Hearing Negative Self Talk?

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Combating Negative Self Talk
dangerous places in the mind

I became aware years ago of the negative self talk that went on in my head. I tried all sorts of ways to deal with it or combat it.  I heard all kinds of cute sayings and instructions such as “tell the committee to shut up, the meeting is over” and tell them to “stop renting space in my head”. I thought this was great advice and I didn’t realize that this was not a really effective solution to the problem of negative self talk.

Maybe I thought it made sense to ignore the voices because like many of us I grew up with my needs being ignored, so it was familiar and comfortable to ignore them myself. I don’t think I ever saw those nagging critical voices as expressing a need but maybe they were after all. Maybe I thought it made sense to ignore them because I didn’t have any other solutions about what to do about negative self talk.

I mentioned something in therapy once about this subject and my therapist asked me “whose voice is it?” I was kind of taken aback. I always assumed it was my voice. My voice telling me that I couldn’t do something I wanted to do, my voice demanding “who do you think you are” and my voice telling me that I am an imposter, and that everyone who ever liked me would eventually find out that I am not lovable, worthy or even productive. I am a phoney, depressed, “nobody” disguised as a happy and fun person.

So that night after therapy, I went home and got quiet and thought about those negative affirmations in my head and what the most common ones were. I looked at each common statement one at a time.  My therapist had instructed me to ask some questions to the statements or voices, and to ask “them” what else they had to tell me. What other judgements did “they” have related to the statements that “they” made.  At first I was pretty sure that the “voices” were  my own voice, but then after I asked a few clarifying questions, I realized I could actually begin to hear the sneering voices of my mother, my brother, my father, my teachers old boyfriends and even a few “friends”.

The reason I heard my own voice is because I had adopted those opinions as TRUE. When I began to see the whole picture I realized that I had taken over where the abusive and controlling people in my life had left off. I continued to feed negativity about myself to my own belief system. 

Once I started to listen to the “voices” and ask them questions, all sorts of other mysteries became clearer to me. I began to realize how when I moved out of the house when I was 17, that I was attracted to men who would also continue to affirm this negative belief system that I had about myself. I don’t know if I was attracted to them because I was comfortable always trying harder and that I truly believed that love was something I could “earn” and eventually deserve once I earned it, or because that type of devaluing person was so familiar to me, or if it was a combination of both. It was as though the negative beliefs I had about me, actually made me feel safer.

Try talking to those negative self thoughts instead of yelling at them to shut up. See what happens. This single teaching opened many doors to healing for me and led down many paths that I might never have traveled down, had I kept telling the committee to shut up and go home.

Please feel free to share your own thoughts and reactions to this concept.

Always seeking freedom!  

Darlene Ouimet

79 response to "Hearing Negative Self Talk?"

  1. By: Fluffkin Posted: 6th July

    I have something like you except that if someone criticizes me my brain tells me that I’m lazy, fat, and will never amount to anything. The same thing happens if they complement me, my brain tells me they’re lying and in fact mean the exact opposite. This voice in my head and wraps around me like a snake and even if I tell myself I’m lying to myself, the voice will say that I’m just denying the truth. This voice is that of my mother, and even though she’s never said these things to me her criticism starts it most of the time. What is this?

  2. By: Light Posted: 3rd December

    Thank you Darlene. Today I’ve been thinking about what the tapes are in my head and I have a lot of anger and hurt. Underneath it all I am devastated over abandonment — it’s from a very young age and feels primitive. I don’t let the magnitude of the abandonment (or my mind won’t let it) come to the surface. A tape is looping through my mind reviewing conversations, slights, and awful things family members have said to me or about me. When I can distract myself it’s better.

    I dislike going to bed at night because I know what’s coming while I am in bed in the quiet. I am online a little too much, losing myself in the distraction.

  3. By: Light Posted: 2nd December

    I think I have had disassociation or at the least trauma. I have large chunks of time in elementary and middle school for which I have little to no memory. I also can at times “space out” when I’m around other people. I go somewhere in my head. Sometimes my inner world is so loud that I can have a conversation with another, or be somewhere, and not remember details like what this person was wearing, what was in the room, etc.

    I’m older now and am scared that I’m not going to grow and change. I’ve gotten too comfortable in my life cocoon and find I keep myself solitary and too busy with projects so I don’t make big changes. My life feels like a groove on a record album that gets deeper and deeper, and I don’t know if I can get out.

