EMOTIONAL HEALING DOES NOT DEPEND ON….

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emotional healing “Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is YOU who will get you where you want to go, no one else.”  Les Brown

There is a critical fact that I had to DRILL into my brain in order to get the full benefit of the process of emotional healing.

EMOTIONAL HEALING DEPENDS ON ME

My emotional healing would not have been accelerated if my mother or father suddenly admitted their part in all the dysfunction that I grew up with. It would have been wonderful and today it might mean that we could restore our relationship and heal the damage there, but it would not be the source of my emotional healing. It would not be the necessary fuel.

Emotional healing would not have happened more rapidly if my parents sincerely apologized to me for the damage that they contributed to in my childhood.  It might have helped a bit but it would not be where the healing comes from. 

My emotional healing would not have happened faster if the people who sexually abused me suddenly confessed and turned themselves in.

My emotional healing would not have miraculously emerged because the police arrested the perpetrators and the courts agreed that these people committed crimes against me, and put them behind bars.  It would be great; it would be a cause for major celebration, yes… but it would not have been the foundation of my healing process.

Emotional healing did not occur because I had “the right therapist” A therapist cannot do the work for you. Therapists are only guides and most of them caused me more damage in the long run by trying to get me to “accept the past and leave it there” instead of getting to the core of the damage and overcoming it. And then there are the ones who actually seem to help and then take advantage of the trust that you put in them.

My emotional healing did not happen because my husband stood by me. In fact he DIDN’T stand by me at all.  He fought me and he fought the process. My healing and taking my life and individuality back threatened his control over me. It threatened his orderly little world where he was King and I was his servant.  He had his life all organized the way HE wanted it. He liked me messed up and compliant and he is the first one to admit that today.

My emotional healing did not depend on ANY of that.

In the beginning, when I first realized that I was not born broken and that the way I got messed up was not my fault but was in fact  caused by other people, I was really angry that I had to FIX what “they broke”. I had to move forward with my emotional healing anyway. No one was going to do it for me in fact the majority of people in my life didn’t want me to heal. They too liked me weak and sick and compliant. NO one wanted me to realize that I actually had equal value to them or their power over me would be exposed and they would therefore lose it. And when I healed and faced the truth about the ways that I was regarded by them, they did lose their power over me; because I refused to live that way anymore.

Overcoming dysfunctional relationships and emotional healing depends only on ME. Not on results, outcomes, negotiations, agreement from others, the law, or whether or not I lost or gained weight. Emotional healing does not depend on people or on “things”, money, or circumstances.  

It depends on ME.  

My husband’s emotional healing did not take place until HE did HIS work.

My healing came because I did the work. My emotional healing depended on ME.

YES YOU CAN… IF I CAN THEN YOU CAN.

Yes you can do the work.  I told myself that I could do it a million times and I still tell myself that. I can do this. I can face this. I can get through this. I can get to the roots of this and overcome it. And I keep going forward. I learned to FIGHT for me where no one else ever did. I had to do it. I learned to depend on ME. I became everyone and everything that was ever missing in my childhood. I did this for ME.

I keep going forward; knowing that my identity, my self esteem, my emotional health ~ depended and still depends on me now.

That is how I emerged from broken. That is how I accomplished my own emotional healing.

This concept is one of the biggest stick points that I encounter when working with others. I think that in my case I was afraid to believe that it was up to me to do this, because I was so convinced by the messages from others my whole life, that I could not succeed at anything and that I was not really worthy of equal value and a wonderful full life. I was afraid to take my life back in case I failed. I was afraid to fail because that would prove “they” were right.

 Please share your thoughts and feelings.

From surviving to thriving on the journey to wholeness;

Darlene Ouimet

The Emerging from Broken book is ready for download! If you find that the subject matter I am writing about resonates with you, get this book today! This 197 page, downloadable, printable, live linked e-book will put you on the fast track to healing.  Get yours here through the upper right side bar or click this link~ Emerging from Broken The Beginning of Hope for Emotional Healing

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Related Posts ~ False Beliefs like “I know I would be okay if…” 

Saying Sorry doesn’t automatically Cancel the damage 

132 response to "EMOTIONAL HEALING DOES NOT DEPEND ON…."

  1. By: Beverly Posted: 8th December

    My mind is driven by the need to be healthy and free rather than stuck and in pain. But I thank my mind for providing me with the ability to follow the process in manageable increments.

