I thought it might be fun to publish some of my early writing once in a while here on Emerging from Broken. I found some things I had written in 2007 when I was still coming out of the fog on many things. In this post (written to myself) I was trying to convince myself that the process was worth it but I disguised that uncertainty with a lovely comparison to gardening.
I wrote this in September of 2007.
“Gardening isn’t just about planting and harvesting. It is about peace, serenity and reality. I can truly be in a deep state of relaxation and feel at one with myself and my surroundings when I am on my knees in the garden with my hands plunged deeply into the soft earth.
Gardening is like life. I had to get the soil all ready to plant tiny seeds of freedom and wholeness. It is a lot of work to make ready fertile ground. I can’t just throw the seeds in any old way on any old type of soil and expect to yield a bountiful result.
I like to plant in nice neat rows, however they don’t always come up in nice straight paths but rather crooked lines sometimes there are even empty spaces as though there were a missed connection. Should I fix it, or should I leave some blanks?
And there are weeds. Oh man, don’t we hate the weeds? We certainly don’t plant them, so where do they come from? How do their seeds get in there? Year after year the same weeds too. Most of the work in my garden is really about tending to the weeds, picking them out so that all the nutrition in the soil and from the rain can be used for the healthy life sustaining food sources I am growing.
Growing and building, that is what this process is all about.
Weeding out the lies that are rooted so deeply that they sprout up all the time. I have to stay on top of them ~ I have to keep weeding and tending my garden.
If I let my garden get out of hand, then the weeds very quickly shoot up and choke out the good plants causing me to lose the balance I have worked so hard to achieve. It can take mere weeks to find myself overwhelmed by the battle with weeds.
The weeds represent the false belief system that my life had been ruled by. I had to get those (weeds) lies out. Some of them were stubborn, like thistles with deep roots that we all connected to each other… all throughout the garden.
A little weeding each day is necessary in order to maintain the beauty and tranquility that I feel when I am in my garden. This is after all “My Life”.
I didn’t always realize how valuable my own life is. I especially didn’t realize how valuable I am. I didn’t know how to weed my garden or how to nurture or maintain growth. I had never been taught. I didn’t have a teacher. The harvest had not been very pretty. Not much nutrition or nurturing in my garden in the past.
So I had to start over. I had to take in the big machines, the real farm equipment and turn that soil upside down, tilling and churning over and over, working out the roots of the weeds (which were like lies) until I had beautiful dark soft earth, almost the way it was in the beginning before anything grew there. Then I planted truth, and when those old lies pop up, I gently and tenderly separate them from the tiny new plants of truth, I pluck them out and throw them away. A little bit each day. A little bit of tending, maintaining and watering goes a long way towards a beautiful life.
There is freedom and wholeness in truth. And when the truth is tended and nurtured, the truth grows stronger and bigger eventually taking over the space that was previously occupied by the lies. The truth will eventually grow strong enough that the lies will not come back to rob my life of the serenity, freedom and wholeness that I have cultivated and grown.
Freedom grows here.”
Darlene Ouimet Sept.2007
Please share your thoughts. I look forward to hearing from you.
Related Posts ~ Who am I ? Will I like me? See also words in bold throuhout this post.