Defining Spiritual Abuse and the Effect on us as Children


church abuse, religious abuseWhat could possibly motivate a pastor, priest or minister, these “so called” servants of God ~ to tell a child that they are evil and displeasing to God when they seek help by disclosing that they have been sexually abused? And not just sexually abused, but ANY kind of abused. When a child seeks help by telling, what kind of evil manipulative motive makes “a servant of God” tell a child that they are unloved, sinning and disappointing to GOD because they talked about this horror that happened to them? Where is a child supposed to go for help when this is happening in their own family?  Children are taught to trust certain adult authority figures without question.  When those authority figures misuse their power, they have the power to devastate a child for life.

This is spiritual abuse. Some people call it church abuse or religious abuse.

And if everyone else accepts that the church or religious authority IS an authority deserving of trust and respect, the child will be blamed and accused. The child will be labelled a liar a sinner and a disappointment to God or to Jesus. What does that DO to a child? What does that communicate to a child? Have you thought about that? What about if YOU are that child? Have you thought about it that way?

This is spiritual abuse, church abuse and religious abuse.

The child might be accused of being possessed and the procedure that follows that accusation is to be stood up in front of the church, while this “trusted servant of God” announces that you “are possessed with an evil demon, which needs to be cast out and proceeds to “cast it out”. No consideration for the child who is now being re-abused and can now add the terror of an exorcism to the list of other abuses. The child is not heard, not believed and not helped in any way.

That is also spiritual abuse and spiritual abuse causes damage just like every other type of abuse.

Children are accused of lying; they are accused of being “evil” for lying. They are Accused. Not supported, not validated, not consoled, not protected. Only accused.  The child’s story is rarely even investigated. Expressions are used such as “we can’t bring shame on the family” or “we can’t bring shame on the church”.  What does that do to the self esteem or self worth of a child. How does a child DEAL with that? What do you think that leads to?  Depression maybe? An eating disorder? Addictions?  It certainly leads to the destruction of self esteem and a fear of telling. This is spiritual abuse. This is the misuse of power. Church abuse and religious abuse are damaging to the person who is discounted and dismissed. This is not LOVE or grace. This spiritual abuse is NOT pleasing to God. How can it be?

Do these adults really think these children are lying? I can tell you that the children that this happens to end up questioning themselves when they are labelled this way. They are taught that truth is false and lies are true. It gets confusing.Children CAN’T deal with it and it stays with them. They take it with them into adulthood.

This is all part of spiritual abuse, church abuse and religious abuse.  And all abuse does incredible damage to the self esteem and to the emotional health of children.

I don’t think is it logical that children would lie about this stuff. Where would they get the frame of reference to lie about it?  I think it is just “easy and irresponsible” for people to decide the child is lying. Not believing a child who tells about sexual abuse or about domestic violence takes the responsibility OFF the adults to actually DEAL with it.  And sometimes it gives people permission to keep abusing these kids. Sometimes it gives OTHER adults permission to abuse the child too. If no one is going to get caught, if no one is going to believe the child, that sends a message to all other predators.  It also sends a specific message to the child. That they don’t matter ~ and that defines personhood. The defines a child deeply about their value and self worth.

And defining a child as unworthy and invalid is most definitely spiritual abuse.

These “servants of God” teach truth, honesty and love and they turn a blind eye to abuse in favour of lies and cover-ups. The victims of these crimes (both adults and children) don’t realize it at the time, but these “trusted authorities” are actually teaching a very different story from love, truth and honesty.  They teach that the most powerful win. They teach that children don’t matter, that they don’t count and that children are not really “people”. They model that that they can do whatever they want to children without consequence. They teach deception. They teach hatred. They destroy lives. They destroy self esteem, self worth and self love. This teaching that the most powerful wins causes a lust for power in some and a belief in victim mentality in others. This kind of spiritual abuse also teaches that God is a horrible mean and untrustworthy liar. They teach that there is no love or truth. They teach that the teachings in the real bible don’t work.

That is spiritual abuse at its finest.

These spiritually abusive church authorities who have been given positional power in society don’t use their power to empower and nurture. They use it for their own gain. And that is not love.  And children are the scapegoats because they are the weakest and they can’t fight back.

And those children grow up with all that unresolved horror; unprotected and labelled as sinners, liars, evil and unworthy even in Gods eyes and they end up struggling while society continues to make judgements on them.  New labels and judgements such as “lack of faith” and “unforgiving”, “immature” and “unable to cope” are placed on them and other equally harmful judgements and the cycle continues.

All of this is spiritual abuse church abuse and religious abuse and abuse always causes emotional damage.

And we wonder why there is so much depression, addiction, eating disorders, stress and anxiety related issues and  in our world.  It all starts when a child is discounted.

I was that child.

Please share your thoughts about this kind of spiritual or religious abuse. Remember that you may use any name you like in the comment form.

Exposing truth; one snapshot at a time.

Darlene Ouimet

P.S. ~ I am a contestant in the “I CAN ACHIEVE” contest and I am currently in 49th place overall. (About top 5%) I am asking my Canadian friends and readers to consider voting for me once a day for the next few weeks. First prize is $15,000.00 which would help me to take emerging from broken to the next level. Please help me! Here is the link ~ “I CAN ACHIEVE” There is a daily prize draw of $100.00 per day for the voters too! Thanks everyone!

Related posts: Church lies and religious Abuse

Evil Manipulative people and Emotional Damage

Categories : Self Esteem



When a child is discounted. Exactly.

This pretty much summarizes the cause of all sorts of disorders, illnesses, etc. Hell, it’s the reason of everything that’s wrong with the world.

People have no idea the kind of damage they do to children if they don’t take them serious. People don’t think about the consequences. All they do is express their own frustration and dissatisfaction. On an innocent child.

I can’t stand people that blindly follow the words of some crazy priest, doctor, whatever. They tell you you’re evil, actually they are evil for confusing you. They are evil for trying to manipulate you.

If there is a God I’m sure he’ll be pissed off at everyone using his ‘gift’ to manipulate others into following them.


What memories stir reading your post! It wasn’t so much me though I was, it was mostly my daughters. The adults would turn their heads while their children beat my youngest daughter. I would be furious and confront the adults. I was told that they would look into it. Then it would happen again. Over and over. I couldn’t leave it was my ex-husbands church. My daughters would beg me not to say anything because the abuse would be worse. When I took my kids out and told the ex we were never going back I was accused of being possesed with evil spirits. I have always talked with my hands you know emphsising when you want to get a point across. I was told that was a clear indication of evil spirits. I was so beaten down I couldn’t protect my kids! Once I got into counseling and became stronger I got the hell out of there and yes I just said HELL!