  2. By: Stitch Posted: 26th June

    I have been a benevolent lurker on this amazing site for some time now, and have to open up and tell you how much it means to me that this kind of help and community is now available to anyone. The first seeds of emotional healing were planted in me 25 years ago. I grew and learned a great deal in the last quarter century, at least enough to know I don’t need “them” (my emotionally abusive parents) because I am able to love myself. I was suicidal at 17, they still don’t know, but today I choose to live. I have discovered artistic talent late in life and it’s now a driving passion.
    One thing I haven’t worked through till now is figuring out why my family abandoned me, why my mother chose herself and not me. Reading on here has helped me so much to connect the dots, see the family history with new clarity, and feel compassion and forgiveness for Mom. Thank you and love to all!

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 27th June

      Hi Stitch
      Welcome to EFB ~ Self love and self care were both the solution and the results of healing for me.
      Glad you are here, hugs, Darlene

  3. By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 10th October

    Hi Bipolar Bear
    This post is not meant to tear down the reader it is meant to inspire hope that emotional healing doesn’t depend on outside circumstances but it possible for all. There is no shame in getting help. I got help but I did that for me. I get paid to help others. I am certianly not saying that getting help is not necessary. I too have found that many support people are abusive to the very people that need them. (and I think they are in the wrong jobs!) When people say “get over it” that is a whole different thing than saying “you can do it”. In your comment you say several times “I am dealing with them” and that is what I mean. I am so sorry that this post offended you and hope you understand that was not at all my intention.
    Hugs, Darlene

  4. By: Bipolar Bear Posted: 9th October

    I was very angry when I read this. It smacked of the dismissive “Get Over It” command that gets tossed whenever I am not doing well.
    I have other issues that are aggravated by the sexual abuse issues. So I am dealing with them as I try to deal with these. And both mental illness issues as well as sexual abuse issues are “managed” by the Mental Health System which I find to be incredibly ignorant and slow to treating people with questions about and problems concerning MI and SA. In fact I find many workers are often manipulative and abusive towards the people they are suppose to be giving treatment to.
    Ultimately I know I am responsible for myself (and my children who have also experienced abuse but so far not MI.) I am not afraid or embarrassed to say that I will still seek peaceful respite and someone to guide me by the hand. Sometimes I need someone who has more experience than myself to lead me when I am blind. Experiencing symptoms of BP puts a large hold on my mental recovery. I have been incredibly strong and tolerant i life so far. I know I will continue but sometimes I a mental vacation.

  5. By: Aurele Posted: 3rd March

    Hello darlene,

    Great blog, so inspiring, and encouraging.

    I am afraid of changing my life because I also believe that I will fail and feel worst than if I have done anything.

    I was also discouraged during my youngth to do things things by myself.

    I was discouraged by my father to escape from his power.

    I am so stuck.

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 3rd March

      Hi Aurele
      I felt that way too, and I found out that the fear was keeping me from life itself. This site is about how I found the courage, and how I learned to encourage myself. You can too!
      I am glad you are here.. keep reading.
      Hugs, Darlene

  6. By: Brandon Posted: 12th February

    Just came across this post. I love it and its so true. I remained stuck for years in my healing, because I was waiting for someone to apologize, etc. Thanks for this.

  7. By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 3rd February

    Hi ShellStar!
    Welcome to emerging from broken! Thank you for sharing your story. I found gardening to be a very soothing and healing time to think. Yay for building a life for yourself.
    Hugs, Darlene

  8. By: SMD Posted: 2nd February

    Darlene & Mimi thanks so much for your support. It is a relief to be able to talk about my family issues without judgement! I do journal, but now i have a new avenue, in which I can vent with others in the same situation. I have shared some of the info in Darlene’s posts to my counselor, and she was pleased that i am here! Like Martin Luther said, “Only The Truth will set us free!” I Look forward to sharing, so i don’t carry all the baggage of my family. Thanks……

  9. By: Shellstar Posted: 2nd February

    Hi Darlene and everyone

    I have just read the article and most of the blogs here and I soooo relate to much of what has been said. My healing journey began once I became a Christian and as my relationship with God grew stronger I was finally ready to deal with the root issue of my pain.

    Two years ago, I was thirty three, the Lord revealed a long hidden repressed incident of sexual abuse when I was three by the boyfriend of a nanny. Some healing took place but as Darlene said we are the only ones who have control over our emotional healing. I have suffered with depression over the years but leading up to this revelation, it became so bad that I could no longer work.

