If someone told you that they beat you because they loved you; would you believe it? What if you were a child? What if you didn’t ever remember a time when there were no beatings, and each time it happened you were told that you were loved, that the brutality was necessary and it was because you were so loved? The beatings were for your own good. Do you think that over time this beating would somehow get mixed into your definition of love?
And if you were sexually abused, and the abuser whispered words of love, all the while taking the innocence away from you and hurting you but telling you that it would not hurt for long, and that it was all part of love, that you will like it and it is good for you. If this happened over and over again until it was just part of life, do you think that this kind of abuse would become mixed up with the definition of love?
What if your accomplishments were never good enough? What if you were told that they were never good enough until you thought the belief actually came from yourself? And what if you never thought about where the belief came from and you labeled yourself a perfectionist.
And if you were told that you were bad or if you were told that you were always in the way? Would that influence your definition of love?
What about your view of yourself? Do you think that you would have a clear picture of who you are and what your worth is? Do you think that your self esteem would have had a chance to grow and blossom? If you were listening to an abuse story from someone else, would it be more important than your own story? Would you be more horrified by their story then you are of your own? Do you compare one type of abuse with another type of abuse, defining one as worse then another one?
The definition of a word can have a different meaning to each person according to their own personal experience with the word and the way that they were taught to understand the word. I had been taught the wrong definition of what is “good for me”. When someone says “I love you” what do they mean? What is the definition of “best”? When the definition of good, love, respect or even the definition of abuse has skewed dimensions, we can have a big problem. We begin to struggle with truth because we have been taught false is true.
Mental health can be recovered at any age; these were many of the thoughts that I discovered which greatly assisted me on the road to healing and emerging from broken. It is my hope that some of them assist you too.
I would love to receive your comments on how this post makes you feel.
With all good wishes,