My Mother Doesn’t Love Me and the Process of Grieving

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grieving mothers loveWhen I finally drew my boundaries and make it clear to my mother that I was no longer going to accept her devaluing treatment of me, she walked away. She never called again. Oh she played her usual manipulative tricks including telling me that I could contact her “when I have thought about it” but I quickly told her that I it wasn’t up to me anymore. It was now up to her to decide if she was going to have a real relationship with me based on love, mutual respect and equal value, OR if she was going to continue to abuse me. (An option  I would no longer tolerate)

She wanted to just put the whole thing behind us and “start over” I said no and that this time I wanted to deal with it. This time I wanted my say.

She said “Oh Darlene, we have always had our differences but we have always worked them out in the past” and I responded “No Mom, in the past I have always backed down and let you have your way”. 

Always her way. Always a one sided relationship. Always her side.

That was the last time I spoke to her. I left it with her and she refused to bend. She refused to meet me half way.  She turned me down. My mother abandoned our relationship.

When I realized that she wasn’t going to contact me again, it cut me to the core.  I was rejected all over again.  By walking away from me she was saying “you are not worth it Darlene. I can’t be bothered working on having a relationship with you”

And that hurts very deeply. That is a horrible thing to realize and accept.

Not being worth it, had always been my deepest fear; I felt as though she proved I was unworthy of her love by not trying to work on our relationship.  But in reality, her actions do not make a statement about me; they make a statement about her. 

I questioned myself a million times about whether or not I had made a mistake drawing that boundary. But the alternative was just too devaluing. It was at the root of all my depressions and low self-esteem. I wasn’t going to sacrifice myself to her anymore.

The truth is that what my mother actually proved is that she either does not actually love me, or that she is incapable of healthy loving and mutually respectful relationship. (I suspect that both are true.)

I stopped using my suspicion that she was incapable of loving me or herself as the excuse to let her hurt me. There are all these “teachings” out there that when we are an example of “love” we teach love. And the truth is that I was not “being an example of love” by letting her walk all over me.  In truth I was sending her the message that she WAS more important than me and that I would accept her nasty behaviour no matter what because she was the more deserving one in our relationship. Like a dog that always comes home to the master no matter how the master regards the dog.

I had lots of grieving to do. In some of the most painful times, I had an image in my minds eye of the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz screaming “I’m melting, I’m melting” because sometimes it felt as though the pain of my mother’s rejection would kill me. It felt like I was dying.  

Eventually I began to accept that this was the way it really was.  I had to reaffirm my decision that I didn’t want to live by her rules anymore. I spent months reminding myself what the alternative would be if I lifted my boundary, and reaffirming that I didn’t want to lift it because the alternative was too devaluing to me.

Although I longed for a loving relationship with my mother, I had never had one in the first place; I had no frame of reference for what I actually longed for.

Standing up for myself was empowering. It was like saying “HEY, I deserve better than what you offer” and my actions proved that I believed it.  I made giant strides in the following months towards self-esteem recovery and personal growth.

There is no good answer for the question of why my mother doesn’t love me. She just doesn’t. The truth hurts but it has also set me free. I don’t wait around anymore for approval and love from places where I will not get it. Her actions state that she will love me only if I do things the way she wants.  She will love me if I do our mother daughter relationship the way she wants.

Unconditional love towards my mother on my part no longer looks like me accepting her devaluing and abusive actions and regard towards me. Unconditionally loving my mother is only possible when I respect and love myself in the true definition of love. Relationship with my mother is not possible when the price that I pay includes sacrificing my human rights, individuality and self-esteem.

Today I am free of that false system and false definition of love! I love in truth and equality. I see myself as equally valuable to all others. My self esteem is strong and healing more all the time!

For years I missed the idea of having a loving mother. I don’t miss that idea anymore. I don’t miss what I never had either. Standing up to the dysfunctional and toxic mother daughter relationship stuff went a long way towards my process of emerging from broken.