    I have always struggled with female friendships as my sister and another girl also interferred with me – put it this way, my first passionate kiss was with this girl. I have huge trust issues and have had many tumultous, volatile situations since.

    My family is very disfunctional my father is an alcoholic and my mother is in denial. I have been the rescuer. Last year Dad had a run-in with my sister and mum ended up getting struck. Since then my sister has had nothing to do with them).

    Last year I moved away from home to study and build a life of my own, However, I came down with anxiety and had to pull out of the course. I have had counselling on and off over the years some of it has been useful others not so. My take is that the ‘Church’ does not understand sexual abuse victims, or alcoholism, or homosexuality for that matter. It is not equipped to deal with the fall-out. That’s not to say that God doesn’t understand and is unwilling to help and heal. But it is a journey, it’s not a quick fix and I am working alongside Him. I have since found a safe and wonderful man who loves me dearly and KNOWS me. His mother is a wonderful woman who has been instrumental in my healing and ministers to Christians. I am building a life for myself that doesn’t revolve around my parents and their problems. I am finally starting to live at the age of 35.

    At the moment I am enjoying my vegetable garden and I live in the country with beautiful green paddocks and hills and i see the sun set every night from my kitchen window. I start a teacher aide course next week so please pray for me that I will be able to cope with my anxiety…I have hope that this time will be better.

    Thank you for all the comments and Darlene your posts have been very encouraging thanks so much.

  10. By: Randi Posted: 2nd February

    I needed to read this, thank you. I relate to this on so many levels, and I think for me I have the added nuance of literally being born “broken” I was born with fixable birth defects. I always felt I deserved being treated the way I was treated, because I had caused it. Realizing that it was not me, made me angry at first and I felt like I did not want to have to do the work. Now I realize how empowering it really is to be the one doing it, it is giving me the power to define myself and my life rather then letting others do it for me as I always had. Thank you!

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 2nd February

      Hi Mimi
      Therapists and councillors are only people. They are not always right. I had a huge struggle with this; I was so torn with the obligation stuff and it was okay for me to not have a relationship with my family. But here is the bottom line for me. I did my part. My mother is the one who walked away from me when she refused to respect my boundary or even ME as a person. Why is is up to me to constantly carry the burden of the relationship?? Why do I have to overlook her treatment of me? What does that mean? Why is it that no one (in the sick dysfunctional system) ever suggests that my mother is the one who is wrong? It has always been up to me to “fix it”. By my mothers actions, SHE doesn’t want a relationship with me.
      At the end of the day I realize that there are many many misguided people in all professions and I do not have to give them credibility just because of their “profession”.
      Hope that helps,
      Hugs, Darlene
      p.s. as far as being a Christian goes, where does it say that following Christ means letting people abuse or devalue you? Christ’s message is the original message of equal value for all people.

      Hi Randi
      Welcome to EFB! Yay for your victories! It is empowering to be the one doing it!
      Hugs, Darlene

  11. By: Mimi Posted: 2nd February

    Darlene and SMD,
    You might have read somewhere here that I sent my mother a letter about 12 days ago I think. I held her accountable for some big life altering lies she told in 2011. She has not responded. My counselor insists that God wants me to have “some form” of relationship with her and that the big 10 states I’m to honor her.

    This question is mostly for you Darlene. I’m struggling with the implications of the counselor. I understand what she’s saying because I am a Christian. But, don’t I get to define what Honor and relationship means…. between me and God? Not between me, my counselor, and God. I feel like if I allow my mom and I’s relationship to drudge on the way it always has, my mental health will be at stake. Do I have to give up on my own mental health to Honor her?? It doesn’t seem logical to me, but this Honoring thing has been waying on me since I saw the counselor on Monday. Thanks for your help.

    SMD,
    I hope you will come and talk even DURING the times of depression. I found that it was then I reaped the most benefits. I was able to release and there was nearly always someone here to affirm, or respond in some way. It helped me realize, at least in my depression, I wasn’t alone. Releasing through writing is a big help to me, even in journaling, but I know everyone is different. I have an inherent need to spill it out somehow, so it doesn’t overflow into my attitude and life, and even the way I treat people. I tend to carry around irritation if I haven’t vented in some way. Thinking of you.
    With Love,
    Mimi

  12. By: SMD Posted: 1st February

    Mimi, Thank you for your support & validation with talking back to the voices. It’s a relief to know i’m not the only one!

