much it hurts to be unfriended or blocked.. I have this happening to me. .and its challenging .. I want to be loved somehow by foo but its not going to happen . .I am seeing this now.. they are merely watching my texts and posts and using people to gain my trust only to hurt me..

    I miss the good stuff here on EFB… Thanks for posting this Darlene.



    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 16th May

      Hi Joy
      It is really devastating to find out that someone you trust is using you to pass info but I took a little comfort in realizing that this was a reflection on THEM and not on me! That doesn’t lesson the pain of it much but it is validating.
      Once my eyes were opened it was a huge system of dysfunction that I began to comprehend ~ the details became more clear to me and I also realized that it was okay if I didn’t ‘trust’ and some people deserve to be blocked.
      Hugs, Darlene

  3. By: Debbie Posted: 15th May

    I just found out about your site from an advert on Facebook and after just reading a few of the stories and comments on I feel great. You dont realise just how many other people have suffered some kind of abuse from family and partners. Not being able to say was the worst part knowing you wouldnt be believed or indeed u were to blame in some way…ironic when your only a child. I did once tell someone in the medical profession and they said ..these things happen which lead me too believe it was indeed my fault or worse normal…anyway just wanted to say a big thank you and will continue to read and watch for more updates and stories..and its brilliant that you are making a film. Society needs to change its whole outlook on abuse etc and stop stiffing it.

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 15th May

      Hi Debbie
      Welcome to EFB
      Because of the way that we have been groomed to be silent, silence is the most common thing! It was when I started speaking in mental health seminars and EVERYONE related to me and reacted to what I was saying almost in shock, that I realized this whole thing was really common! Glad you are here,
      hugs, Darlene

  4. By: Marie Posted: 11th May

    congrats with the movie Darlene i will be very interested to see this, inspirational 🙂 xxx

  5. By: Raven Posted: 8th May

    Argh, way to go, I meant

  6. By: Raven Posted: 8th May

    Congratulations Darlene. I’m so proud of you and finally, a voice that’s gonna be heard in an even broader context. Eay to go girl, you have worked so hard. This is just awesome. 🙂

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 9th May

      Thanks Raven,
      I thought the official announcement would be sooner but stay tuned everyone! It’s coming! (with links to the movie site etc)
      I am excited!
      hugs, Darlene

  7. By: L Posted: 30th April

    Congrats Darlene! Very well-deserved!

  8. By: Light Posted: 29th April

    Many, many congratulations to you Darlene on your appearance in the upcoming film The Secret of the Keys!! I would imagine that feels so validating!! Enjoy every minute and soak it all in. YOU are an expert, and YOU have helped thousands of people, and YOU will help thousands more…and most importantly YOU have helped yourself break free.

    ((Big hug)) and a squeal from Light

  9. By: Karen R Posted: 29th April

    Oops I hit post too soon. Congratulations on the film! Great news!!

  10. By: Karen R Posted: 29th April

    Wow could I identify with what Kris Healing said:
    My mother controlled me when I moved away by controlling access to important family info.
    Like ” your Grandmother died” But… you had just moved to FL and had a lot on your mind and
    I didnt think you should be voming back up here??
    What? What? so you didnt tell me for 6 weeks. I could even send flowers.
    I wonder what she told all the family.
    Oh I am too emotional and might do something crazy … like flying back up to NH.
    I see now after this post what Ive never seen. Why. Control.
    She controlled me by keeping info from me. Just more proof that NC is a good choice for me. Hugs. Karen

  11. By: Alice Posted: 29th April

    Oh yeah, I blocked my mother and my aunt on Linkedin. Why my retired mother with all of one contact in her network would even be on a professional networking site beats me. My aunt being there was legitimate but her “networking” of me on there wasn’t. We have nothing to do with each other professionally.

    I took it as a way for both of them, but especially my mother, to be able to say to other people that she knew what I was doing in life, that she was in some way still involved. Or at least it allowed her to “keep up appearances” without actually talking to me. Which I think a lot of people do on social networks.

    I guess it’s possible that she may also have been doing so with a benevolent eye but when we (in the past) talked about my professional choices, she wasn’t very supportive at all. Before I could block them both (because the block function is pretty recent), I was definitely less active on Linkedin because I knew she could see what I was doing and saying on there. And at one point I feared my aunt would intervene in some awful way in my network or on that site too. Paranoid? Maybe. Maybe not.

