Dec
31

Welcoming a New Year of Emotional Healing

By

Emotional Healing, Abuse Recovery
another year bites the dust

Today is a new day and we are close to beginning a whole New Year! In the past I liked New Years because it always seemed like a new chance for a new beginning, but the past couple of “New Years” my thoughts are different; I thought that 2009 was the best year ever, and now I think 2010 was the best year ever so this year I am celebrating that I had a GREAT YEAR, and celebrating that I know 2011 is going to be the best year ever too. =) I am not thrilled to say good bye to 2010 but yet I’m super excited to welcome 2011.

Emerging from Broken was born out of my life long quest for recovery from depression, abuse,  (sexual abuse, physical abuse, psychological abuse, spiritual abuse) and from mental health struggles and from the resulting dissociative identity disorder and other coping methods that I had been using and trying to overcome my entire life.  I had been told that depression was not curable, only treatable. For some reason, I didn’t believe it. Both my mother and grandmother had suffered chronic depressions and my mother had prepared me for a lifetime of that struggle too, but I kept seeking a solution.  I remember this little flame of hope ~ this tiny voice within me that said “NO” I don’t believe that. I am SURE there is a cure ~ a permanent solution, a way to live in fullness in the way that I was sure we are meant to live ~ like a birthright. I almost gave up before I found it but I am happy to say that I persisted just long enough. (the key was in finding the truth)

To be more accurate, Emerging from Broken was born out of my victory over all those things. When I finally knew that I was free, that I had found a new way to deal with depressions, addictions and coping methods, I wanted to share the message of hope with you all.  I wanted to tell the world that healing and recovery is possible, freedom from depression in all its many forms, is possible, that living in fullness and purpose is really possible because I live there now. (the key was in finding the truth)

Recovery from abuse of any kind is a journey of many levels, twists and turns. There are hills, valleys, scary caves, dark forests, bright clearings, majestic mountains and dark creepy forests. There are rivers to be forged, and oceans to be crossed and there are peaceful ponds to rest by on lovely sunny days, after stormy nights filled with thunder and lightning. 

Today I like it all. I see the beauty in the journey. I see the progression to wholeness takes all of this and sometimes even more.  It takes willingness and courage. It takes determination and decision. It takes resolution, strength and stick-to-itiveness. It takes hope and belief.

I didn’t think I had any of those things! I didn’t think I had courage OR strength; I didn’t even think I had WORTH ~ but I did. I had all of them ~ some were weak and buried deep but they budded, blossomed and grew and they continue to grow and flourish as I keep going forward..  Deep down I had all these qualities and you have them too.  

So it is with excited anticipation that I say good bye to 2010 tonight and welcome 2011. I do things differently today; I live differently. I live in the truth. I like myself and I believe in myself. I am on the journey with myself and no longer dissociated and I am enjoying getting to know the real me. This is my hope for you too.

As I reflect back on the past year, and anticipate this New Year, I am grateful. I didn’t have community in the most difficult part of my journey and wished I had had that so I have created it here in Emerging from Broken for all of us; it helps me stay the path also. I am grateful for each one of the readers, guest post bloggers, commenters and contributors because my life is enriched by each of you. You give me a reason to share. You help me fulfill my purpose. You inspire me and encourage me. I thank you.

Happy New Year.

Wishing you a year filled with Truth ~ then Love will follow

Darlene Ouimet

Related Posts ~ “Before I faced the pain, I had to face the lies”

                            ~ Getting to the Turth ~ an audio by C.Enevoldsen and myself

                            ~ I held the key to my freedom ~ by Susan Kingsley Smith

Categories : Depression

30 Comments

1

Darlene,
This was my absolute favorite part of what you wrote:

“Recovery from abuse of any kind is a journey of many levels, twists and turns. There are hills, valleys, scary caves, dark forests, bright clearings, majestic mountains and dark creepy forests. There are rivers to be forged, and oceans to be crossed and there are peaceful ponds to rest by on lovely sunny days, after stormy nights filled with thunder and lightning. Today I like it all. I see the beauty in the journey.”