Please share your thoughts about toxic dysfunctional mother daughter relationship stuff or any other toxic relationship stuff that this post brings up for you.

Exposing Truth; one snapshot at a time.

Darlene Ouimet

The Emerging from Broken book is ready for download! If you find that the subject matter I am writing about resonates with you, get this book today! This 197 page, downloadable, printable, live linked e-book will put you on the fast track to healing.  Get yours here through the upper right side bar or click this link~ Emerging from Broken The Beginning of Hope for Emotional Healing

A very hot topic post this week was  ~ Adult Children and the Skewed definition of Respect 

For Related posts see the words in bold highlighted blue

1,181 response to "My Mother Doesn’t Love Me and the Process of Grieving"

  1. By: Angela Li Posted: 3rd February

    I feel the exact same way. My parents were divorced when I was about 2 years old. I never really remembered it but at that time my mother was depressed. She completely abandoned her lively, kind self and put work as a pain reliever. She NEVER had ANY time for me, even at this age. She would work about 9 or 10 hours on purpose to ignore me. I was never really connected to my mother or my father. At age 13 I realized I didn’t really have any parents and was just living with a complete stranger that gave birth to me. It’s not like I hated her but I never felt like I belonged to her, like I wasn’t even her real child. She just fed me and gave mea room to live, days she would go not even talking to me. I really think that the divorce had a great impact on her behavior but I still think I am the reason why she changed so much. Even thought I have a step mom and a step dad I feel like a foster child with no place to go, no money, nothing. I really wished that my mother and my father were still who they were so I wouldn’t feel like this. She would laugh and talk but I was never any part of it. I still feel like I had never actually had ANY PARENTS. Thanks for writing this article and letting me express my feelings and thoughts. I hope you always have a great day!

  2. By: Sarah Posted: 22nd January

    Darlene.. I read and I wished that I could talk to you.. My mom officially abandoned me today… Exactly same situation. I drew the line and she gave up on me. I feel so hurt and I’m really sad.. I don’t know how to cope with this. I don’t think I really have anyone who would understand what it feels like to go through this so I dont want to share this with them either.. It’s really difficult. This situation and the feeling that I have right now. Hopefully you will still be active and give me some insight on this..

  3. By: Baily Posted: 17th January

    I have been in such pain for years over my mother.but this was the last straw I am now in the process grieving her.I had left 25 yrs ago move 2,000 miles away.Every time she was in my life there was pain .But this last time has hurt the most I am going to write her let her know my feeling of hurt and rejection she 84 but this has been so painful to me I have to do this for me. I drove 2,000 miles 3 times after her favorite child had a fight with her left her alone she cant drive write checks i just cant get into all this on here after all I DID FOR HER she made up with my sister and never called me again in 2 months I am so over all this i just lost my husband not even 3 yrs ago a wonderful happy health marriage. I was scared to be alone after he died . I did meet a nice man but he been very supportive of me but after I saw my dh passed the way he did of cancer I been very fearful, My whole family is dysfunctional SO I will be alone in time . But I want her to know how much she hurt me she sat at parties with my ex and he beat me for yrs was put out on an abuse charges and she sits a party with his very hurtful to me . i can go on and on but just to much to post .thank you for listening to me in advance

  4. By: Wilzie Posted: 10th May

    What a great post! I needed to hear this paragraph this morning…

    “I stopped using my suspicion that she was incapable of loving me or herself as the excuse to let her hurt me. There are all these “teachings” out there that when we are an example of “love” we teach love. And the truth is that I was not “being an example of love” by letting her walk all over me. In truth I was sending her the message that she WAS more important than me and that I would accept her nasty behaviour no matter what because she was the more deserving one in our relationship. Like a dog that always comes home to the master no matter how the master regards the dog.”

    Thank You!

