In today’s blog post I am taking a look at motives driven by beliefs about ourselves that are not based in the truth. In order to do that, I am going to post some food for thought questions. You may answer them in the comments if you wish. You may share them with your friends. You may click the facebook “like button” or not. You have a choice. I want you to have a choice. The point of this post is not to make you feel guilty about yourself. The point is that in answering these questions for yourself, you will see some truths about your belief systems.
How many of us hide our communication in facebook from our families and close friends? There is nothing wrong with using that option and I am not suggesting that you stop hiding your likes and dislikes or comments in facebook. This exercise is merely an exercise in fog busting and truth realization. Everyone will have different answers. Some of us never use the hide button. Some of us really must use the facebook hide buttons, because to neglect to do so would truly be dangerous.
Having said that, here are the questions. Not all of them will apply to everyone;
~Why don’t I want my family to know that I am going to define my own value from now on?
~Why don’t I want my family to know that I participate in or read discussions about emotional and psychological abuse?
~Why do I use the hide button on some comments and not on others?
~Why don’t I want my family to know that I am reading a self empowerment blog?
~Why don’t I want my family to know that I am finding out that they were wrong about me?
~Why don’t I want my family to know that I do not belong to them? They don’t own me; or do I still think that they do?
~Why don’t I want my family to know that I have a mind of my own? That I am thinking about forbidden things; that I am going to grow up without permission from them?
~Why do I feel like or believe that I have to hide my actions?
~In thinking that I am protecting their feelings, why do I worry more about their feelings then I do about my own.
~Why do I question myself and my actions, MORE then I question theirs?
When I stood up for myself and took my life and my identity back, I was not using facebook for any kind of self improvement type work. If my family would have been on facebook with me, I would have been terrified they might find out what I was doing. I would have used all the hide features. That is not the point of this blog post.
The point is that It was in answering these kinds of questions that led me to realize my own belief system and all the problems that were rooted in that system. When I asked myself why I questioned my own actions more then I questioned theirs, I was stunned. I felt as though someone had punched me in the gut. These kinds of questions served as a giant spring board into the depths of my mind and greatly advanced my own process of changing the lies I believed, back into the truth.
Please remember that I am in no way encouraging you to stop using hide features or to start standing up to anyone, either family or friends. This is not about judgement. I am not judging you and I do not want you to judge yourself. This is an exercise in exposing your own belief system. This is not easy. This was what worked for me.
Please feel free to share your thoughts with me and with each other.
Finding treasure in the darkest places;
More on Mother Daughter Dysfunctional Relationship ~ there is a discussion in the comments that relates to this post
For those of you who are worried about privacy settings on Facebook, here are the instructions on how to set privacy settings:
Note: PRIVACY CONCERNS on Face Book
On Facebook, Emerging from broken is an open group. If you are concerned about others outside of this group viewing your posts, you can choose who sees your posts by following these links: Account, Privacy Settings, Personal Information and Posts, Posts By Me, then Customize. Choose who sees your posts from there. Please note that this option applies to all your comments, not just those on facebook pages.
For individual wall posts, below the ‘share’ button, there is a ‘filter’ option. If you click on that, you can choose who sees that particular wall post. This only applies to wall posts and not to the discussions or comments.