  13. By: SMD Posted: 1st February

    Darlene, Thanks for your understanding & validation, that what is going on with my mom is wrong. She is a narcissist & i’ve known that for years, however i have struggled with maintaining some kind of relationship with her, despite the Fact that there is always something she will do or say that will trigger me. I do believe in the Truth of the matter & for me to see clearly who my mom & dad are- (the good, the bad & the ugly)….because for so long i expected them to be the loving parents i so needed. My mom is a good caregiver with providing good food & occasional money at the Holidays, but those things don’t really matter to me. I’ve wanted a nurturing mom all my life. I realize I’m a nurturing mom to my kids and i do talk to them about their feelings. I was not allowed to talk about my feelings & my dad saw it as a weakness if i cried. I feel so sad when i think about how i suppressed my feelings as a child & an adult because of my family’s belief regarding feelings. Anyway, i’m a work in progress & i’m in the process of healing myself with the help of a caring counselor. I believe this blog will also help, because the people here are empathetic due to their wounds as well….I will continue sharing as i feel up to…some days i will not feel up to it because of my depression, but i will try to rise above. Thanks for sharing your healing process.I learning so much already by reading your posts- you are so intelligent & insightful!….Thank You

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 2nd February

      SMD
      It took me years to realize that the good does not cancel the bad. My mother made sure we were fed, housed and clothed. There were even occasional treats. But that didn’t cancel out the damage, the danger she put me in, the men, her lack of caring when I needed help and I kept trying to make the good cancel the bad. It was when I finally faced the truth and then the damage that I began to heal.
      Glad you are here!
      Hugs, Darlene

  14. By: Mimi Posted: 31st January

    Sonia,
    I’m glad to hear you do it too. I was questioning myself in those posts above. I thought, “well, it’s confirmed…. I’ve lost my mind” Just a good coping mechanism in desperate times. I’m happy it works for you too, and you found out as well, that you’re not the only one!! 🙂
    Peace,
    Mimi

  15. By: SMD Posted: 31st January

    Oh my God, I talk back to my voices in my head too!…i usually do this, when i’m home alone or in the car. I talk out loud too…sometimes people in other cars look at me, but i ignore them and continue when they are out of sight. This talking back is a way for me to reframe my thoughts and i say out loud, “that is not true or that’s far from the truth!”…it does make me feel better & reframes the voice of my mother or someone else criticizing me, as out of line or lying!…Wow, it’s amazing i’m not the only one talking to myself lol!…I know i’m not crazy or out of my mind lol….

  16. By: SMD Posted: 31st January

    Darlene, What you have said about the abusers- family members, not admitting their mistakes would not change your healing any faster. I totally agree. I wanted this for years and would talk to my mom about certain past incidents, hoping she would see the error of her ways & at least admit she made mistakes. I was always the problem for bringing the past up & hurting her. I stopped doing that because I was beating a dead horse. I realized she will never think I had it hard because her past was worse. She even said that to me once that she didn’t understand my depression, since i was loved as a baby (kissed a lot) & never abused!…Well, i was upset with this since she will not acknowledge my pain or take any responsibility. She actually turned it around many times & told me she doesn’t like when people don’t take responsibility…hint hint!…Well, i know this is far from the truth with me- i’ve taken much responsibility for myself, by going to therapy for most of my adult years and i’m 43 now!…she doesn’t go to therapy, because in her mind, she was a “good Mother”…i told her once she was not capable of giving me what i needed & she was not a good mother…Well, she was furious at me & didn’t talk to me for a while & i kept my distance. I have learned not to go there with her- it’s a dead horse and I set limits around how often i see her & my father, which includes Holidays. There is more to my story & my brother & sister feed into her sickness and “appease her”- in their words!…I’m the black sheep for speaking the truth & setting boundaries and limits. I would not do it differently, since they don’t provide any real support for me or my kids. It’s about them- when will I be over next, i don’t tell them when my son has his activities, so they can come & the give excuses to come over to my house…i do empathize with my mom’s serious diabetes- she is very sick & continues to work even though her disease is in control. She will need a insulin pump to regulate her sugars….Anyway, her moods r up & down because of this & i do not visit, because she will lash out at me for some little thing!….My dad told me about her unstable diabetes & i said i’m sorry to hear she is sick. He suggested not to visit because she is having a hard time…well i said, it’s best i don’t visit because we would rub each other the wrong way…my dad laughed- he knews & he is very loyal to her….So, the false loyalty, compliance, obedience runs rampant in my family…the more i write, the more i want to stay away from my mother in particular but i have been trained that family is “thicker than blood” & respect your parents…even when they make big mistakes & cause harm!….Sorry for rambling but this helps me to process & purge some of my issues….Thanks for listening…I’ve never wrote about my family like this and feel guilt about doing so….I’m tired of being a compliant daughter!….