You just described my life; my father physically, emotionally and mentally abused me up to and beyond his death. He was a priest. But after he finished preaching love and compassion it was difficult to find any of that after church, when any excuse would help him get his rocks off though physical violence, or emotional torture. The first time I ran away from home, I went to a lady who had just started to attend our church. I had been out with my friends for the first time at a party and stayed out so late that I knew without a doubt that I would be beaten upon my return. I grew terribly afraid and decided to leave home, I went to this lady because she always struck me as kind and understanding. I stayed the day with her and she rang my dad, and with a friend in tow, took me home. I was 15 or 16 at the time. By the time I had got home I had been awake for 24hrs.

That evening they had a prayer service in our house, as they were praying one of them got it in her head that that there were dwarves walking around me, in African culture, that basically meant demons. In the madness that ensued I was abused, that’s the only thing that can describe what happened, they stayed on me for a couple of hours, there was no way out, I was trapped. In the end the woman said if I couldn’t pray then that was confirmation that I really was possessed. Looking back at that moment as an adult I can say the pressure was enormous for such a young person. So I really did pray, I wailed, I called out to God, I asked Him to stop this insane situation. Seconds after I finished, the tension, which you could have cut with a knife just disappeared. Puff! Just like that! and my father suddenly softened and allowed me to go to bed. Guess there is a God.

Thank you for your work it brings comfort in the every present darkness. Two years ago, perfectly maintained illusions were ripped apart by a dormant PTSD due to my father’s death, who displayed a new level of vindictiveness when he disinherited me. After I buried him my mind cracked, my health deteriorated, to the point where I could no longer work. Not being supported by the State because no one believes me. Have only just worked out it is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This site gives me the vocabulary, and the understanding and compassion of someone who could only know these things if she had gone through themselves.

Many thanks from the heart.


I was that child too.

I was told it was evil to speak about my parents, my family, that they were “pillars of the community and couldn’t possibly do anything like that”.

I was discounted, told I was wrong and evil and should “respect them not talk bad about them”.

As an adult I’ve been told so much – I don’t have enough faith, I should be over it by now, I should just forget about it, I am unforgiving and bitter for being estranged from my family and not seeking reconciliation. Judged and labelled as “I’m the one at fault, I’m incapable and so on and I should snap out of it, grow up, get over it and get on with life.” Then I feel even worse when I try all the things suggested and get no better and cannot conform and continue to struggle and hurt.

It shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that I have mega huge issues with “the church”.


my article is nearly ready; I have to clean it up a little, then I will send it to you, Darlene, that ok?


Due to our recent communication, you know that many of us were psychologically, emotionally and spiritually abused as young children. We were taught to fear a punishing God, who was there to judge our every wrong doing and send us to hell if we should die with a sin on our soul. Although, I know that the church has taken some responsibility for the sexual abuse sandals that have rocked both Canada and the USA, I do not believe that they have taken full responsibility when it comes to the errors in their teaching of the religious man-made rules that left so many of us scarred.

After suffering from a major depression in my early thirties, which left me full of despair and confusion, I was forced to look at what caused me to be in such a state. So much of the fear, insecurity, and depression I was facing had to do with my religious hangups. I never recall being told about God’s infinite love and mercy and it took this major crash in my life, to discover what He is really all about.

As you know, I have written two self-help books explaining my situation and how I eventually healed. On the back cover of my second book I state, “I never knew the meaning of faith until I was so filled with fear. It was then that God reached out His hand and saved me from the depths of despair.” It got to the point in my life that I was so filled with fear that I could no longer function. At that point, I didn’t know how I was ever going to survive, but I did. I lost my mental health, my teaching career, and the support of many family members and friends. If it wasn’t for my husband I don’t think I could have pulled through. I thank God for that and for the inspiration to have the courage to share my story! Dolores


Hi Prozac Blogger
I agree ~ very very often it all starts when we are discounted and not heard as children. Thank you for your contribution.
Hugs, Darlene

Hi Kia,
Yes, this is what I am talking about. That is horrific! That kind of thing is so sick and no one seems to think about the resulting damage.
I don’t even know what to say but I am so grateful for your share today. Thank you for your encouragement also!
Hugs, Darlene

Hi Renee
Happy Birthday by the way!!
Yes… there are many ways that children are discounted by adults, even at the hands of other children. Thank you for sharing this example. I am glad that you got stronger and escaped that sick church.
Hugs, Darlene


Hi Fi
This is a great example of what I am talking about ~ you were taught/ told that it was evil to speak about your parents etc. and you were taught that EVIL was the worst thing you could be. And you were likely taught what happens to EVIL people. SO.. this kind of teaching leads NO WHERE good. And then you go on to show how the abuse continues; that you were told you didn’t have enough faith ~ indicating that any problems that you have are STILL your fault. This makes me SICK… (I wish I had graphics to express myself here… I am so angry about this stuff)
This is exactly what I am talking about Fi. This is so WRONG that this happened to you and that it happens to children every day.
Thanks so much
Hugs, Darlene.

p.s. everyone ~ stay tuned ~ Fi will be sharing her own story of spiritual and church abuse here on my blog as part of this series.


No worries, just email me when you are done.
Thanks, Darlene

Hi Dolores,
I think that the teaching “do not bring shame on the church” plays a very big role in the church not wanting to take responsibility for what is leaders have done and are doing.
In my case, my parents damaged me more then the church did, (although I faced spiritual abuse as an adult) but my kids went to a very damaging Christian school so I know how bad it can be first hand that way towards children.
Thank for sharing a bit of your story here today;
Hugs, Darlene


Dear Darlene..

What I feel about all this .. this awful guilt the church puts on the shoulders of those who come in desperation .. in the last grasping out for help.. shamed. .belittled..worthless . shocked.. scarred.. abandoned..alone.

When I was 6.. and was so badly hurt by my abusers from the family. .I took my hurt to the church because I thought surely God who was All Powerful and His people would put a stop to this. Surely .. they can do something. .step in.. stop the hurt. .stop me from having to cry and be afraid..

I wasnt even old enough to sin .or confess but by time I was done talking to the person of God i was told i was displeasing to God.. that I SHOULD BE ASHAMED.. that i was to go kneel down and ask God forgiveness that I am exposing my family to such shame. by bringing such stories to church.