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 11th May

      Hi Everyone
      I can’t keep up with all the comments anymore therefore I am closing comments on all posts over 150 days. This will be done automatically and I am sorry if the comments shut down in the middle of an active conversation.
      Please feel free to share anything you wish on the more current posts.
      Hugs, Darlene

  5. By: rltreasure Posted: 6th May

    I am wanting to share that I finished reading through reading Susan Forward’s book “Toxic Parents”. I can easily replace the pronoun parent to mother, father, sister, family etc. In any case it has been a great read that affirms a lot of things that I have not been able to put into words until now. Darlene’s website and other great materials are helping me everyday to understand and appreciate the wonderful person I am. Many Blessings to all in recovery from narcissistic and toxic family member’s abuse.

  6. By: S1988 Posted: 6th May

    In my view, the lesser of two evils is having a parent that blatantly hates you because at least they are being honest about their severe dislike of you. (Though it makes one wonder why couldn’t they just give up the child for adoption or why did they engage in creation of a child in the first place.)

    Not trying to trivialize others’ experiences, but I would rather be raised by a parent who truly hated me than be raised by one who said they loved me, but treated me in hurtful ways and passed it off as “for my own good”. That describes my mother. Even when I left her place a few months ago, she told me that she will always “love” me. I find it strange that she sees me as a naughty child at some times, and as a therapist/possession at other times. I think that she needs me to fill an empty void in her life, and confuses that with love. She always bragged about how she was loved by her punitive grandmother, but someone who was truly loved don’t desperately seek it out from their offspring. Well, she has her older children, the “golden” ones, to fill that void. I guess that makes me the “bad” one in their eyes because I see myself as an individual, not as my mother’s savior and extension of the family.

  7. By: DXS Posted: 6th May

    Amber, you talked of “proving” to your mom that you cared (kind of, sort of…).

    I wouldn’t know how to “prove” that I cared. Anything I would do would be “faked.” I learned as a child that “showing love” was something one “faked.”

    I remember as a child I once told my mom that the only “love” I felt was for my pets. This was a cry for help! But my mom didn’t recognize this, and instead got all upset about “how do you think that makes me feel….” etc. It’s honestly how I felt! I only felt love to and from my pets. I didn’t feel it from my parents. After getting scolded and punished for saying such a dastardly thing, I learned that “love” was obviously something people “Faked.” I have always been unable to connect to my emotions. I mentioned it in another post, it’s called “Alexythymia.”

    I have been spending a lot of time alone, on purpose. I have been trying to pay attention to my body, what I react to, what makes me cry, what I feel, put a name to it. This is hard for me.

  8. By: DXS Posted: 6th May

    Oh jeesh, I had better clarify myself. Neither is worse than the other, just both different forms. I guess I was wondering…. in Autumn’s case, it was obvious. I guess I was wondering if I would rather my mom be obvious about what she feels or remain “covert” as she is. If she were obvious, at least I might know what I was dealing with….. But maybe Autumn would prove me wrong and say “not necessarily…..”

  9. By: DXS Posted: 6th May

    Wow, Autumn. How sad, very sad. I’m sorry for you.

    Your mom was outwardly hostile to you. Sometimes I wonder which is worse, to be OBVIOUS or to be COVERT like my mom is. My mom tries to give the “appearance” that all is perfect and cozy, but her actions don’t match her words. Real crazy making.

  10. By: Amber Posted: 6th May

    Autumn I felt so sad reading your story because of the way you were treated and also because I see how hard you tried to do nice things for your mother only to have her continue her nastiness. I agree that it is hard to understand how a mother could reject her own child. My mother did not like girls so no matter what I did, I never measured up to my brothers in her eyes. That really hurt. It took a long time for me to understand that none of her nasty behavior or rejection was my fault. There was not something wrong with me like I always had believed, so no wonder all my attempts to ” fix” myself to be lovable to her didn’t work. Being female was my biggest crime and of course I was not responsible for the second X gene!
    You sound like a genuinely nice person who really tried to show your mother you cared, and you certainly do not deserve the treatment you’ve gotten. I hope you know it is not your fault; it’s something within her that makes her behave this way, and you do not deserve this treatment. You are valuable whether she sees it or not. Sending you lots of hugs, Amber.