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 1st February

      Hi SMD
      Well you have found the right place to share this stuff. The thing is that what is going on is wrong. I felt guilt when I first started talking about this stuff, but today I realize that seeing the truth by talking about it saved my life. With my mother, I told her that we could either work it out and have a two sided mutually respectful relationship or not. She picked not and I found freedom and more emotional health then I ever dreamed existed.
      Glad you are here, please share often!
      Hugs, Darlene

      About voices Mimi and SMD ~ talking to myself was a huge part of my process. It was one of the ways that I realized what my belief system was deep down. I think it is totally healthy and it worked for me!
      Hugs!!

  17. By: Mimi Posted: 26th December

    Dave,
    You can count on me to cover you in prayer! I’m sorry for the constant pain you describe. Hang on, there is hope, and help ~ right here on this blogspot.
    Love and peace sent your way!!
    Mimi

  18. By: dave Posted: 26th December

    Thank you Mimi & Jen & Michelle and of course Darlene. My wife keeps pushing me towards relationships with men. She is somewhat scared of me having friendships with women. I think she is afraid i will run off with some other woman. I have never cheated on her in 10 years but she is still not comfortable with me even having lunch with female friends. Pretty much all of my male friends have abandoned me during this journey. I did make one new friend recently that has actually worked on his stuff. he can relate to some of what i am going through. I cry every day. I have been crying every day for years and years and years. I dont know how else to let go of the pain and the past and all the hurt and disappointment. I spent 21 years trying to please my mother in every way possible and she ended up betraying me in the end and so did my father. The first time i ever shared a bed with someone was when i was molested by a male cousin. the first 6 months of our marriage i slept on a mattress on the floor of our bedroom. i could not bare to share a bed with anyone. I still struggle with the shame and pain of being abused. I value your prayers and support. I need them. I get almost nothing from my church and very little from friends. My heart has been broken my whole life. It feels like someone took a sledgehammer to it and it just shattered into a million pieces. It hurts all the time. Please pray for me !

    Dave

  19. By: Mimi Posted: 23rd December

    Again… thanks to you both. I HOPE I’ve saved others from this woman’s wrath. I hate to think of all the young lives she’s discouraged in the past. She is well past retirement age. Ah well, I’m just glad it’s over and I don’t have to see her again. She did need to be stopped or siginificantly slowed down. I hope you’re both right ~ that there was some kind of impact. Hope you both have a very Merry Christmas!!
    With much love,
    Mimi

  20. By: J Posted: 23rd December

    Mimi,

    let me put it this way — I strongly doubt the college is doing a 2nd survey and highlighting the “anonymity” details so strongly to make people feel comfortable enough to share the POSITIVE stuff they weren’t comfortable writing about before! 🙂

    They’re on to her. Even if she’s not gone now (or soon), one more step outta line from her & she’s toast. And as Darlene said, if you hadn’t done what you did, who knows how long it would’ve continued?? MUCH respect for having the strength to do what you did!!!

  21. By: Mimi Posted: 22nd December

    Darlene and J,
    I can’t honestly remember which string ~ I think maybe anger on the path to healing?? And, no J, not the end of my study, but the end of any contact with the professor from H*LL.