YES, YES, YES!!!! I’ve shared the apprehension I sometimes feel about going into the scary caves and dark forests, but even the haunted caves and forests are beautiful places since they show me the TRUTH. The comfortable, pleasant places aren’t the sources of the most healing. It’s those uncomfortable, unpleasant places that showed me the most about what lies I believed. Whatever I have to do, where ever I have to go, if it leads me to wholeness, I want it. I certainly enjoy the clearings and mountains too, but it’s ALL wonderful!

Love to you, my friend! Happy New Year!

2

May 2011 allow you to inspire more people than before.

3

Hi Christina!
How wonderful it is to share this journey with you; to share the dark caves and storms with you but also the beauty, the resting places and the victories. To pursue wholeness and truth and to find it and share those treasures! That is living!
Hugs, and LOVE to you
~ Darlene

4

Darlene,
You are such an inspiration to other. your words ” I remember this little flame of hope ~ this tiny voice within me that said “NO” I don’t believe that. I am SURE there is a cure ~ a permanent solution, a way to live in fullness in the way that I was sure we are meant to live ~ like a birthright. I almost gave up before I found it but I am happy to say that I persisted just long enough. (the key was in finding the truth)” will bring hope to others and that is all we need to start on our journey to healing, HOPE. Happy New Year to you and thank you.
Linda

5

Love this post! (And yes, I’m taking another break from my busy blitz–facebook is killing me LOL). My hurt is very different, but you have so many inspirational thoughts that help all the same. Happy New Year, and may 2011 be your best year yet!!

6

Hi Darlene,
As someone in the midst of struggling for some kind of path, this is inspiring. So many sat that depression can only be managed, not healed. Great to read the opposite. Happy New Year! Ellen

7

Darlene,

Your posts, as always, hit so close to home, and are incredibly inspiring. You touch on the exact things that have affected me and mine this entire life. I had a very difficult time making it through Christmas this year, but I persevered, and made it intact! I hope to be more involved in your wonderful, thought provoking blog this year, and I also hope to be stronger to power through the next holiday season/birthday.

Thanks so much for all that you share, and all that you illuminate for others of us.

Happy New Year to you!

All best,
Susa

8

Thank you, Thank you for sharing and creating a community of people to encourage and listen to each other. I am so excited to find this, as I have longed for a place where I can know that others understand. Know that I am not alone in the pain and work toward healing. Thank you!

9

Dear Darlene,
I’m so thankful that I found your wonderful blog a few weeks ago. I now have a goal for this New Year: I’m going back to your very first post, which is dated November 29, 2009, and I’m going to read all of the posts, and all of their comments, in the order in which they were written. I normally don’t do New Year’s Resolutions, because they typically set me up to fail at something I didn’t really want to do. But this is one resolution that I’m EXCITED about doing!

Your blog has inspired me in so many healthy, healing, affirming ways. I’m really looking forward to this new year… 2010 was a wonderful year, and 2011 will be even better, I know it.

I started a new blog today, which was inspired by your great openness and honesty as I read through your insightful posts. I’ve named my blog: “Coming Out of the cRaZy Closet.”

Ever since I was misdiagnosed with acute schizophrenia and committed to a mental institution at the age of 14 in 1967, I have struggled and fought against the “Crazy Label.” I’ve been shunned socially, made an outcast by my family, verbally and physically abused by “loved ones,” and denied basic human rights and the dignity of common courtesy, all on the basis that I am “CRAZY” and therefore, Inherently Unworthy.

For many years I kept hidden, denied, minimized, and repressed my very real “problems,” which were caused by severe abuse and trauma, NOT by any inborn mental illness, and I shied away from seeking therapeutic help, because I didn’t want to accept that soul-killing Crazy Label. Even after I finally hit rock bottom, at the time of my last divorce in 2003, when I used my settlement money to check myself into a renowned psychiatric clinic ~ I still felt ashamed of my Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder label, and tried to keep it a secret.

But, No More. Thanks to YOU, Darlene, to your brave, bold, honest, and unflinching way of facing TRUTH head-on, I am now: COMING OUT OF THE CRAZY CLOSET.