  11. By: Autumn Posted: 6th May

    You know, I have been fighting to have a relationship with my mother since she waltzed back into our lives after 30 years of being absent. She worked at having a relationship with my sister and her son, and I worked at having a relationship with her. I have been aware for a long time that she wanted to abort me, and was stopped by my father. She has never stopped not wanting me. I recently ended the relationship and have been second guessing myself. She started treating my children the same way she treats my sister and I – showing abject favoritism to my daughter and disregarding my son, and I drew the line there. She blamed me, as she blamed my father for her absence from our lives, for all of the discord in our relationship. So I ended it, and because she is my mother, I have been feeling guilty. She tried to get my mother in law to sneak my children out of my house to go see her. At my sister’s recent wedding, she gave me dirty looks every time she saw me – which was awkward since I was the matron of honor and was very present during the entire process- and refused to speak to me at all. It was hurtful. I still sent her some flowers for mothers day, probably for the wrong reason, but I have said nothing and done nothing that I regret, whereas she has been downright nasty. After reading this, I felt like I almost broke apart inside, because it’s hard to imagine that there are other women like this in the world, that just can’t be a mother to a particular child, or any child. After having children of my own, it’s even harder for me to understand her. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s been very eye opening for me today.

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 6th May

      Hi Autumn
      Yikes! Thank you for sharing your story!
      You are certainly not alone. This website is found by thousands every day who are searching for info on dysfunctional mother daughter relationship. I am really glad you are here,
      Hugs, Darlene

  12. By: Inna Posted: 22nd April

    Thank you so much for writing this. I kept searching for someone who would understand what I’m going through, for someone who is further along in this jeourney because I still wonder if it was correct for me to raise the boundary or if I was horrible for it. This is to the ‘T’ everything that has happened to me and what I came to realize I need to do to protect my heart against a person who I have so longed to be loved by, who was never capable of love and instead broke me daily without even flinching.
    I have just had a baby girl (now 2yo) and my heart explodes with love and joy over my little girl. I also can no longer deny or reject the fact that my mother never wanted me and never even liked me. I was always just a burden. Also my father sexually abused me for 13 years and she knew it, but says she has no memory of it. Meaning that’s how unimportant my life and existence was. Now all I feel when I think of her is lots of hurt, rejection, resentment, and guilt. The only reason I have tried all these years to keep a (totally dysfunctional) relationship with her is because of guilt of not having one for her sake.
    Anyway, I send love and hugs your way for being a Godsend for me tonight. I have piece now, and can go to sleep. 🙂

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 22nd April

      Hi Amber!
      Thanks for your comments to Joe and about my book!
      hugs, Darlene

      Hi Inna
      There are thousands of us here that really do understand! You are not alone.
      Welcome to Emerging from Broken!
      I am so glad that you found a little peace here!
      hugs, Darlene

  13. By: Amber Posted: 19th April

    Please excuse the spellcheck mess ups in my post number1127. I don’t think any of them changed my basic message though.

  14. By: Amber Posted: 19th April

    Joe, it IS very hard to accept having a mother that doesn’t love you. In my case, my mother had a thing against girls, and no matter what I did in all the years she didn’t love me and only looked at me in terms of what service I could be to her.
    I know how much all of this hurts. I’ve felt the pain over and over again. I’ve been reading Darlene’s site for close to two years now and it is very helpful. Some if the things I’ve come to never stand from her wisdom and going through the process is that her not loving me is not my fault and that there us nothing wrong with me. These are just two of the false beliefs I came to reverse; there are many others too. I mention those two because once I finally truly accepted those things a large burden was lifted from me and I felt so much better.
    Keep reading here Joe and going through the process. Darlene’s ebook which is based on her articles is very helpful too. The process takes time but it is worth it. You are worth it. Just because our mothers didn’t see our value it doesn’t mean that we don’t have value. Best of luck on your healing journey.

