validation

Dysfunctional Family and Holidays ~ When You Feel like the Bad Guy

Posted: December 30, 2012 Under: Family By Darlene Ouimet 145 Comments

I watched a show the other day where the in-laws were totally against the daughter-in-law and the whole family (the husbands parents and grown siblings) went on the show to publically gain validation that they were ‘right’ to be against her even though her husband was totally FOR her. They were all insisting that he … Continue reading "Dysfunctional Family and Holidays ~ When You Feel like the Bad Guy"

The Fear of Good-bye if You Don’t Comply

Posted: June 20, 2012 Under: Survival By Darlene Ouimet 480 Comments

Today I was thinking about how many emails I get from people who sincerely want to find validation. Unfortunately most of them want validation from the people who invalidated them in the first place. I am always thinking about ways to communicate WHY hurt people seem to think that if the people who invalidated in … Continue reading "The Fear of Good-bye if You Don’t Comply"

I Avoided the Pain of Abuse by Altering the Truth

Posted: April 10, 2012 Under: Mother Daughter By Darlene Ouimet 96 Comments

growing up in a dysfunctional mother daughter relationship, the truth can be so hard to face that it needs to be altered just in order to cope. I changed the definition of "special" to suit the situation that I was in. I got validation from some sick and unhealthy situations my toxic mother placed me in...

Official Notice to Oppressors, Abusers and Perpetrators

Posted: January 10, 2012 Under: Freedom & Wholeness By Darlene Ouimet 106 Comments

When someone convinces you that you are "nothing" without them so they can take credit for the ideas and gifts that you bring to the table, that is psychological abuse. This happens often when the associate is a person with positional power, such a a therapist, dr. lawyer, priest or pastor or anyone who thinks that they have more value than you do.

To be Objectified is to be Dehumanized by Pam Witzemann

Posted: June 17, 2011 Under: Self Esteem By Darlene Ouimet 102 Comments

By twelve I was depressed and anxious. I began stealing my mother’s allergy medicine so that I could sleep. This was my first step towards drug abuse. My first memory of depression was at twelve. I remember sitting in my closet thinking about cutting my wrist as my parents were drunk and arguing in another room.

More on Mother Daughter Dysfunctional Relationship

Posted: January 07, 2011 Under: Mother Daughter By Darlene Ouimet 252 Comments

Mommy Please…. “If your progress in recovery is thwarted each time you see your family, if you revert to being a subservient or a fearful child, then you may need to stop seeing them for a while. Most importantly, you may need time to develop your own separate “self”, since it may be impossible … Continue reading "More on Mother Daughter Dysfunctional Relationship"

The Beginning of Emotional Recovery

Posted: November 03, 2010 Under: Depression By Darlene Ouimet 39 Comments

When I accomplished something I was told in so many ways that it didn’t matter, it was no big deal, or the credit was given to someone else. This was a big part of my continuing depressions; that I was just so “nothing” and that I didn’t count. I was used to it. Although in … Continue reading "The Beginning of Emotional Recovery"

Sexual Abuse, Bulimia and Eating Disorders

Posted: September 19, 2010 Under: Body Issues and E.D. By Darlene Ouimet 58 Comments

Darlene at 21 There was another specific outcome to being sexually assaulted when I was barely fourteen that had a very big impact on my belief system and was part of the results I realized as I took the memory apart. As I have already written about, my mother taught me that my importance and … Continue reading "Sexual Abuse, Bulimia and Eating Disorders"

Emerging from Broken

Tag: validation