I was shaking .. and shy . .that I had the courage to tell a priest. who I thought was way up there with God was a miracle..Me . shy little me. who never talks is talking to the mighty priest..telling him the pain that happened to me in the night. .that bad things scary things were being done to me. not just beatings but scary sexual devil things were being done.

The priest in the name of the church told me God was angry at me . I should be ashame. 6 year old me ashamed of not keeping all that hurt silent..

Not only did he say i should be ashamed he told my mom about it and I was so beaten that I wished the angels would come take me to heaven. but I know God would just put me out for telling the family secrets. So I believed in my little girl.mind.

I grew up feeling worthless .. invaluable.. not a person. just a thing to be hurt over and over as often as mom pleased and no one would ever stop her. .as God said it was ok..

That is how I saw it..

After i left and carried my secret .. i resolved to keep everything silent .never ever to displease God that way again. I would try to be a saint

Yet with all that. everything I did always had a hurt me doing it. I always struggled in life. Never wanted to mingle with others because i felt unworhty not as good as others.. because.. way back when I was 6 a priest told me I should be ashamed and God was displeased.

I did lots of penance but somehow it never registered in my mind that perhaps I suffered enough for my sin of tattling to the church my hurts..

In 2009 when I was needing help I turn to the church again to tell them I was being abused again .. thinking the “new church” would be different . This church I gave many years of free service. surely they would help me escape my monster..

But no. the priests response “you got yourself in that mess, get yourself out”

That was it. I was convince . I was rejected by the faith i lived all my life . . that i kept silent for . slaved for. . .worked for without taking a penny..

So here in 2011 am scarred from all that spiritual abuse from people who preach love and mission and doing the right thing . .its all so nonsense to me. . now.

I know am told by those who see me am going to Hell . and I think if I am . wonder what the place is called where they are going.



Hi Joy
What happened to you was terrible. That was such terrible abuse and really wrong of that priest to say that to you. How could any of that be true? Who would ever want to worship a God who wanted us to live like that? Why would anyone want to follow that kind of God? This is really disgusting that you were told that. Thank you so much for your courage in talking about it now, so that you can get it out, look at it and realize all the lies and the damage that they all resulted in ~ in your life.
Hugs, Darlene


Hello Darlene

What was done then by the priest seems to have affected me so much .. being taught forever and even in my classes that they represent god are other christs’ alter cristus.. just makes me wonder.. I had lost so much .. of my life ..I think if the priest would have done what he should have . .I would have seen life so much more differently but faith ..religion.. the whole sham . .was something my mom kept all around . .to hide what was really happening in our house..

At church she was so holy. we had to be just right ..had to be the ones who volunteered. and that created a front .. a cover up. .who would ever imagine . that that family had such abuse happening. no one would

NOw i can’t stand all the loud preaching or bible quoting or showy stuff.. none of that is guarantee of holiness. .I know this too well



HI I just posted this on my main facebook page. I have an internationally known pastor on my page. I know him personally from years ago. It was his brother who died recently a possible suicide. He is not like his brother lets just say and may need some healing. I think his brothers death shook him. Thanks for posting it it is thought provoking. You never know who might see it and decide they need to change for the better!


Thank you!
To all of you that wished me a happy birthday and all of you that wish you could but just cant take that step of writing on this board. Thank you!

I want to say something about Religious Abuse. My girls and I all suffered from this abuse. Those people thought and probably still think they were right in doing what they did. I put my Faith in God and beleive they will suffer for what they all did. Just as I will face God for any thing I have done. ACCOUNTABILITY we are all subject to it and NO one will escape it. I have always had the faith that as long as I and Jesus were all good that is what counts. I had to let all the abuse we suffered and give it to the Lamb of God and walk away. In doing so I was free and I felt a hugh burden lifted. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t wake up one day and say “gee Lord I don’t want to carry this any more you take it”.NOOOOOOO it took me years to give him the abuse, anger,the why?, everything! It was as hard as excepting I was innocent of all the sexual and incest abuse I suffered. I think it may have been harder because God can’t be seen and you can’t e-mail him or write a letter. I had to overcome it so I could be free from those abusers and I didn’t want them to continue to contaminate my inner spirit with the anger and hatred. They disguised the anger and hatred with Gods word. Wolf in lambs clothing.


Darlene, The titles Pastor, Priest, Minister, “servant of God” doesn’t make someone a servant of God. Someone who does the things you desribe is serving themselves and their ambitions at the expense of others, even the most helpless amoung us. Spiritual abusers are just abusive people like other abusers. They don’t have special powers just because they say they are of God. Even in the Bible, the church was a confusing place. Churches are full of sinful people just like the rest of the world. I believe that it is superstition and mysticism that locks people under the control of these kind of abusers. The only way to stop it is for people to see these people as they are, just as human beings capable of any evil action at any given moment. I have never read in the Bible where it says to trust the church so I don’t. My trust in is God and I watch these guys like a hawk.


Yes, Pam,
this is what I am saying, but deeper than that is when a child is taught to trust, to comply and to believe everything authorities teach them, it isn’t so easy to undo that teaching. Whatever is taught to a kid over and over needs to be carefully looked at by the adult grown up kid before it can just be dismissed as a lie. The belief system doesn’t just change beliefs overnight. SO.. we can tell people that they were wrong, but it takes time and processing to really “believe” that these authorities are not men of god as they claim to be. This is the root of the whole problem. That were were SO convinced that these adults were acting on behalf of God, or for our own good, and that we were the ones who were wrong. It took me several years to realize that the adults in my life (most of them) never acted on my best interest at all and it took a few years to uproot and replace the belief that they did and that something was wrong with ME.
Thanks for sharing.

Everyone ~ Pam is guest posting tomorrow. Her post explains the profile of a spiritual abuser, (what to watch out for) and it is really good!
Hugs, Darlene


Darlene, thanks for describing spiritual/religious abuse in clear terms. Sometimes the definition is ambiguous, so victims would never know that they suffered this type of abuse. Also, spiritual/religious abuse takes from us innate instinct, because we are so programmed to believe as we are told, whether or not what we are being taught sits right within us.


priests, nuns also played their part in abusing me during my childhood, never realised it had this separate label. I have fragments of memory to do with clergy too awful to describe here. But no wonder I have had so much pain and confusion. Like you say as a child you simply and innocently believe all you are told from adults. It takes along time to unravel and accept how these people in trusted positions can be so devious and damaging to an innocent child. And how they can fool people for so long. Everything I believed has had to be reassessed in order to protect myself I believed until I was 39 that all authority figures were truthful people, until I began to recover and see the world through older more mature eyes.
thank you for this post.