  15. By: Joe Posted: 19th April

    Is there anything tougher than accepting that your mother doesn’t love you ?

    Well I would say maybe the only thing worse is pretending that she does love you and going through the mental hell that continually trying to ‘earn’ this love entails.

    Unfortunately any mother that does not try(indeed fight) to have a relationship with their child is no mother at all, as a human race we just need to accept that some people should never be mothers unfortunately anyone is allowed to be a mother and this will inevitably resulted in children with mothers who simply don’t love them because they don’t fulfil their needs.

    As a child in this situation you simply must accept she has an illness, there is something in her DNA that simply isn’t in most mothers, she doesn’t have that natural mothering instinct, sure this makes her child’s life immeasurably more difficult but its something that must be accepted.

    Real mothers don’t emotionally abandon their children, they can’t, they intrinsically care too much for them for this to occur.

    The positive out of all of this ? Children of abandonment who can recognize the emotional abandonment are destined to not repeat the same mistakes of their childhood.

    I now feel empowered to remove all negative narcissistic influences in my life and the reward has been a really happy, settled life.

    Its not fair, its not right but sometimes life just throws you some strange cards, I got a mother that never loved me, its not fair, but it just is, take the positives you can from this and move on, don’t let it control your life.

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 22nd April

      Hi Joe
      I think that this healing process is the hardest thing I have ever done, and also the most worthwhile thing I have ever done. I don’t think that this is about DNA ~ I think that this is about the cycle of abuse. I am really glad to hear that you have a happy settled life now! That is great!
      hugs, Darlene

    • By: Sarah Posted: 13th August

      Thank you Joe
      Your story helps me realise I’m not on my own x

  16. By: Anne Posted: 4th April

    Hi Amanda,

    it sounds like your situation is very difficult. Please remember that this is not your fault. You deserve to be treated respectfully at all times. Since you mentioned that you would like to get help, have you looked into finding support services in your area? One way to go about this is to contact the telephone crisis line in your city/region. They offer telephone support anonymously and should be able to provide you with the contact details of support services that may be a good fit for you. For example, they may be able to tell you about a women’s group you can access or a free or low fee counselling program. You can find the telephone number for the crisis line by searching for it in google. Just search for the place you live + telephone crisis line. Something should pop up. It may also be nice for you to contact them just to talk about how you have been feeling. Sometimes it really helps to get it all out.

    You sound like a strong and resourceful young woman, Amanda. You deserve to be happy. Don’t give up! You have a right to get support for yourself.

  17. By: marie Posted: 31st March

    my situation to a T.. ive always looked past my moms actions and words because she was my mom, she was the only one there for me. come to find out she only there for me when i let her talk down to me, and when i asked to be treated with the same respect as she expects for herself she had no use for her human punching bad anymore.

  18. By: Amanda Posted: 30th March

    I appreciate all your comments but someone please tell me where I start in getting help … Please

  19. By: Hobie Posted: 27th March

    I found it really hard to admit to myself that my mother just really doesn’t love me. Love doesn’t treat someone the way she treated me. As time passed her behavior was more indifferent to me than hostile like it was when I was young.

    Well meaning people want to tell me that she does love me as much as she can and that there’s hope for our relationship, but I cringe at those suggestions. I don’t want to accept what meager tolerance she has for me and call it love. Believing that she loved me is what set me up to be abused by too many others in my life, from salespeople, acquaintances, friends, boyfriends, a husband and children.

    I finally accepted that she doesn’t love me and stopped hoping that she would. She had told me that no one would ever even like me, because she knew what I was really like. Anyone who seemed to like me, she said that they were only being polite because nice people don’t say when they don’t like you. The light bulb finally went on in the past year and I realized that she was lying about other people to justify her own contempt for me.