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 3rd December

      Hi Light
      I found journaling and self talk the keys to overcoming this part you are talking about. It isn’t the lack of memories that got in my way, it was figuring out what the triggers were that caused me to disconnect from myself and talking myself through them.
      Don’t give up; this journey has lots of stick points but each can be overcome with persistence and some loving self talk!
      Hugs, Darlene

  4. By: Terry Posted: 30th November

    I have been struggling with a voice in my head that tells me a whole world of things, I’m a deadbeat dad, to I hate you, and tells me to go just go, like walk away. I have a eating disorder as well and I can’t figure out reality from fiction most of the day, I am truly scared and feel as if this nightmare I call my life will end. Whan I eat I have great fear And before I eat it is bad and I hesitate from eating, my health has gone down greatly and I know I won’t Survive much longer unless I am healed. What I am saying is, I hope all these stories that have been shared get better and the light at the end of the tunnel is seen.

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 2nd December

      Hi Terry,
      Welcome to EFB ~ I hope you find the hope and comfort you are looking for. It might be a good idea to see a doctor to get a bit of in person support with this eating disorder. There is hope! I am healed and that is what I write about here.
      Thank you for sharing,
      Hugs, Darlene

  5. By: Suzanne Posted: 23rd September

    I wanted to add to this conversation that it is possible that the voices we are hearing are actually disassociated parts of ourselves, not just internalized voices from our past. As children, our brains consist of very distinct “personalities” that do not congeal until we are older. If you suffer trauma as a child, usually repeated and often perceived as life-threatening at the hands of a primary caregiver, it can interrupt healthy integration from happening, ergo, very distinct and separate selves still present as an adult.

    Key signs of this phenomenon would be: highly distinctive memory variations that fluctuate from day to day, inability to recall key personal information that is too far-reaching to be explained as mere forgetfulness, other types of amnesia, lost blocks of time, extreme reactions to people or situations that you can’t seem to control, a sense of observing yourself doing things or saying things as if you are someone else, i.e., out of body experiences, hearing audible voices telling you things that you don’t expect to hear or that you are not conscious of originating, along with depression, anxiety, panic attacks, phobias, thoughts of suicide, sleep disorders, alcohol and drug abuse, trances, self-persecution, self-sabotage, and compulsions to do things you wouldn’t normally do.

    Although this sounds frightening, it is possible to befriend these other “selves” and by doing so begin to start integrating with them, even the less pleasant of them. I don’t believe that we will ever be as we might have been had we not been “broken,” but at least we will not be at war with our other selves. To thine own self be true.

  6. By: Kelly Posted: 30th July

    I actually bought myself a bright red couch & there are beautiful colors all over my home to sort of “combat” the voices. It feels really liberating every time I use my own money to buy the sushi at the grocery store that I really enjoy or I buy a pretty new shirt from my favorite store to wear to work. As I leave the store with my purchases, I sometimes stop & I think to myself, “Take THAT voices! Yeah, I just did something for myself, so what are you going to do about it?!”

  7. By: Kelly Posted: 30th July

    Hello Darlene, Thank you so much for writing this article. It is nice to know that someone else understands what I mean when I say that I always hear my Mother’s nagging hypercritical voice in my head. Therapists never seem to understand what I mean & I do not know why they do not get it. It is especially difficult when shopping for home decor, groceries, clothes, etc. by myself. I always hear my Mother’s nagging voice telling me that my decor choice is hideously ugly, the food will make me fat, & the clothes are too expensive. It is especially difficult when I make something creative. I have always loved art & crafting. All that I ever hoped for was for my Mother to tell me that something that I made was beautiful. Instead, her & her horrible husband would make fun of me, ignore me, lecture me about how it was made wrong, point out my “mistakes”, go nuts because I made a “mess” in my own paint tray/did not clean my own paint brush well enough, etc. It is really hard now seeing her in person because the nagging criticism is then really happening in real life as opposed to just in my head.

  8. By: Tanuja Posted: 29th June

    Hello Darlene, your story is quite similar to mine, my parents and sibling kept crushing. my self-esteem. I adopted self-destructive behavior since childhood. I had a major poisonous couple relationship which has further destroyed me . I began to hear his negative voice for many months. I still cannot figure out of how can I remove that. For some days , it literally obliterates my self-esteem . Thank you for this article … it brings a ray of hope !

