Beyond the Resignation Wall


Excerpt from A Clash of Kings, pg 97, by George R.R. Martin

“Sam squinted up at the Wall. It loomed above them, an icy cliff seven hundred feet high. Sometimes it seemed to Jon almost a living thing, with moods of its own. The color of the ice was wont to change with every shift of the light… The Wall stretched east and west as far as the eye could see, so huge that it shrunk the timbered keeps and stone towers of the castle to insignificance. It was the end of the world.

And we are going beyond it.”

In a previous post, I described the process of breaking through the walls that hold us back, how the light shines through the cracks and we can see the lies that these walls are whispering to us, the lies that keep us trapped inside.

There’s this one big wall that I keep coming up against time and time again. Sometimes I break through it. Other times, I give up. I peer beyond this wall. I know there’s so much to thrive in beyond it! It is a place full of opportunity, growth, joy. But when the lies start whispering it looks all the more unsafe, unfamiliar, there’s not as many people, there is too much to learn. When planning to pursue something new, I sometimes take a few steps in but then start believing (what I see now I’ve believed my whole life) that  because I  find this new thing so difficult, I just musn’t have what it takes to do it. I am incapable; I MUST just be inherently flawed.

This is such a painful lie to be stuck behind. My true heart says “I want to go beyond! That’s where all the good stuff is, the stuff I’ve dreamed about my whole life! I deserve to be there! I must be able to do it!” But the old rut says, “But it’s so hard. You’ll be uncomfortable. There’s pain to go through. People might think you’re crazy. You’ll mess up and look silly.”

The athletes in this year’s Olympics were champions against that lie (and YEAH Canada!!). A friend of mine pointed this out to me this week. They work and work and work towards a goal, going through all the ups and downs along the way. It’s no bed of roses; there’s no official place of “perfection”, of arrival. They embrace the journey and celebrate the progress towards or the achieving of their dreams.

So the simplest truth dawned on me. A thing won’t work unless I work it. Imagine a car sitting in your driveway. A person could look out there and say, “Hm, look at that car. It’s not driving; it’s just sitting there. It mustn’t work.” But… it’s plain that that’s not the whole truth! A thing won’t work unless I work it. A vehicle exists to serve me, but I have to drive it, get in and learn to work the controls, learn to keep moving forward. We work as a team.

In the world of thriving, there are many new things to actually put into practice, and I will fail from time to time. But my inexperience does not define my capability. It is simply inexperience, plain and simple. In the world of capability, I DO have what it takes to travel the path with all its ups and downs. Understanding this truth is totally freeing… The goals I envision for myself inspire hope in me again, and the resignation Wall loses its power.

6 response to "Beyond the Resignation Wall"

  1. By: Carla Dippel Posted: 1st March

    Thank you very much for visiting Marj! It’s a pleasure.

  2. By: Carla Dippel Posted: 28th February

    Thank you for sharing your insight Splinteredones~ I like the wave analogy too! You captured how strong the pull can be to stay in what is familiar and seeking after what is better brings us through all kinds of emotions and stages. I trust that we are worth the journey! I hope your waves continue to rise.

    Heidi~ thanks for visiting and leaving your thoughts! I’m glad mine left you encouraged. That my inexperience does not define my capability is a huge freedom truth for me! All the best to you.

    Love Carla

  3. By: Heidi Bryden Posted: 28th February

    I love your comment ” my inexperience does not define my capability”. So true. This truth is something we need to remember when taking on something new … embarking on a new journey.
    Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experiences.

  4. By: Splinteredones Posted: 28th February

    Love the sense of being ablf to stub toes and not have to reach this magical “healing” thing all at once in one perfect thought or motion or perfect..however we do it.

    We don’t see a wall. We are like little waves big waves ugly waves pretty waves…you get it…lapping on a sandy beach for the first time. God only knows how cool this island is and we so want to stay and explore it. But, we are still waves and it’s our nature to get sucked back out. In out in out. We are currently on a
    rising tide, so we go inland abi farther than we go back ou into the shit of our childhood that is the ocean
    (the Pacific for some reason). If we had a wall wd would never be able to get over it.

    Thanks for permission to not do it all perfectly and all
    at once. Quite the relief!

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