    Perhaps one more victory to celebrate. Nearing the end of the semester, she passed out a review. Each student fills it out and it’s turned in to the dean, approx 2-3 weeks before the semester’s over. Pretty standard practice. Here’s the other thing though…. when the day of finals was over, a SECOND review was posted to each student in my class, on our college account homepage. It stated that because students don’t always feel comfortable being honest before the semester is over, etc….; It went into details about how it’s anonymous and what the professor can see/not see. AND, your grade won’t suffer because class is over. We all got the opportunity to answer about 10 questions and enough space to write until your wrists wear out. And, boy did I!! I’ve never had that happen before in all the classes I’ve taken there. I wonder if her number is almost up!!?? 🙂
    Thanks again to both of you!! Hope you have a sunny day today!!
    xoxo,
    Mimi

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 22nd December

      Hey Mimi
      That is wonderful! Sounds like you had an impact ~ perhaps you have saved others from going through what YOU went through! YAY
      Thanks for sharing this second win!!
      Hugs, Darlene

  22. By: J Posted: 22nd December

    Hey Mimi,

    that’s so awesome!!! thanks heaps for letting us know – must admit it’d slipped my mind with everything going on, but it’s really great to know it worked out well for you! 🙂

    Also really glad I was able to be a support for you – I know how much it’s meant to me when I’ve had people respond on here!

    Merry Christmas to you too!

    PS I can’t remember which thread we talked about this in to look — was this the end of your study now? Even more congrats if so!! 🙂

  23. By: Mimi Posted: 21st December

    To all, I’m sorry this is off subject.

    To Darlene and J, my faithful micro supporters. I just checked my grade and she gave me a “B”!!! I’ve never been so happy to have a “B”. I’ve actually never had one before but in this class I was honestly looking for a “D”. It’s over, I made it through those last few weeks and came out with a letter grade I’m happy with, although I always expect an “A”, I’m okay this time. Thanks to you both for your support and validation!! I felt so much better about it after I posted here and you both responded and encouraged me. THANK YOU!! Hope everyone has a peaceful, safe, healthy, and very Merry Christmas!!!
    Love,
    Mimi

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 22nd December

      Mimi!!
      That is fantastic! Thanks for telling us. It feels great to stand up for yourself, doesn’t it??!! I hope you don’t have to deal with that woman again but wow I am so thrilled for you about this outcome.
      Hugs, Darlene

  24. By: J Posted: 20th December

    Hi Mimi,

    just saw your post (#83) – that’s so beautiful, thank you so much!

    I can’t remember the context of your question (scared to be alone) – was that in relation to something specific I’d said, or just more general question?

    Anyway I think I’m scared to live alone because of the brainwashing that I was incapable of supporting myself. Also the constant nagging re any little household thing having to be done “her way” (my mother’s) rather than “efficient” etc.

    Bit of a double whammy this one – first off, the implication that I’m incapable of figuring anything out for myself / wrong when I think of a more efficient way to do something because it’s not “the right way” [ie how she’s always done it], and 2nd because of all this in a lot of household type areas I’ve just switched off & not wanted to have to interact w/her so don’t actually know how to do a lot of stuff / worry that I’m not doing it “right” [not by her standards; more as in “will eating this make me sick” or “how often do I have to clean things to not get sick from some weird infection”

    In regards to being alone, I think I’ve been afraid of my own head/thoughts for a long time, because I have felt suicidal at times. And just knowing how easily my brain/thoughts can find a tiny little chink in my thinking & weasel its way in to f**k with me.

    (That feels somewhat schizophrenic writing that. It just reminded me of my GP telling me one time that all the mental stuff is all in my head (not the causes of things necessarily, just the actual mental processes etc). As stupid as this seems in retrospect, I don’t remember ever realizing this before. The way I remember thinking about it (this sounds very morbid, but wasn’t meant to be) is that if I don’t exist, the problems don’t exist. (I don’t mean problems that have causes from others; just the mental gymnastics getting stuck on everything etc). It actually felt positive in a strange way I think…. (thinking…) oh yeah, it felt positive because it helped me to realize that nobody can really KNOW what’s going on inside my head unless I tell them. So this helped me to realize if I don’t tell him things, he can’t even begin to understand them. (Again seems very obvious in hindsight, but felt like quite a big realization at the time).

    Anyway been on for quite a while already; time to cruise I think. Should probably eat something sometime today too! 🙂

  25. By: Mimi Posted: 19th December

    Thanks Jen. I appreciate your response.

    I am an animal LOVER. I loved your story about your horse teaching you how to mother. I think “non” animal people sometimes don’t understand the depth of relationships with our pets (babies). Even among those of us who do love them, I wonder if we know what all is going on in their communication and interaction, and how intelligent they really are. My dog stares out the glass door everyday about the time my husband should be getting home. He sits patiently watching out the door, same time everyday. It blows my mind. Three different species in our house; each loving the other and living in peace. 🙂
    ps – maybe they could teach my family how to do this.
    Blessings,
    Mimi

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