    Then I realized that people DID like me and there were enough people capable of being compassionate and supportive that I didn’t NEED her to love me anymore. I had enough love. I believe that God loves me as much as I need and people around me allow his love to come through them. I believe that’s how I love others too, by allowing God’s love to come through me. It makes the most sense for me that way. It may not be the way that others see it, and that’s OK.

    It just helped a lot to stop longing for love to come through someone who had none to give me, and I could do that once I felt love from others. And finally, I realized I can love myself.

    Hugs,
    Hobie

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 30th March

      Hi Hobie
      This is an excellent share/post. I really enjoyed reading it today especially this part: Hobie wrote “I don’t want to accept what meager tolerance she has for me and call it love. Believing that she loved me is what set me up to be abused by too many others in my life, from salespeople, acquaintances, friends, boyfriends, a husband and children.”
      Yes, that is freedom!
      hugs, Darlene

  20. By: rltreasure Posted: 27th March

    Hi Amanda,
    I’m 53 years old and have the same battle you have everyday of my life. I needed my mom to love but at the end of the day, she doesn’t want to change or ever take ownership over her own sick behavior. You are a very lovable person who deserves better. I have come to realize that my mother’s poor treatment of me is not a reflection of my character as much as it is her’s! Find ways to help yourself now! Get a qualified counselor or support group that will help you heal and move on. And most of all start loving the wonderful person you are buried underneath the pain your mother has heaped on you.

  21. By: Amanda Posted: 27th March

    Hi my name is Amanda I am 21 years old and need help advice on what to to to fix my relationship with my mum … As all the other comments I feel she us incapable of loving me … I live with here and have literally no one else to turn to to get away from it all I have just got a full time Job so can’t afford to fail … I told my mum before after an incident that happened that if anything like it happens again will she be there for me and she just said we will see … Its like she is stubborn of love and it kills me I mean I know I’m 21 but mothers should love until death and forever … I can’t eat around her I constant feel angry around her because all I want is a hug from here and for her to talk to me …. Latley I’ve been feeling to hurt myself to get her to listen to my feelings .. I don’t want to not love my children when I have them its not nice makes me feel emotional abused and not wanted lonley and the one person i want most (mum) can’t show affection and love please help me fix this who do I go to I have tried talking to her she turns it on what she wants from me what I do wrong and never listens to me …. Please help me

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 27th March

      Hi Amanda
      Welcome to EFB ~ I am really glad you are here; from what you have shared, you have found the right website. There is a ton of information here to help you find your own asnwers. This post (although usually active) is pretty old but there is always a current conversation going on (see the home page) as well.
      Thank you for sharing.
      Hugs, Darlene

