dysfunctional relationship

How I believed it was UP TO ME to Fix Problems in Relationships

Posted: January 21, 2013 Under: Freedom & Wholeness By Darlene Ouimet 143 Comments

I used to have a pattern (like a default way of responding) where I would give a lot more attention to the people who ‘fought me’ and told me I was wrong, compared to the way that I responded to people who agreed with me and validated my thoughts. I noticed that I actually tried … Continue reading "How I believed it was UP TO ME to Fix Problems in Relationships"

Repairing Self-Trust ~ Breaking the Pattern of Letting Myself Down

Posted: January 11, 2013 Under: Body Issues and E.D. By Darlene Ouimet 102 Comments

Due to the grooming process inflicted on me as a child, my identity was in my body and in my physical appearance. I believed that my body and looks were my only value. When I went through the healing process, I realized that belief was a huge false belief and was one of the biggest root problems in my belief system. Believing that ....

Punishment as a Control Tactic in Abusive Family Systems

Posted: January 04, 2013 Under: Family By Darlene Ouimet 90 Comments

Happy New Year! Welcome to a new year Emerging from Broken! I talk about the belief system and how it is developed and how we are brainwashed into believing that the problem is us in the first place. There are specific abuse tactics that are used to cement this brainwashing which cause the ‘fear … Continue reading "Punishment as a Control Tactic in Abusive Family Systems"

Dysfunctional Family and Holidays ~ When You Feel like the Bad Guy

Posted: December 30, 2012 Under: Family By Darlene Ouimet 145 Comments

I watched a show the other day where the in-laws were totally against the daughter-in-law and the whole family (the husbands parents and grown siblings) went on the show to publically gain validation that they were ‘right’ to be against her even though her husband was totally FOR her. They were all insisting that he … Continue reading "Dysfunctional Family and Holidays ~ When You Feel like the Bad Guy"

Giving and Receiving in a Healthy Relationship

Posted: December 11, 2012 Under: Self Esteem By Darlene Ouimet 84 Comments

“It is only when we feel deprived that we resent giving to others. Self-care does not mean you stop caring about others; it just means you start caring more about you. Start thinking about yourself more and others less. Since you have a choice between taking care of someone else, or giving to yourself, try … Continue reading "Giving and Receiving in a Healthy Relationship"

The Definition of Respect ~ Do Disrespectful People deserve to be Respected?

Posted: November 07, 2012 Under: Survival By Darlene Ouimet 138 Comments

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. find out what it means to YOU……… A lot of my emotional healing grew out of realizing the truth about some of the concepts that I had been taught wrong. The people who were in a position of power in my life taught me a lot of false definitions of words like love, … Continue reading "The Definition of Respect ~ Do Disrespectful People deserve to be Respected?"

The Fear of Good-bye if You Don’t Comply

Posted: June 20, 2012 Under: Survival By Darlene Ouimet 480 Comments

Today I was thinking about how many emails I get from people who sincerely want to find validation. Unfortunately most of them want validation from the people who invalidated them in the first place. I am always thinking about ways to communicate WHY hurt people seem to think that if the people who invalidated in … Continue reading "The Fear of Good-bye if You Don’t Comply"

Equal Value through the Grid of Truth ~ Then and Now

Posted: March 18, 2012 Under: Freedom & Wholeness By Darlene Ouimet 44 Comments

I do not live by the false definition of love; the false definition of love exists to serve the unhealthy (and unloving) motives of others. When I was taught that love was compliance and obedience I thought my best contribution to others was my compliance and obedience and that I was to serve them no matter what motive they had..

Manipulative and Controlling People and some Control Tactics

Posted: December 17, 2011 Under: Self Esteem By Darlene Ouimet 71 Comments

controlling and manipulative people picked on me about who I was, the way I dressed and the friends I picked in an effort to make sure that I never felt good enough about myself to realize how pathetic they themselves were.

EMOTIONAL HEALING DOES NOT DEPEND ON….

Posted: December 08, 2011 Under: Therapy By Darlene Ouimet 132 Comments

Emtional healing from abuse and dysfunctional relationships does not depend on therapy, money, people, circumstances, things, agreement from others, outcomes, circumstances or even the law.