  9. By: Lucy Posted: 29th April

    Thanks, this has given me a brand new perspective on getting rid of the negative voices that I’ve been dealing with for many years. Today, I’m going to find and confront them, rather than waiting for them to find me 🙂 Love this proactive approach!

  10. By: tom Posted: 17th September

    It is interesting that all of us have similar stories to share about hearing voices or thoughts. For myself, it had been years and it only happened once. However, it was an eye opening experience. I feel I pushed these voices away so that I would never allow them to reach a concise level, for fear of insanity. However, I am now hoping to develop a relationship with this inner dialogue again.
    What strikes me as odd, is that if you try and look up the subject to find out more about it, you won’t find much. Just descriptions of audio hallucinations, signs of mental illness etc… Is it any wonder I pushed these voices away for as long as I have.
    Tom

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 17th September

      Hi Tom
      Yes it is very interesting and odd that we are instructed to push them away and that there is not much info on this. I tried for YEARS to push them away and when I listened to them, and spoke back to them to go deeper, everything changed.
      Thanks for sharing,
      hugs, Darlene

  11. By: Nina Posted: 15th September

    Thanks 🙂 I’m going to have a go at entering into the dialogue as it seems like a good idea. My voices are often indistinct angry voices, which I worked out to be people arguing in another room and me assuming they were arguing about me or because of me. I do have voices that seem to want to look after me too though, I’m rather spontaneous and do things without thinking and the voices say I should have been more thoughtful/careful and not so impulsive. I’ve always fought with the idea that I feel like a “good” person but the voices remind me that that’s not how I’m seen. I’ve suffered from depression most of my life and have accepted that the voice of depression is not trustworthy and it just wants to keep you under control but it’s very hard to battle on, so now I won’t, I’ll make it a conversation and see how it goes. I like to be in control of my own brain and to be instrumental in a “cure” for my constant companion…….watch this space…….if I remember to come back and report! Fibro-fog etc.

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 15th September

      Hi Nina
      Welcome to EFB ~ glad that this blog resonated with you.
      Thanks for sharing,
      hugs, Darlene

  12. By: Molly Posted: 13th May

    Is it alright if I just type/write out what these thoughts in my head keep telling me, like a track set on repeat in the background, that I can only make out the words of which the constant hum consists of if I concentrate, or let myself fall back into that dungeon in my mind. They tell me I’m useless, I’ll never be good enough, I’m nothing without my grades, I’m evil, I never have and never will be good enough, all that I have and ever will deserve is constant pain, I should die but I should live to continue suffering, I’m nothing but an attention-seeker (this one I recognize as an adapted version of what my mom told me in a fight that we had)… And those ones seem to be the only ones I can hear right now, but I’m sure there are more. Oh wait, apparently that was a trigger of some sort, because now one piped up and said I’m a liar, so what’s the point in trying to get help… No, it said, “You’re a liar, don’t bother telling them, no one’s going to believe you.” So should I do the opposite of what those voices tell me to do? And yes, when I say voices, I do mean thoughts, but I can easily hear them in… my mind’s “ear”?

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 14th May

      Hi Molly
      Welcome to EFB ~ That is how those thought worked for me too ~ just like that! What I did was address them. I drilled down deeper and asked “why do you say that?” type questions and I got some clarity about their origins. Those voices are never right but they have an origin. I learned to gently reassure myself that those voices were wrong as I learned to look at where they came from in the first place.
      hugs, Darlene

  13. By: Tom Posted: 24th November

    Hi Darlene,

    I’d like to ask your opinion. Do you feel that tuning back into these voices i.e., like the ones I heard many years ago would be a good idea? My feeling is that these voices are going on at an unconscious level anyway and that tuning into them might give me insight into why I feel so lousy & unworthy so much of the time. However, I really don’t want to go crazy and hearing voices is one of the signs. I was able to effectively push away these voices (thoughts what have you…) for the past 20 years, at least on a conscience level, but maybe it is time to hear them again and start to work with them. What do you think? I feel like I am asking is I should try swimming in the deep end of the pool, with the risk of drowning into insanity. I am both excited and scared at the same time. Deep-down I feel that the only way to heal is to face my demons, and if that means hearing voices then so be it.
    I should also mention that I don’t believe i can just conjure up these voices at a whim. No I think it will take a level of trust and maybe a trained therapist perhaps in IFS or Ego state therapy to allow the voices i.e., parts of myself to come back into my awareness.
    Would love to hear your opinion on the matter.
    Tom