Hi Darlene, I had no religeous or spiritual training as a child so what you are describing is outside of my personal experience. The spiritual abuse I suffered personally was through controling individuals. My oldest son experienced the institutionalized form at Bible College. He handled it well, even by getting a restraining order put on an aid that was harrasing him. Still, it hurt him inside and he wants nothing to do with organized religeon. The youngest was very smart and started college at 16. He didn’t fit though and a group of young adults who were involved in Satanism took advantage of him. He was also spiritually abused. It breaks my heart as my faith is such a joy and strength for me, I am sad that my children’s spiritual beliefs were tainted by controling mainiacs. I don’t know how to fight it other than to live my life as truthfully and lovingly as possible and continue to speak the truth and tell them or anyone who has been hurt the way they have been hurt that just because someone claims to be something special, it doesn’t mean they are. There aren’t any special people who prayers are heard above all others. We are all equal before God. The only man who was also God is Jesus. Anyway…this is a subject that makes me sad and frustrates me. Bad people are just bad people no matter what they say they are and it is a travesty to allow them to come between us and God or to be made afraid to tell of the good things God does in our lives for fear of hurting someone who has been hurt by these con artists.I just refuse to change my life in any way because of them…


What they mean about hell, in reality is this: you are already in the hell that they have created. The next life will be Heaven. They focus on hell so much, funny thing is that they are focusing on their own natures.


Hi Kate,

I would say as bad and terrible as i have felt and of all that I have been through, I would say I have had something of hell here. but I don’t know. .. I can only imagine. I so hope that there is something much more peaceful more beautiful waiting.

Learning to walk between the raindrops right now.



Spiritual abuse that causes you to lose your faith in God, to me, is the worst abuse that someone can do to a child or adult.


I have come to view hell this way. The hell that abusers make for the rest of us is the actualhell and God is delivering us from that.


Patricia, I agree. It is every bit as much personal destruction as sexual abuse. The same trampling of a sacred boundary.


HI Kate,

I do believe many make our life a hell here on this earth; just don’t know what I believe about hell right now . I know there must be a place where bad folks go . .or maybe they simply go no where. I don’t know



wow! I’m in a painful haze now. I’ve had all that. I grew up being told that I had an evil spirit in me. I had “hands laid on me to cast the evil spirit out”. My sis and I were talking tonight and I don’t cry easily. I think some of that may be because I couldn’t show emotion and because so much happened at so young an age that I went numb – I couldn’t process it. showing emotion was not an option. I was told the way to heaven lay through my dad. That God could not speak to me, other than through my abusers. Sometimes I ask my foster dad or my pastor why they don’t get mad at me or whip me. I think that might almost be easier for me than the understanding and kindness they show me. I don’t know what to do with it. Three years later and I still don’t know what to do with it. I got so much. I am on meds for depression that my doctor says I have probably had since I was 14 or 15. I got anorexia when I was 16. I’m allergic to tomatoes and gluten. I know that some of that is because I was so stressed. Yet, what could I do? I had no contact with anybody outside my church. I too tried to talk to the pastor, nothing. He betrayed me, telling Kent all I said, even when he said that he wouldn’t.
What did it communicate to me? I was unworthy, not worth living, just a puppet to be used how they wanted. My childhood was gone. I asked to go outside the church for help and was told that the only “help” I needed was talking to my bio dad and submitting to the church. Kindness surprises me. Validation surprises me. I couldn’t trust those that I should have been able to trust. If they said that we could go to a cousin’s wedding I did not believe it till we were there. They would change their minds with a snap of the fingers. Probably not surprisingly I thought for a long time – and I still do at times – well, if that is who God is, I don’t want anything to do with him. I had no desire to have God in my life. I wanted to throw everything out.
To this day, I am one of the most watched people, I think. I literally have the ENTIRE Anabaptist culture watching me. I think there are at least 10,000 of them. All of them are waiting on me to make a mistake. There is to much pressure. Then I just want to be “bad” and “rebellious”. They want to make an example out of me of how if a person leaves the Anabaptists they automatically are going to “go off the deep end” – which in their culture has a different meaning than you would have. There is so much pressure. I don’t feel that I can handle that. I feel so much is placed on me. I’m tired. And now I am dealing with an addiction of my own. I hate it.
My bio mom told me that just going to college was going to make me get pregnant. I think it takes more than that. I don’t even want to care what they think. But I do care. I want so bad to have my mom in my life. But I couldn’t care less about Kent. Sometimes I don’t want to go to church, because it hurts to much. Is that ok?
I quit work for college. It hurts to leave the kids. I had let them become my reason for living. Now it is gone. Some of them cried when I left and wouldn’t stop clinging to me. I miss them.


I had hands laid on me to, They tried tricking me, they would turn around and say NO you can’t pray for people! I was not invited to bible meetings, or teas or adult socials. My ex was but not me. People get that God complex and think they are the favored ones. When I stood up for my girls and said that the only person that could give my girls a spanking was me, I was told I was a poor excuse for a Christian example and they went to my ex for permission. Everything hit the fan!! I would not allow anyone to spank them. I fought and wouldn’t back down. They all watched me to and for a while I was paranoid. Then when I got into counseling I got stronger and left their hypacritical, lying, abusive church of hell. Im happier for it and keep my relationship between Jesus and myself. I get defensive when people get inquisitive about my relationship with God. It’s nobodies business but mine.


Gosh, I was told I was not allowed to pray for anyone too. Although I was PA to the pastoral co-ordinator and wore a pastoral team badge on Sunday mornings I was not allowed to pray for anyone or be pastoral towards anyone in any way, I had to pass them on to someone more spiritual than me. I was watched at every worship meeting, my prayers were analysed at prayer meetings, I was constantly told I was failing as a Christian because of the pain and depression in my life and obvious damage to my life. I was never invited out to lunch or to socials. I had hands laid on me, they tried to cast non existent demons out of me and when nothing happened accused me of not co-operating with them. What I needed was gentle acceptance not judgement, put down’s, accusations etc. That’s one reason I left the church. Such stuff is just as damaging as the original abuse.