    It pisses me off quite some because it’s a “professional” site and I sometimes think if I made better/more use of it I might improve my networking and promotional activities and hence my bottom line. But I ask myself every time “How much is my peace of mind worth?” and Linkedin didn’t make the cut.

  12. By: Lora Posted: 29th April

    I appreciate this one because it reminds me how these people really operate. They don’t have the balls to heal the relationship but they have the nerve to get other people to join them in their victim mentality. I guess it’s easier to blame the child than take some ownership of how their behaviour is creating the original wound.

    In my opinion, untreated wounded people are very dangerous because they fail to see how their wounds affect the well being of others and how it also contributes to infecting their own wounds even more. I thought people were evil before, but now I see they are just afraid of facing their own truth.

    It’s why all these support groups are created and yet they still choose to live in their pain and blame others for their problems. This bugs me becaues I’ve had to work my ass off to be a well person and they can too but they rather be a pain in the ass than help themselves. I have no respect for these people anymore, at one time I felt sorry for them, but not anymore since I’ve done my own work.

    Thank you for sharing!

  13. By: Jamie Posted: 29th April

    I have my mother blocked on facebook. I’m not “friends” with my brother or his wife. But I still have extended family on my friends list in the restricted catagory. I still feel guilty deleting them. I want to give them a chance to have a relationship with me, though it seems that that is not going to happen. I guess I’m afraid that they will think of me as the enemy. I feel that my problems are with my original family, though I understand that those problems came from somewhere and the whole family is affected to one degree or another. Stil, it is triggering when, on an impulse, I go and look at their pictures. There is inevitably holiday pics that include my original family. It almost always bothers me, tho this last time, I think I did pretty good at detaching. Is it silly for me to give them about a year? I think it’s a fair rule to have, anyone I haven’t spoken to in a year, I remove from my list. I’m being patient, but the truth is, I want to remove them now. I want to not care what they think. I already removed and blocked my aunt who is very close with my mother. Anyway, I guess my point is that I feel like I’m the stalker. I know a lot of those people just don’t want to get involved in the drama, but the fact of the matter is that I don’t really matter to them. I only ever mattered in the context that I was HER daughter. Didn’t ever really matter who I was as an individual. And there is some complicity in some of the family members. You know what, I think I will remove those people.

  14. By: Marie Posted: 29th April

    yes I have blocked all of my ex family and the reason i blocked them was because seeing their names popping up just triggered me and i would feel so much anger rising that it was not worth it. Then I had very strange friend requests all of a sudden?? My fb page has only a few friends on it as i am not into gathering fake people in my life!! I think you are amazing for challenging them like that Darlene , i so love the way you say it as it is , you have lost the fear that abusers instill to keep you quiet and that is such an empowering place to be. You never cease to give me ‘wow’ moments with how you challenge the status quo, so much admiration and love for you xxxx

  15. By: FinallyFree Posted: 27th April

    Darlene, Wow! That is amazingly wonderful and thrilling and I am so happy for you!!! Congratulations!

  16. By: Karla Reeves-KY Posted: 26th April

    Dear Darlene,
    way to go!!!! you deserve it!!!

  17. By: Alaina Posted: 26th April

    Congrats, Darlene!! I’m so glad your work is going to reach more and more people and that you are being recognized like this! You deserve it (and much more!)…. The more I understand and the more I realize the truth I’ve been deprived of all my life (and would continue to be deprived of, if not for you showing me what I didn’t know/didn’t see), the more I feel like there’s this mass conspiracy to keep people from knowing the truth you speak of, and not just within individual families, but on a much larger scale within society. I know that sounds paranoid but when you break it down, it’s essentially true… Especially because at core your message is actually so simple (equal value, mutual respect), and as radical and revolutionary as it kind of feels to me, has in essence been around for centuries, just not applied quite like this, broken down and disseminated the way you do here for all of us… so I’m so glad your voice is reaching a wider and wider audience. The world is brighter with you in it. It is a joy and a privilege to have a space here in the comments section with you and everyone on EFB (well, not always a “joy” so much, but you know what I mean, in the grand scheme of things, a joy to know you, to be empowered, to become whole again… nothing can beat that!). I wish you continued success!

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 28th April

      Thanks Alice, Karla and FinallyFree
      Alice, Yes, I am hoping that I can get my message into an easily consumable ‘nutshell’. 🙂
      Thank you all for your encouragement!