  14. By: Tom Posted: 21st November

    Hi Darlene,
    Many years ago I was sitting on my bed feeling crumy about being an outsider and sort of just letting the feeling sink in. Later on that evening (still laying down on my bed) I actually started hearing a nasty very mean voice. It told me I was pathetic, stupid, an embarrasment … you get the picture. It wasn’t like a voice in the room, it was more like I tuned into my thoughts and just listened into what was going on. My first resction was “wow, how interesting”, but that was immediately followed by Holy F#$k, I must be psyczofrantic if I cn hear voices. Mind you these were thoughts that were not being produced by me at least on a conscience level!
    That fear ( being crazy) was enough for me to never allow those “voices” to show up again. However, I am now wondering if I missed an oppotunity by not engaging with the voice all these years. I have recently discovered Richard Schwartz and IFS therapy, I am reading his book where he describes multiple parts I.e., selves within ourself that are often times at conflict with one another. Anyways, I thought i’d share my story.

    Tom

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 24th November

      Hi Tom
      Welcome to EFB ~ Ya, I thought I was a little crazy too! But this method worked really well for me and helped me overcome so much more.
      Thanks for sharing,
      hugs, Darlene

  15. By: Nicola G Posted: 17th January

    I just read this and I can’t understand how your journey getting rid of the voice was so easy. The voice in my head is always being nasty to me, it has an aswer to everything, and I daren’t ask it anything other than to shut up because if I let it go on and on it soon tells me to hurt myself and if I don’t then it controls my arms and hands and makes me. I hate the voice in my head and I believe I am as worthless and unlovable as it says and now I believe it I can’t just stop and so it will never go away. Also nobody has ever been this horrible verbally to me so it can’t be somebody elses voice, it is my own second voice that has grown because of all the bad stuff that has happened in my life which in turn confirms that I am worthless and unlovable just like it says. I don’t know what to do. Please help me, I may be 19 but I feel like a child and all alone.

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 17th January

      Hi Nicola
      Welcome to Emerging from Broken
      The voice doesn’t grow only becasue of verbal abuse. You said that it is your ‘second voice’ that has grown because of all the bad stuff that has happened to you; those things don’t confirm anything bad about you, they confirm bad about the people that did those things. The voice comes from the messages that we got (nonverbal) about ourselves ‘because’ of those bad things that happened. Silencing the voice is about finding out what those messages are/were and changing them back to the truth. I hope you read some more of this website. There is lots of support and info here.
      Hugs, Darlene

  16. By: Jay Posted: 14th August

    Just read this with a lot of interest and still do not understand i am a year and half into my healing journey and have been hearing these thoughts for a while. especially towards others and very negative towards my self and others I hear the voices during therapy telling me do not tell etc…I am very confused and scared about it all. It feels like my own voice not different voices, my T has asked about them and asked me to write what they are actually saying towards myself and others which i did but found that very hard I am just very confused about all this. Jay

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 14th August

      Hi Jay
      Welcome to EFB. In my case my own voice had very often taken over “reminding” me not to tell, reminding me that I was unworthy. I learned to listen to understand where they came from in the first place. What made me believe or even remind myself that I was not worthy? It was the incidents/ traumas etc. that “taught” me how I was defined by others and then by myself. Once I understood how I defined myself, I was able to move forward. I had to understand the lies that I believed, before I could change them to the truth about myself and who I am.
      Hugs, Darlene

  17. By: joy Posted: 5th July

    sorry .. i meant to sign my name joy

  18. By: joy Posted: 5th July

    Hi Darlene

    Am so tucked away from the rest of the world right now trying to hide and sort out all the things in my head.. everything coming to the front at one time.

    I even asked a week off from school and am going to ask one more I believe..

    I am seeing things more clearly with the help of your blog and therapy and the biggest thing is how much negative talk I have been feeding to me.

    I grew up hearing but negative.. it become so much apart of me. that hearing anything else seemed to me a dream.

