What “Freedom Rocks” Means to Me by Lauralee Hunter Rivet

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This week I am excited to introduce a new EFB community event called “Freedom ROCKS” Today Lauralee shares her story about what Freedom ROCKS means to her.  For more information about Freedom ROCKS and how you can participate see the Freedom ROCKS about page. The first global Freedom Rocks event will be held the weekend of May 12 and 13th.  Darlene Ouimet~ founder of Emerging from Broken

What “Freedom Rocks” Means to Me by Lauralee Hunter Rivet

Freedom Rocks
Freedom ROCKS ~ Lauralee

Nobody grows up wishing their life would be hell; we expect it to be normal. Well, mine wasn’t. Let’s just say I went to hell and back MANY times. My life was never normal; I grew up around drugs, alcohol and had an incestuous father who molested me. I remember wanting to die, and yes I did try to die but I guess God didn’t want me yet. I hated God at times for putting me in this situation, I blamed him. But that was wrong, because no matter how bad your life is and I can attest to this 100%, you CAN get out of it. There is ALWAYS a way. I never turned to drugs and alcohol, I got off the merry go round and so can you.

I thought of the throwing the rock idea one day after my brother died on October 30th, 2011. The “family” called me, hours later of course, to tell me about my brother. I met with my mother and sister first; after 10 years without any contact with them it was hard. I cried, went to the funeral home, paid for the funeral and then I was in “mother” role again like I had been all my young adult life. I took care of my mother, slept there with her, moved her to a new apartment and took care of her for a month. Then the drama started. My sister who likes to call me princess, I think she has a lot of jealousy towards me, (she is the eldest and I am the youngest one in my family) would talk about my mother and my mother would talk about her and I felt like I had just gone to a gun fight armed with a knife. I was back to the same crap as before. I couldn’t do it anymore; I was done with being talked about and used.

Finally I said to my “mother”; “if you knew I was dying would you come to my house this year for Christmas or would you go to my sister’s?”  She said “well obviously to yours” then I said “well call your daughter and tell her you’ll be at my place”

Her response was silence at first, then the big excuses. And that is when I knew I had spent 10 years, waiting, wanting, hoping and wishing my mother could just love me and validate certain things. Thank God this all happened; not my brother dying of course but the rest and it may sound crazy but it made me FINALLY realize that it`s just NEVER going to happen. I no longer waste time hoping and wishing for that. I don’t need negative toxic people in my life.

So I thought about how I could get rid of certain people in my life and out of my mind. The first thing that came to mind was the thought of tying a key to a rock and then throwing it in the river, lake, ocean or whatever body of water is close signifying closing the door and throwing away the key. Then I thought about pollution, so I dropped the key idea and am going to write on the rock (I may need the Berlin wall haha) the names of all the toxic people that I no longer want in my life and mind.

On the weekend of Freedom ROCKS (May 12th and 13th  2012) I am going to take my rock, say a little prayer, think about why I am doing this and then release the rock and all of my emotions towards those people and be free of them. Now this may sound crazy to some people but for me it’s a way of releasing that bond and getting rid of the negativity of certain people.

After I throw my freedom rock into the water, I going to stand back and take a deep breath and let myself feel the weight of the world fall off of my shoulders. I am not sure what type of emotions I will feel; I will keep all of you posted of course but I am sure that the emotions will be strong. I look forward to the day this happens. I am taking my daughters and husband with me to watch and experience this with me. This “throwing of the rock” is very important for me; some may say “well it`s not going to change anything in your life” but they are wrong, for in my mind, and the mind is pretty strong, it will change my life. All those toxic people will be at the bottom of the river for me, where they can never hurt me again.

As I said, I promise to keep you posted here on Emerging from Broken to let you know how it felt and went for me.

Throwing the “freedom rock’ can and will have a million different meanings for other people;  as long as it brings you comfort and releases some anger, resentment, bitterness or hurt then it did its job for you.

I wish all of you nothing but peace, happiness and love in your lives, and remember ~ YOU CAN.

A very wise lady here on Emerging from Broken gave me an AHA moment during one of the low points in my life; She told me a story about the crab in the bucket; The crab is trying to crawl out, to get up and away but the other crabs are just pulling it back down because they don’t want anyone to escape to the freedom they themselves would love to have. All the crabs clamoring to get some freedom, each one pulling the other one down as they try to rise higher themselves.

I realized that the crabs were my family. I managed with perseverance to get myself out of that bucket and run as fast as my little legs would take me. I am the little crab that could, the little crab that did and the little crab that would. Thank you once again for that visualization Darlene, you are the best.

Lauralee Hunter Rivet

As always, please feel free to leave your comments for Lauralee or about what Freedom ROCKS could mean to you.  For more information about Freedom ROCKS and how you can participate see the Freedom ROCKS “about page” here. Stay tuned for more posts and info in the next week or so ~ Darlene

Related Posts “My Mother doesn’t love me and the Process of Grieving”

The greatest Adventrue is Healing

 

118 response to "What “Freedom Rocks” Means to Me by Lauralee Hunter Rivet"

  1. By: Lauralee Posted: 29th November 2013

    Hello Beryl,
    Welcome to the group, you will find a lot of strength here as you read along. I am at the stage in my life where I am finally happy and at peace. I lost my whole family, now even my children have turned their backs and see my family but not me. It took some time as it really hurt, but now, I am a much happier person and I love my new life. I miss my grandbabies like crazy, and know I will never see them again until we are all in heaven, but it is what it is. The trust is gone, the betrayal, the lies, I will not live like that anymore. I am the black sheep of the family, always have been but I would rather be the black sheep that be the white sheep stuck in the same place as 1970. It’s nice to know that you are happy with your life, and I hope it continues. You don’t need people who are negative and try and control you and don’t give a rats behind what you think in your life. Good luck, much peace and love, Lauralee xo