  22. By: Avery Posted: 24th March

    Hello
    I really felt compelled to write something on this board. I can’t wholeheartedly say my relationship with my mother is totally abusive or dysfunctional. I know she loves me, and has always tried her best to show that to me, in her own ways. I think there were many times, happy memories from my childhood, that she succeeded as a loving, caring, protective parent. That being said, our relationship has always been riddled with problems, almost as far back as I can remember. My father left our family when I was five, so I quickly became a parentified child to my little brother, and to my mother. I don’t think my mother ever minded that, maybe she even expected it because I was the oldest daughter/child. This has left me with a lot of issues- insecurity, never feeling like anyone had my back, always feeling responsible for other people’s happiness (what about mine? half the time I can’t even recognize it). She sent me mixed messages as a child, sometimes allowing me to perceive myself and let others perceive me as a sex object/or too adult like, sometimes seeming jealous of me or tit-for-tat behavior like she saw me on her level. Once “joking” with me that she liked me better drunk (that was a strong message), called me a bitch, asking me for money, telling me we don’t have money for heat, electric, relationship things about my father (so again, another weird dynamic/ boundary skew where I am mothering her). Well, fast forward thirty years and I have my own daughter now. I’ve thought and continue to think about how not to f*$@ her up, and I sincerely hope I don’t. It’s funny because I kind of feel like this is when the problems finally seemed really hurtful to me. The first few weeks home, she was helpful to me- even stayed with me like a week straight and tried her best. But, over the course of this last year, she has been retracting from our relationship more and more. She only lives about 20 minutes away, but acts like it’s another state. There is just a humongous pile of excuses- her physical problems, the baby is getting too heavy, I don’t have my car* (she shares with my brother, but this is an especially sore point because he has another working car– this is a whole other piece of the dysfunction, they are totally enmeshed), it’s going to snow/rain later this week (not today), I have to make sure the dog has water, I can’t get up that early…I’ve confronted her so many times, and none of it sinks in, nothing changes. The final straw for me has been I had a miscarriage- literally on Christmas- and she was very emotionally (and physically) unavailable to me. I probably can count the number of times I’ve seen her since then on one hand since that happened 3 months ago, and it is her doing. I just feel so hurt. I don’t understand why she is so hellbent on disappointing me all the time. I gave up calling her, and I don’t usually call her back. She never breaks through the denial to even acknowledge that we are having a relationship meltdown. I don;t really understand it, but I do get the message that taking care of herself and my brother is more important to her than maintaining a relationship with me and her granddaughter. I am trying now to just accept that this relationship will not be able to give me what I would like from it, in fact not much at all. But, still trying to keep up the shell of the relationship, at least so my daughter can have some kind of relationship with her. It’s very sad to me the whole thing. Trying to dissipate the anger and not turn it in, or waste my energy turning it on her, because I have learned that only hurts me in the end anyway, she is not going to change.

  23. By: Kerra Posted: 14th March

    Oh my! I found this website by asking Siri why my mom dosent love me. All is so well said! I feel like I could almost tell my story. I’ve never told it in full detail to anyone, including my husband with whom I’ve been married to for 17 years. There is so much truth here. For now though I’ll just say that I’m correcting the mistakes my mom made with me in my son. He has absolutely NO DOUBT that the is loved, wanted, needed and cared for in a way that I never was. Thank GOD for you! You’re a blessing.

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 16th March

      Hi Kerra
      Welcome to EFB! That’s pretty cool that even Siri recommends me! lol
      That is so awesome that you are not repeating history with you son! That is how the cycle gets broken!
      hugs, Darlene

  24. By: levy nicholas Posted: 7th March

    My girlfriend is going through the same but she still lives with her mother. I have been researching how to talk to her so that she stops with the abuse but i noticed if i do talk to her it might work and if it doesn’t she will physicaly abuse her even more. I dont know what to do now i am lost.

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 8th March

      Hi Levy
      Perhaps your girlfriend would read this website. Perhaps you might seek legal council as well? Physical abuse is against the law.
      hugs, Darlene

  25. By: jessica Posted: 4th March

    Wow, this is exactly how I feel, my mum never really cared about me, my whole life all I wanted was my mum to treat me how my friends mums treated them, but my mum just treated me like I was the biggest pain in her behind…when I was 19 she cheated on my dad and told the guy she cheated with all these horrible things about my siblings, my dad and myself. .she then chose to be with him for 3 years and turn her back on a relationship with my siblings and I…after that relationship ended she wanted a relationship with us so I tried but I was extremely hurt and wanted relationship but slowly work on something we never really had,With in months she had a new bf and was really pushy with me meeting him, I hardly had a realationship with her so I was not in any state to meet him yet..she took that as in I wanted nothing to do with him, that wasnt true I was just trying to get to know her again after three years..then I find out a week before her wedding she is getting married, my sister told me and that she was a bridesmaid. .when I approached her she lied to everyone saying that she had told me and I was being a drama queen…it hurt so much that she couldn’t invite me and then when she lied to everyone that hurt even more…she then basically cut ties because I wasnt acting the way she wanted…im 25 and struggle with this sometimes I cant let go or understand…I feel like the pain will never stop

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