    Most times I heard nothing else. .mom hated me..siblings were too busy surviving till they left me church though me disrespectful for telling what happened at home.. teachers thought i was hopeless merely because of the home I come from and other students made fun of me becaue I was the girl whose daddy run away.

    Its all in me to think .. nothing good will come from me.. so much so when people say nice things now.. when i do really good .. I say it’s not me. no it can’t be me .. I know “me” and the me i know is worhless, a mistake, stupid, ugly, hopeless. illegitimate..

    I do all my homework..to say nice things to me.. but still deep down am laughing at myself . saying you can’t really believe what you are saying.

    I know all that negative stuff was bad yet I still wont let me believe am good.. like i have to keep on punishing myself with everyone’s lies about me..

    Without effort I can write beautiful poetry yet .. i say no thats no me . that’s god i don’t do that. not me. people say i sing beautifully and i say no . not me. thats not me at all. I tell myself before trying something new you might as well not try ..dont you know you can’t do anything?

    After coming to realize how mean I have been to myself ..I get mad at myself. .now isn’t that a mess!!! . .

    I know that am worth something.. that the voices that come out and say bad things of me are not true..yet they keep on going.Does it take time to stop all those bad things ..from making me feel bad about me?

    oy

  19. By: Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker Posted: 30th October

    Julie, I built a support system of friends that I could trust to tell me the truth and that really loved me. I read all of the books that I could find on the subject of incest and alcoholism. I went to 12-Step meetings. Adult Children of Alcoholics taught me about me and Al-Anon taught me about relationships. I talked to everyone who would listen to my story. I had 38 years that I didn’t talk about the hidden secret of incest in my family. Once I started going to 12-Step meetings, I talked and talked and talked for almost 10 years before I got it all out. I wrote journals at different times. One thing that helped me to become not so negative with myself and with others was a gratitude journal that I kept for about 3 of those years. Every day I would make a list of 3-10 things that I was grateful for in my life. Early in the morning or last thing in the evening seem to be the best times for me. The books that made the biggest difference for me were 2 books by Melody Beattie called Codependent No More and Beyond Codependency and a book by John Bradshaw called Healing The Shame That Binds You. A book that I ran across recently and reread is called Becoming Your Own Parent, The Solution for Adult Children of Alcoholics and Other Dysfunctional Families written by Dennis Wholey.

  20. By: Julie Posted: 30th October

    Hi everyone, Great conversation! Patricia, you said that affirmations were just one tool you used on your journey to wellness. What else did you do? I’d be really interested to hear whatother tools some of you used to have real breakthroughs. I know it’s not the same for everybody but I’m standing at the door of all this and am hungry for ways forward. Thanks

  21. By: Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker Posted: 23rd October

    Darlene, it took several years of working with the affirmations before I began to believe them too. Just like the rest of my journey, the work was worth where I went and the time spent getting there. What I gave was just a simplified example. This was just one of the tools that I used in my journey to wellness.

  22. By: Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker Posted: 23rd October

    Just telling those inner voices to shut up and ignoring them is another form of denial for me. I did that for many years and it didn’t help. They didn’t stay quiet anyway and just piled on more fog for me to try to see my way through.

    For ten years or more of my young adulthood, I tried ignoring and denying that the abuse and the inner voices were there. The denying just helped me make me more unhappy and hating myself.

    I don’t remember what self-help book told me to write down what those inner critical voices were saying. I used affirmations to counteract my critical inner voice. I was told to write down the affirmation followed by what my critical inner voice said. Then write down the affirmation again followed by the critical inner voice statement that I heard in my head. You keep writing the affirmation and what the critical voice says until at some point the critical voice stops. It worked for me. I did lots of writing before the voice finally shut up. This worked for me but it wasn’t an instant fix. It helped to make me more aware of those critical voices in my head. As Darlene said, those critical voices are just telling you lies.

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 23rd October

      Hi Patricia,
      I agree, just telling them to shut up was a form of denial for me too and YES they just added to the burden. I had done the affirmation thing too, and I think what took so long is that I never believed the affirmation! As soon as I stopped doing the affirmation, some of the effects of it wore off! LOL
      Thanks for being here and adding your voice Patricia!
      Hugs, Darlene

  23. By: Fi MacLeod exNicholson Posted: 22nd October

    That’s such a good point about being real. I’ve survived by pretending all was well (a learned behaviour from childhood) when all wasn’t well, wearing a false smile when inside my heart was broken, I stayed alive just!