That is exactly what happened to me! When God gave me a message for the church I was shuned and asked not to say anything or go through someone more spiritual!!! I could not listen to them because I felt it would be disobediant to God so I would stand up and say what I felt God wanted me to say….Everything I said came to pass! 100% of Gods messages came true. I felt only sadness for them, they thought they were Gods chosen.


I can sum it up in one word Darlene……M.O.N.E.Y!

Yes, MONEY. These so-called servants of God uphold and support the adults who contribute to their churches and vilify and literally demonize their children. As the Book of James says,

Jam 3:10 “Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.”

What a tragedy for abused children. What a disgrace!


Renee, Good for you!


Hi Lynn
The “programming” is the root of the problem, yes. In all recovery from abuse, it is in finding out how I was “programmed” that I found the keys to freedom. (so trusting God becomes very very difficult and wasn’t the answer for a long time because it is what I learned about him that STILL got in the way)
Thanks for sharing.

Hi Beverly
YES! That was what I found out too. I call what you are describing as “coming out of the fog”. Realizing what “really” happened to me.
Thanks for sharing!

I don’t see this problem as separate from any other problem ~ I see it as one more in a long line of being devalued. Spiritual abuse wasn’t really a huge thing for me either growing up although it was everywhere around me, so it did touch my life. And then as an adult it really touched my life as I returned to church when I had my first child. For me there was a bottom line that i had to look at and this is what I am talking about in ALL my posts. ~ the foundation of belief is about what MAN taught me. It is about what I was taught about life, about ME, and how the world worked. This subject is just one more area that gets taught wrong. I just use different examples (such as spiritual abuse) to break through the fog.
Hugs, Darlene


Sorry! That made me sound pious! I only wanted to do what God wanted me to do. In no way have I ever felt I was a “chosen one”. I am sorry if it sounded that way. I had a child like faith and only wanted to be obediant toward God.


Hi Kia,
Thank you for sharing such a profound example of exactly what I am talking about.
Instead of answering your question “is it okay not to go to church” I will ask you this: Why would it NOT be okay? What would happen if you don’t go? I had to look at my reasons for going to church. I had to look at my reasons for everything I was doing if I didn’t really “want” to do it. I had learned to put everything through a grid of “what do they want me to do or expect me to do” instead of what was right for me to do and I had to learn a new way to look at things. I got my life back by doing that.
Thank you so much for sharing,
Hugs, Darlene

Hi Fi
Exactly… yes this is what i am talking about. Being told that you are failing as a Christian, that makes me see red. That is exactly how they get people to TRY harder ~ blaming the victim again; saying that if you struggle in life, you don’t have enough faith… never teaching the truth, or even HOW to get faith or how faith works, or HOW any of it works… and it disgusts me. NO acceptance, grace of love that they spew and teach the bible says but they rarely model… ugggg
Thanks for sharing that,


YES!!! A thousand times YES it is ok if you don’t go to church or ANYWHERE that makes you uncomfortable. I dont’ go either.


A church I was in asked for the congragation to write letters to the elders about what we thought Jesus would say if he visited our church. I spent days writing mine. I was still brainwashed and still in the fog, but I had some great points… and I heard about my letter all over! They thought there must have been a crazy person in the church! LOL I had all the bible vs. in the letter to back up what I said… but wow, what a reaction I got. I wonder what they would think of my blog!!!

Hi Peacekeeper
Yes… lots of it has to do with Money, and all of it is about the lust for power and the misuse of power and control
Thanks for sharing,
Hugs, Darlene


I had an abusive husband for many years and we moved a lot. In a new church, I contacted the pastor a few times by phone with concerns regarding the abuse. He told me not to call him every again. Then as if he literaly took notes on our conversation,he preached an entire “off-topic” sermon for an hour on this conversation. No one knew this but me, of course. He said things to argue with what I had told him and disagree with me from the pulpit. Russian Roullette in that place, no one new who would be that week’s target from the pastor. Then the pastor sat across from me at the mandatory potluck afterwards and talked to me to get in my face to read my body language/response to his pulpit abuse. As I heard this sermon, I told myself that this would be the LAST time I ever entered this church. And it was. I knew that leaving after joining whould get us excommunicated; I just didn’t know that it would take 24 months and harrassment by mail and pulpit (praying for our family).

I don’t do well in church settings, I stayed in a church until about 2 years ago. I put a sign on my front door, “No religious solicitors”. I stayed in a church until I saw how much of my energy it took, and as a single mom with four, it was WAY too much. When I saw how my kids were hurt by the church, then THAT was it. I am finally free. And I don’t look back.


Renee, I didn’t think you sounded pious. I’m just glad you did what God wanted you to do despite the snobbish way you were being treated.


Here we are writing what happened to us in our churches, and it floors me actually im getting mad! All of us as children have been abused as children in the most vial ways possible. Now we are talking as adults and we are recounting our memories of religious abuse. Where do these people get off thinking it is ok to abuse us some more? We are locked into the age the abuse happened so emotionally we are still children. I know I am struggeling with my girls, one is in tears one is pissed and I just want to come face to face with these evil people and call them out for the horrible people they are! GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!


Hi Renee
It is all about keeping us in the trap. And all abuse works this way ~ if we escape and get away, we can talk about it. If we realize that what “they” are doing is wrong, we can expose it. SO, in order to keep their control and keep this crap a secret, they have to keep all victims of this stuff, quiet! they have to keep them in the spin of believing that it isn’t the leaders, adults or organization that are wrong but that it is “you”. It is resistance to the “truth” which is a lie. It is rebellion and a rebellious spirit. That is what they try to say. But really it is that they don’t want to be in any kind of equal value position because if they were, they would not be “special and all powerful” anymore. They would no longer be “god” in your life or mine. They can’t stand that idea.
Hugs, Darlene


I went to the library today to get the book Emotional Vampires, and there by that area of books was a live demonstration of emotional and verbal abuse! Problem is that it wasn’t attracting people to that book shelf for help.