  2. By: Beryl Posted: 28th November 2013

    Thank you for validating my feelings and freeing me from my past and the lies. When I told my family I have known about the lies for years,they were in shock. Why did it take me so long for everything to click. I was too busy bringing up children and working. As an empty nester,I am glad I know the truth and don,t have to wonder why I was treated differently. It was all about money and greed and finally getting me out of the equation by lying. How can families do that, when someone is in dire need, you know there is help from an Aunt available and your brothers tell you and your four children,don,t ask for help. You can go live in the street! When they use my Aunt,s money for their homes,business and vacations.. Luckily it all came to a head. I got stronger. I have a few working years left and getting back on my feet. They have been exposed and it hurts but I love their children but don,t mind if I don,t see my bros and wives,since they were mean,said nasty things about me to others, and want me out the way. But I am free,they have the burden. My kids know what happened and they told me how selfish they were. I have a nice life now and very blessed. My never ending guilt has finally left me. I forgive but won,t forget. Never thought I could be on my own,I like it now!! I was always scared before. Thank you for the awakening

  3. By: sandra Posted: 12th September 2013

    I love the story about the crabs 🙂
    And the idea about throwing out rocks.

    I am just so upset because I was way smarter when I was a kid. At least that’s what I like to think. I made a decision and I wanted to stick with it.
    At 18 I ran away. I knew my family did not love, that they hurt me, that they were worng and I did not try to understand anything. I did not need to.
    BUT even though I felt I should have, I did not include my sister in that bunch. Which turned out to be the biggest mistake. How do you call that horse than no one is betting on and all of a sudden that horse actually wins? Well that was my sister, I thought she was the least toxic out of the bunch, and when you family is small it is hard to get rid of all of them at the same time.
    But my sister was the force pulling me back in, pushing me to get back in contact with my mom. Even though she knew how it was. She was the golden. And than we are back to our childhood.
    I just love when they talk about me using the third person in my presense, as if I am not there. If I did what I felt like, no matter how extreme, I would not have been in this situation now.
    Or would I?

    What do you guys think?
    My way of coping at that time was to just sweep everything under the carpet, lock my memory and throw out the key.
    Would the memories hunt me? Would someone find the key at some point anyways?
    How does it work?
    I beat myself up with all the should haves…
    But than again I did not realize that despite not being in touch with them I kept playing the same role in relationships for instance.

  4. By: Aileyess Posted: 7th January 2013

    I think I could use The Rock of Gibraltar and dump it! I’ll just have to settle for a brick instead. 🙂 And why wait? I think I will do it when I take my next beach trip.

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 8th January 2013

      Hi Aileyess
      A brick is a great idea too! Welcome to emerging from broken
      Darlene

  5. By: Lauralee Posted: 29th May 2012

    Hello Everyone,

    Just finsished watching a Dr. Wayne Dyer show, he’s a motivational speaker, and here is one of the things he said. People were given 5 pieces of cardboard and were asked to write down 5 chapters of their lives. Here is what one lady wrote: CHAPTER 1: I walked down a street, there is a big hole, I fall in, I’m stuck and it takes hours to get out, who put this here, how can they be so dumb? CHAPTER 2: I walk down the street, there is a big hole and I fall in, here I am again, stuck in this dark hole, I can’t belive it’s still here, it takes forever to get out. CHAPTER 3: I walk down the street, there is a big hole, I fall in again, it’s my fault! I knew this hole was here, I get out right away. CHAPTER 4: I walk down the street, there is a big hole, I see it and walk around it. CHAPTER 5: I WALK DOWN A NEW STREET!
    I just love this, hope you all enjoy it as well, and I hope it gets ya thinking, wishing you all a wonderful rest of your day,
    Peace, love, hugs, happiness and Freedom
    Lauralee xoxo

  6. By: Lauralee Posted: 26th May 2012

    Sylvia I am so happy for you! I can’t take the credit, you thought of that one on your own, one of the things I did, and taped them everywhere. I even gave myself a permission to cry all day if I wanted to. It felt great. I put my heart in a place where nobody can hurt it anymore, and since I have done that, I’ve healed. We can’t choose the behaviour of others, however, we can choose our reactions to their behaviour. When someone says something that I don’t appreciate, I say “Thanks, but no thanks” It really screws them up. haha I choose peace over arguing, It’s amazing that we actually have the choice. Sure I could have stayed and argued with my family until I was blue in the face, however, I choose peace in my life, and they certainly are not peace. You may stumble along your journey, but you’ll get back up, and a journey of healing begins with a single step, you are already there, just look at what you did today. I am very proud of you for it takes much courage to allow ourselves the permission to feel and do certain things. It’s like talking to that little child in you, telling her that it’s ok and she doesn’t have to be scared anymore. Much success on your journey Sylvia!
    Peace, hugs, luv, happiness and freedom,
    Lauralee xoxo

  7. By: sylvia Posted: 26th May 2012

    Thank you Lauralee, I have just written out a list of affirmations, all the things I am giving myself permission to do. It feels so good! This is all thanks to you! I will be back very soon, big hugs and blessings for you, Much love from Sylvia xxx

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