    Now I’m being real, being honest, tearing those walls down and saying how it really was and how it really is, there is healing in that. It is so healing to now be able to be real.

  24. By: Kathryn Devine Posted: 21st October

    Yes Darlene, I couldn’t give it to, ’em’, as a child, but I sure can now, even if they are not always around in person, as at least one of them, our mother is no longer alive.

    I can now backchat that inner critic/s if they dare to try and usurp me or undermine me and I feel entirely comfortable in doing so now.

    I enjoy reading what both others and you, yourself post. Very much so in fact. It moves me profoundly, sometimes to a stream or two of tears, or three even, but it also reminds me, reinforces, that I am no longer Alone. You will probably never know how much and what you all say, what you all contribute, how it helps, because I have been alone, or had been feeling completely alone for such a long, long time.

    I imagine it helps others in the exact same way, simultaneously, those who are at the beginning and in the midst of their healing as well; to see and know and grasp that there are people out there in the wider world who truly do understand. We are all a work in progress, learning all the time and growing and then growing some more.

    Now all I have to do when I need to, is to practice and if needs be, challenge those who choose to still carry on in that way, the old way. That I am still learning to do, but working very hard on. I was such a Lady and still am most of the time, however not always, swear like a trooper on the odd occasion. 😉

    A big hug to you all from Brisbane, Queensland, Australia.

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 22nd October

      Kathryn, ~ how cool to get a hug all the way from Brisbane, Queensland Australia!
      I think that coming together and sharing this way is very powerful, helpful and healing. I had one friend that I would process stuff with over the phone and in email and it was very powerful and I really saw the need for something “bigger” ~ That was the very beginning of my thoughts towards creating this online. I find it reinforces me too, ery much so. Thank you for being here and for your encouragement.

      Fi ~ You bring up a great point here too, that our pretending was part of our survival methods and that we have to recognize that if we are to be able to stop doing it. Such a powerful statement that you have made here!
      Thanks so much,
      Hugs, Darlene

  25. By: Cassie Posted: 21st October

    Dear Darlene,

    I, too, have heard these inner voices for my entire life…especially as I got closer to adulthood. When I was about 25, I actively tried to retrain my brain to give me the truth. For instance, when I thought I am a failure…I would re-direct and say, “No, I made a mistake. One mistake does not make me a failure. I have done x and y right!” This seemed to work for a time. However, with the revelations of the sexual abuse (incest) in the last couple of years coupled with understanding that my mother was an abuser, as well…I have begun to crumble on re-directing my inner voices. Then, more recently I remembered that along with the 18 year long incestual relationship with my father, there was at least one other sexual abuser…I am having trouble hearing any “good” voices. The only ones I can hear are: “You are a whore.” “Nobody else will love you because you are so dirty.” “You are only useful for one thing…sex.”
    “You will never amount to anything.” “You are stupid and your opinions are, too.” “You are ugly and disgusting.” AND the list goes on…

    I love that you have created this particular blog. I just wish I had a more positive revelation to share.

    Thanks,
    Cassie

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 21st October

      Hi Kathryn,
      Something about your comment hit me ~ I remember that expression too, “i love me who do you love”. I remember the sneer… I had forgotten about it but as I was reading your post and I could actually feel my face fall.. I could feel the memory coming back. And then I heard her voice. What a nasty expression that is. Meant to squish the “everything” out of the child. Wow.. I am glad that you reminded me!
      Thank you for sharing all of this Kathryn, I found my eyes filling while reading some of these posts.. some of this stuff is so hurtful. We were kids.. children.
      I love what you said in conclusion ~ that you have been too nice. Sometimes it is great to give it back to the bully voices.
      Hugs, Darlene

      Hi Cassie
      At first (especially with a recent memory) this is hard, and the voices almost made me agree… but really Cassie, YOU didn’t do anything wrong, your father did. They did this to you, and that doesn’t make you a whore or stupid or any of those other things. I hope that you can eventually correct the voices that are lying to you, and please remember that sometimes this whole thing also takes time. Thanks for sharing your truth Cassie!

      One other thing, and this is for everyone, we don’t always have to be positive, I am extremely happy when everyone is just being real. I didn’t recover by being positive, I recovered by facing the horrors, being real, and facing those feelings that came with all that..
      Hugs, Darlene

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