A young man, scrawny, and withdrawn being loudly berated by an obvious druggie, sickening the atmosphere with heavy stench of stale alcohol, a guy in his 40’s. Seemed likely to me that he is a sexual predator as well in this relationship.
He was loud and loving doing this to the younger man in public, accusing him of several things, none of which matter, several things that just go round like a merry-go-round, until the young man, who insisted that the predator’s dogs were not HIS own dogs, but belonged to the predator, finally asked when they were going to go feed the dogs. And it is amazing to realized that the predator KNEW he could manipulate through several subjects and create so much confusion that the young guy would finally succumb to taking care of the dogs, of which, I believe, he is afraid. The predator was telling the young man that he was worthless and it is no wonder his parents couldn’t stand him, and he doesn’t have any friends, and then the predator said that everyone loves HIM and respects HIM, and the young man said, “Everyone hates you, Alan, because you are arrogant and a prick.” By that time I was standing near the young man behind a bookshelf, where the predator couldn’t see me. I began smiling broadly and shaking my head, like, “Yeah, you tell him.” And he did tell him several times that everyone hates him because he is arrogant and a prick. So, I wonder at the timeframe and likelihood of the young man finally realizing that he has choices, and doesn’t have to stay with a man that is arrogant, that is a prick, and that is hated by everyone??

A more intense, obvious, version of abuse, but the elements remind me of religious settings and other settings in which I have been.


This abuse you speak of is TERRIBLE & I hurt when I hear that it happens. My husband is a minister & I need to speak up in defense of all people in positions of ministry that are NOT doing this. In fact at our church our biggest emphasis of ministry is to the children of our community. We run a children’s club every Monday night that brings in an incredible 65% of the elementary school population. Amazing~! EVERY adult worker is screened & submits to a full background check. I can truly say that in this corner of the world we LOVE the kids & would never strong-arm them in this way. I am sorry for anybody who is subjected to this type of abuse. There is NEVER an excuse or reason for this! If they could truly be offered real grace, as is spoken of in the Bible, it would lead to healing. Thanks ~Terri


Hi Terri,
Thanks for your comments. I know that not all the world is evil and that not all leaders or ministers ARE bad! I know that some of them certainly have the calling and are wonderful people. I think that all my readers know this too. This post is just one example of the things that happen in the world that cause damage to children and then those children grow up and are not helped to get over the depressions etc. that so often manifest when children are devalued. There is good and bad everywhere. We just happen to be talking about the “bad” and how to overcome it now. (personally) I wish that everyone could be offered real grace too… and I am glad to hear that at least where you are, kids are valued.
Thanks for posting!
Hugs, Darlene


Hi Everyone~
I just published the next post in this series. Pam is guest posting on EFB today about how to recognize the Profile of a Spiritual abuser.
You can read it here ~ : The profile of a Spiritual Abuser


It’s not only when you are a child that its devistating to not be validated, but to have had a pastor tell you as an adult, that you were lying, is just as upsetting. I went to a pastor who was trained to also counsel people, and was told that I was making it up. How’s that one!! I was seeking counseling and instead was slapped in the face.!


I beleive you are right. Grace should be show, is it the same grace that is shown to each abused child that goes to a supposedly trust man and women of faith? Is it the same grace that is shown to the abused and neglected child that took a hugh step and knowingly jeperdized their safety to come out of the closet and is called a liar? Or is it the same grace that a secret child abuser goes to the pastor and says “sir Ive done some bad things in my life that I can’t speak of, but I would like prayer and your grace your offering”, then receives it!
I truely get what you are saying because after leaving my ex husbands church we went to a church that was just as you speak of. In fact they took my ex a side and the pastor told him if he doesn’t stop abusing his wife and step-daughters they were going to turn him into social services!! This religious jerk went belistic! He told the pastor he was backed by scripture and the pastor said nothing you are doing is of God! That church worked very closely with social services and in fact was an outlet for them in placing foster children. It was the only church I have ever know to have such high standards for their church family and everyone was treated that way. So yes Terri there really are safe churches and pastors it’s just that they are fewer of them than the dangerous ones that think they are perfect.


Hi LeeAnne
I know that this happens also and it happens a lot! It sickens me. I can’t tell you how many times that women have told me the pastor told them it was their fault their husbands were having affiars, or beating them. This is so crazy! One of the things that I learned is that not all professionals with training are any good at what they do. The degree (if they have one, some don’t but just present as though they do) doesn’t make them right. I have no respect for people in the “helping profession” who only make things worse.
Thanks for sharing. You are not alone!
Hugs, Darlene


What I have found with pastors who do counseling is the ones who tell girls/women they are at fault or that they just need to go home and try harder to get along with their abusers, have problems in their own lives and hearts with being abusive. This makes me sick, too.


Hi Peaceseeker
Yes, I have found that too. Makes me sick too. I am so glad that I also learned that when people tell me to try harder, that they are invalidating me just like the ones that I had the original problems with. The statements they make may come from their own brokeness, but I don’t have agree anymore. (and I don’t seek guidance from those types anymore either) Thanks for sharing!
Hugs, Darlene


Thank you for sticking up for the ones who don’t. I know they are there; I have one in my life who is great. But for me it is hard to believe that there are men/ pastors who are good and don’t abuse, because for the first 18 years of my life I have only known men and pastors who abuse. I’ve been out for almost 3 years now and I’m glad. It was good for me to have it reaffirmed again that there are men/pastors around who don’t abuse. So I just wanted to thank you for that.. Also thank you for taking care of the children in your corner of the world. They are so precious.


This is a big one for me.

I was raised in a very conservative fundamentalist church and was raised to be compliant and obedient. I wasn’t very compliant or obedient, but I had in my mind and in my life always reminders of how far I fell short in every way. So even though I didn’t ‘measure up’, I still had these standards that I fell ‘short’ of all my life.

I used that to punish myself all my life for not being good enough- even more- for not BEING enough.

Even after I left the church and my remaining family left me, I still carried these messages with me.

Working all the way down to the core, I found out that I really didn’t believe I was enough. I had been brainwashed to believe I was flawed, hopeless, and not worth the effort to help myself-

Because my parents didn’t take me to bars, or have loud drunken rages, or beat me on a regular basis, or scream and yell at me all the times it was hard to look back and see the more subtle messages that I was worthless.

I realize that the people around me used God and obedience to control me. On the other hand my father was not a member of the church, and he was an example of what NOT to be, and I didn’t want to be like him, because I didn’t want to be ostracized.

So I couldn’t live up to the standards set out for me, and if I didn’t, I would be treated and scapegoated like my dad. Not so good choices. I bounced back and forth for years trying to be compliant, and then rebelling. It sapped all my energy for decades. The messages I lived were confusing. I was confused… I felt like I had no other alternatives to live in the situation I was in. I ‘needed’ the approval and support of others but I never had either in an authentic way. In the end I was just angry.