      Your paragraph is really profound; that is the exact conclusion that I came to as well when the ‘fog’ lifted and I looked around. I felt like the woman who came out of a coma in the middle of a world war.
      I also feel like my message isn’t “mine” or “the original message” I just package it differently. 🙂 I feel blessed to have the gift of expressing the way that I can now. Equal value and mutual respect has been preached and taught for thousands of years… but the only way it can be applied is if people are willing to lay their power and the lust for power over others ~ down.
      I am both nervous and excited for this opportunity!
      Thanks and hugs,

  18. By: Alice Posted: 26th April

    Congratulations Darlene!
    I’m also stoked that the “personal development industry” will be getting a much-needed injection of truth:)

  19. By: Yvonne Posted: 25th April

    Hi Darlene,

    I am so very happy for you. Congratulations! You deserve it and others will begin to understand the victims’ healings. It feels so good to be understood and supported by all here. I have received more help through this site than all of my past efforts with traditional “therapy”—which was for the birds!
    Thanks for being you! You’re awesome!

    Blessed Be,

    Yvonne 🙂

  20. By: Dave Posted: 25th April

    Hi Darlene,

    Wow! A film? That is just incredible, wonderful news!

    You have such an amazing gift for understanding and helping people, I am thrilled that you shared the news here.

    I am excited to know that more people will have the chance to find out about you and this blog and be helped on their healing journeys as you have already done for so many people here.

    I can only imagine how excited you must be, and wish you all the best with this experience as you richly deserve.

    Go Darlene!



  21. By: Ali Posted: 25th April

    Hi Darlene, that is fantastic, you really deserve the recognition for all the awesome help you’ve provided so many people with your blog.

  22. By: Amber Posted: 25th April

    Darlene, congratulations!! I am so happy for you, and I know it is very well deserved. Enjoy every minute of it! And once again, thank you for all you do. You have changed many lives for the better, mine definitely being one of them.
    🙂 🙂 🙂

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 26th April

      Hi Yvonne, Dave, Ali and Amber!!
      Thank you so much for your acknowledgement! I am pretty excited. Later this week I am going to publish a post with all the details including links to the movie site.
      Hugs! Darlene

  23. By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 25th April

    I want to share something with my readers before it goes public ~ My message is about to be taken to a whole new level. Writer/Producer Robin Jay, an award-winning filmmaker, has just signed me to be a featured expert in her newest film, ‘The Secrets of the Keys.’ The film will star icons of the personal development industry including Brian Tracy, Michael Beckwith, Dannion Brinkley, John Assaraf, Gloria Loring, and will feature special guest don Miguel Ruiz, author of ‘The Four Agreements. I am beyond excited to have been recognized in this way! More news soon… I just signed the contracts yesterday and I am still getting used to the idea!
    Hugs, Darlene

  24. By: Hello Posted: 24th April

    I use the blocking setting on my facebook for my NM and all people who associate with her including photos etc. It’s a pretty short list of the people that associate with hera anyway because we have a small family and she has very few close friends anyway. It’s easy to do. I also make sure if I post random comments about stuff on the internet that my user id is not my name. I also make sure any photos of me or anyone else with a tag have to be approved by me on my timeline.

  25. By: Karla Reeves-KY Posted: 23rd April

    Dear Darlene,
    I am so glad you posted this ,so many times I’ve wondered if I was the one going nuts like the rest of my family -about family stalking me . its good to see I am not the only one dealing with this . So post lots of cat pictures, and more flower pictures wondering if they are enjoying my pictures ,yup they even take some of my pictures (jerks) they love and thrive off my post . thank you Darlene for inspiring me to write my books. they have really helped me heal .reading all the other family toxic story’s of toxic pain family loves to keep you in makes me so sad to see so many people living in toxic abuse they wont heal they choose not to heal .I cant live that in abuse and its a different world to living in healing .thank you again Darlene and all of the people on this page that share their story’s of abuse ,its so good to be able to just speak the truth .even if I am now the out cast or trouble-maker . all you have to do is start speaking the truth about abuse see how many turn their backs on you .we all dare to heal ! Karla Reeves(FB)Karla Mangold Reeves(fb)I choose to have my new voice of speaking out on abuse ,I will walk tall even if its alone with my so called family .god bless

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 25th April

      Karla KY Reeves!
      Wow! Love your comments and I can FEEL your healing and self love here! It is good to speak the truth, it is amazing!
      Good for you Karla.
      hugs, Darlene

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