I went to a 12 step program, which taught me to look for MY part in everything that had happened. There was plenty of good material tere to beat myself up for years. I was still trying to ‘get it right’ and be good enough and have a place to BE accepted.

I went back to the church, I went to 12 step groups, I was a ‘good daughter, mom, and sister’ and it nearly killed me. No one- no one approved of me, anywhere. lol.

I finally was too weak to get out and off the merry go round, and just shut down, marking time till I could ‘escape’. By then I was on disability because I simply could function well on a day to day basis.That brought me even more disapproval and shame from others around me.When I tried to assert myself, and pull away from my family there were always people around me who pulled my child back in. I finally felt either my child was going to be torn in two if I continued to buck my family/mother because she and others would manipulate everytime I tried to either get us into another church or go to church less often, or even try to get her into another school.

And, like I have read here and elsewhere, the more compliant I tried to be the worse I was treated, and the less compliant I was, the worse I was treated in a more obvious way.

It all came to a acreecing alt when my mother died, and my child turned 18. Suddenly everyone left my life, and here I was shredded, and totally worn out, almost nonfunctional, going ‘what happened?’.

Looking back I see I was doing alot of things right, but the ‘price’ of my independence, apparently was ‘giving’ my mother and the church my child.When I didn’t fully cooperate there was all kinds of turmoil behind the scenes among family and friends.

My own sister had left the church,(but was a rabid member of another church just as crazy), lived her own life in another town but she left the care of the last 10 years of my mother’s life to me, and never once offered her help support or assistance.Even when my daughter and I were stalked by a male ‘friend’ of my mother’s, my sister refused to let us stay with her, and have a safe place to stay until we could establish a life away from the area. I was lied to, manipulated, and my daughter jerked around for years. We ran around like rats in a wheel.

After my mother died I found out my sister had convinced my mother to take my name off of her life insurance, leaving only her name on it. I did get some inheritence but I also had to take on every single task of settling things after mom died, going through her things etc. on top of starting a new life; still on disability, totally worn out from the previous decade of insanity.

Its taken three years just to recover a sense of some sort of peace and safety. Now that I have nothing anyone wants, we are left alone. Its been a blessing and a curse in a way. I know what the meaning of the term ‘left to die’ means, and it is from my own family. I feel like I stretched myself to the limit for years just to survive and to do the things that needed to be done, and then was kicked in a final huge kick – to the curb.

I have no use for the church people I encounter occasionally, and no good words for my sister or her grown daughter, who have never even bothered to call and say, ‘how are you doing?’

I get a birthday card and a Christmas card every year from my sister. Nothing from my niece. They live two hours away.

Giving up on the idea that I might ever be heard was hard. When I realized that I WAS heard, but it was just that it didn’t matter, I really went through some anger. Now I feel I sacrificed so much for absolutely nothing. I feel as if I had lived a big joke- I was controlled for years, made to jump through hoops, live in fear and turmoil with no escape, for what?

I doubt I will ever ever enter another church again. I doubt I will ever willingly see any of the people I used to know- family friends, or church people.


I am soooo sorry that you went through all that. I’m guessing i’m a lot younger than you but the church my bio parents go to is the same way. I got a lot of crap for not complying to thier thinking. And really I had it spiritually and in all the subtle ways you mentioned. I have no desire to ever see a lot of those people ever again either. And that is ok. Martha, it is OK. They hurt you. Let yourself heal without making an effort to see them. All they would/will do is continue digging at you and hurting you.
I care and i’m sorry you faced that. It is awful how other people hurt you and probably all in the name of Jesus.


Hi Martha,
What you have shared is a complete “in a nutshell” story of what really happens. This really is what we are dealing with. I can relate to your story. For me, I had to look at those expectations that others had of me and the ones I then learned to have of myself, and decided how real and true and right they were. All my not good enough stuff and not enough stuff was assigned to me for the purpose of how compliant and controllable that I was. I changed inside of me when I saw the truth. You wrote “the more compliant I tried to be the worse I was treated, and the less compliant I was, the worse I was treated in a more obvious way”. and that is how it was for me too. My family did not respond to my boundaries in a positive way, but other people do. It was like my family said “no you are not worth the effort” but I kept saying YES I AM. I built a new life but sometimes it is lonely and it still hurts that my family regarded me that way. None of this was easy. I hear your pain and I totally understand it. None of this is fun either, I know. I totally relate to your conclusion that you sacrificed so much for nothing… but on the other hand I have ME now. (and they had ME before) and the freedom is sweet.
Thanks for sharing..
Hugs, Darlene


Wow. What an eye-opener. Some horrible experiences with my Pastor and his wife left me in a tale-spin for months and I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t get over it. Now I understand that it was abuse. Honestly, I didn’t want to believe it. When I first came to this site yesterday I ignored the articles on spiritual abuse because I didn’t believe it applied to me. My pastor and his wife were good people, right?

But I finally made myself read this and it has really set me free. After really taking in this information and seeing my own situation spelled out in black and white, I couldn’t deny what they had done to me. *I* was not heard, not believed and not helped. They told me that if I didn’t contact my abusive mother that God would not be pleased. As I continued to think about it, I realized that I was protecting these people and making excuses for them in my mind the way I used to for my abusive family. I was accepting responsibility for the way they made me feel, subconsciously thinking that my reaction to their behavior was my fault,like I was just taking it the wrong way. But when I began to be honest with myself and admitted that these religious leaders abused me, I felt the ever present tightness in my chest ease. I see now that the panic attacks that I have been experiencing ever since these spiritually abusive experiences occured were coming from self condemnation and self imposed guilt over what *they* did, simply because I couldn’t believe they would be so evil as to abuse me. Last night I finally stopped trying to defend their character to myself. Their fruit speaks for itself. I see now that none of it was my fault…not the abuse I suffered from my family or the feelings that it caused, nor the abuse I suffered from my spiritual leaders or the feelings that it caused.

Thank you, Darlene, for hearing me. Not only do I have hope, but I have also begun to heal. Thank you for this website and thank you for your courage, understanding, and honesty. May God (the *real* God, not the fire breathing tyrant abusive people have made him out to be) bless you and keep you and cause his face to shine upon you and give you peace.


Hi Robin
I am really happy to hear that you had a positive experience reading something you were avoiding reading!
“Not heard, not believed and not helped” is pretty not nice!
Thank you so much for sharing Robin!
Hugs, Darlene


[…] a child, I was medically, emotionally, and spiritually neglected. I was psychologically and emotionally abused. I was given alcohol as medicine on a regular basis […]


There is a new post up about Spiritual and Church abuse. It is called Sexual abuse at the hands of a youth pastor by Shanyn Silinski

You can read it here ~


Yes I too was raised strict Catholic.
So many rules and obligations. Confession every week when
I had no sins to confess. I was 8. I made up sins to confess.
Thought I had to. How bad is that. The strict obedience and
compliance at home was further enforced in catholic grade school.
My dad was going to make good and sure I was beaten down
to only what he wanted. I would NEVER have told anyone about
my abuse at home. My fathers rage would have been unspeakable.
I feel the fear even now 50 years later. He was the perfect
Catholic in church then went home and beat his wife and terrorized
his children. Hes dead now. I can finally say Im glad without guilt.
He used church to control and punish me. I havent gone in 37 yrs.
I am learning all the ways my parents systematically destroyed me
and then blamed me. I am seeing the damage to me and who
caused it. It causes me to feel quite anxious and upset but I
think it is part of becoming aware of what was done to me.


Hi Karen
It is so very sad and tragic when this happens. The damage it causes is major and no small thing to overcome. Thank you for sharing this.
Hugs, Darlene


hi! there, I am a Pastor of the Seventh-day Adventist Church. I have been impressed with your story Joy. yes Joy, that is exactly call a spiritual abuse. I had a story like your story but in a different way. I was joined a sunday church call LMS Church. when I was a kid. going to church was nightmare to me, very scary. I didn’t learnd anything about God since I went to church every sunday service. The children have to sit right infront with one deacon sitting between us with his long stick. If we making any move he has to hit us with his stick, even if I scratch my head he still hit my head. If this man hit my head, I have to look around if my dad is watching. If I get caught from my dad’s eyes; then I will know what is going to happen to me when we get home. my dad will hit me harder with his belt. I grew up with this kind of church attitude. we have to come to a pastor or reverent’s house to learn how to read a Bible. If I pronounce any word wrong from the Bible. The pastor will so angry and said I am a little imp or evil and he has to beated me so padly infront of other kids. and when I went home, I have to hide all these bruises from my dad. if he knew that I got beated by pastor then poor me will get more bruises. However, I grew up with hatred in my heart going to church. When I turn to 15 yrs of age I change my religion from sunday church to Saturday Church which is call Seventh-day Adventist Church. where I found no more deacon sitting with a stick and pastor was so nice. he always listen to our story when we share to him. he always care for young people. and he love to tell stories to children. and now i become a pastor trying to bread down the wall bricks of stopping children from telling their hurts and their stories.

My first case since I became pastor was 8 yrs old girl was sexual abuse by her step father. the girl went to their priest and asked for help, he ignore her and covered up her parent from ambarassing in church and the community. that is why she came to me for help. to cut the story short. her step father is now in the jail for doing that. I even talked to her mother about the matter and she understand to her daughter.
Joy God bless you.


Wondering if you have ever experienced family members using God or bible verses against you to manipulate you in order to control?


Yes, there are many example of that in this website. In fact even in the comments in this post there are examples of it.
There is a tag cloud at the bottom of the right side bar above; if you click on the words in blue “spiritual abuse” it will take you to other posts where spiritual abuse is discussed or mentioned.
hugs, Darlene


Hi Darlene! this is the kind of crap that I am unravelling right now. I can’t believe the layers of anger that I am still dealing with because of all this. I had to suppress everything I felt that I knew was wrong in order to cope or survive in my family.

I do understand my depression now, it was from having to stuff all my feelings because no one wanted to hear me. I learned that staying quiet keeps the harmony in the family. One can only hold this crap in for so long before it starts to show up with health issues or acting out. I didn’t realize how messed up I really was until I really started to receive the right resources to deal with this.

I’m starting to think in general that this world is not equipped to deal with the layers of abuse that are going on. I guess it’s easier to blame the victims and shove it under the carpet and hope it will all go away. That’s how I felt most of my life. Thank god I have the courage and strength to keep fighting for my own life.

I create my own ways to heal and give myself as much love as I possibly can. I have to admit I lost my social skills because of this crap. I see people in such a negative way and my ability to trust wavers. I don’t want to be this way and I’m doing my best to heal what ever comes up. There is such a fine line between victim and abusers because without help victims do become abusers and this has been my greatest fear. I know I have abused myself in countless ways because I modeled what I was taught. Having to also deal with, do I abuse others too because of the way I treat myself?, just opens up a whole new layer of hurt and disappointment.

I always thought I was a caring, sensitive person on the inside but I was made to feel weak for being this way. I want that part of me back and I just pray I can heal her into wholeness. I haven’t quite found that feeling of wholeness yet, it does come and go so I know it is possible. I still have some areas to develop and I trust in time I will get there.

You have no idea how much your web site has helped me deal with all this. There are not a lot of people who really get what is involved and that just adds to the feelings of hopelessness. Thank you so much for being my bright star to follow.

God bless you Darlene for all that you do. Namaste


This is my story.
I numb out when reading it. It is painful to see those words. To understand the impact in a new way. For me, spiritual abuse has been the most damaging. The body can heal. Adult relationships can be rewarding. But the spiritual realm…living under the umbrella of falsehood. Believing the spoken and unspoken messages taught from childhood on and continued to this day. It is very difficult to see things differently.


Reading your post was very difficult. It brought up a lot of memories stirring up things from the best that I wish could be forever forgotten. As a child, it never really got to the point of telling. I had already been taught my the religious authority that telling anything would send the native people to hell. It was selfish and against God to ever tell. I was silent. I endured. I was dead inside, but I made it out. Freedom outside of that world is still a bit elusive. The past holds on deeply.
I picture a story I once heard about a pet whose collar grew too small. Instead of removing it, his owners left it their and it grew imbedded into his body as his body grew around it. That is what I feel like. The future grew up around the pain and suffering from the past. It adequately covers the chains from view, but they are still there cutting into me.


Hi Sheri
Welcome to EFB ~ That teaching is interesting; it presume that GOD doesn’t know and telling ‘people’ is what would cause someone to be sent to hell… which is interesting because abusers want victims to worship them in the first place! Wow.
I like your example; that is exactly what it IS like. This website is all about how I overcame the past. I am glad that you are here.
hugs, Darlene


[…] Related Posts ~ Spiritual Abuse and the effects on us as Children […]

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