My Love to you and yours, and to everyone here. YOU ARE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL! Happy New Year!
Lynda

10

I’ve been trying all day and evening (now night) to “get with the program” – to feel hopeful about the new year and about my recovery and what might be next for me. But I think I’ve been making myself feel worse because I don’t feel what I’m supposed to feel AND I’m not giving myself permission to feel what I am feeling. Hopeless. Scared. Alone. Too many New Years’ Eves alone. Too many years alone. I don’t think I have what it takes to face this by myself. I don’t want to go through the pain and end up right back here next year, just as lonely and even more desperate. I don’t want to get my hopes up. And the very phrase “Don’t get your hopes up” makes me furious because that’s what my mother said to me EVERY TIME I ever got excited about ANYTHING. Now I have a permanent mindset to never get my hopes up because I will always be disappointed.

But the reality is, this is bigger than disappointment. If I start the recovery process and don’t continue, or don’t break through, or whatever the hell I need to do, I will just end up hurting even worse than I do already. And I really do not want that.

I’m sorry I’m dragging down this hopeful post. I am grateful to have found this blog and to have connected with so many who have been through some terrible stuff who can show me what it’s like on the other side. But I’m not to a place of full belief yet. And I didn’t know where else to post my true feelings…sure can’t do it on Facebook.

Maybe in the light of day, 1/1/11 will look better. Right now, it looks pretty lousy. I do hope the best for all of you. I hope we can keep helping each other.

11

lisa b, there are many people out there, who like you said, start working on their issuses only to stop when it gets hard or too painful, there is no shame in that to me. too me that is you finding out your limits and having something to work towards. at the start of this jouirneu things are extremely hard to face and deal with. for me it was because i beleived i was at fault that i did something to have deservred my abuse. well i didnt and niether did any of us reading this. i know many people who start groups or 1-1 and then cannot face what memories raise their ugly heads, yet to me it the bits i really dont n didnt want to face that have the most influence in my present.
over the years i have found that backwards is not always failure, in fact in some cases it made me revisit stuff i thought id dealt with and showed me that i still had areas to work on.

last year was tough in places,i was the summer when i found this wonderful group of people and i have grown and stretched since. the whole sharing of my thoughts and opinions has givne me the confidence to speak out even more and not to let others wanting me to be quiet to win.

12

Dear Darlene, Carol, Christina, Lynda, Lisa B and the others, all your comments have really given me hope. Like Lynda, I am so thrilled to have come across your post only a few weeks ago. Sometimes I wonder if you are going to get impatient with my slowness in understanding, but trust me, I have a come a LONG way. This time last year, I was in a serious fog of abuse and had no idea how to deal with it. Quite unexpectedly, I had one professional that came alongside and patiently helped me see it. I don’t have her services anymore, but now is the time to self-advocate.

Although I always end up crying reading your posts and the comments of the community, your words give me hope. Without them, I really would be too paralyzed to move forward. Being out of abuse is one thing, moving forward to the scary unknown, not knowing who I am or whether I can do it, is another.

Thanks for the tornado analogy in previous post. I really feel I am in the middle of one – just so many things to cope with. Court cases, 5 kids, all with different levels of urgent/serious issues, income problem, isolation, and just even practical problems like no one to mow the lawn, it seems more than I can handle. I need to step back before I fall apart.

What others posted about not really wanting to even face the recovery because of the “supposed to do”s would just add to the invalidation. But like Lynda, I am finding enough hope to look toward a new day, and it does call for faith/courage – and that means breaking it all down to manageable bits, writing it down, knowing what I’m working towards and looking forward to finding that real self and being thrilled with it.

13

Happy New Year Darlene,
I am also a survivor of major depression and not unlike you, at the beginning the prognosis was not good. That was thirty years ago and I refused to accept that prognosis.

By facing the truth, I was able to overcome my depression and live a full and rewarding life. Yes, it was scary at times. Yes, it took courage and hard work, but you’re so right I ended up discovering who I really am and I found my self-worth! Good stuff Darlene! I really enjoyed this post! 🙂

14

Hi Linda P.
Thanks for being here and Happy New Year!

Sylvia ~
Thank you ~ I wish the same for you!

Ellen ~
Yes depression can be healed. Mine has been and it has been YEARS now.

Hi Susa
Yay ! Thank you for sharing your victory this year. Thanks for your encouragement. It still amazes me how many of us are affected by the same things, that these same things are at the root of our struggles.

Hi Kia,
Welcome to Emerging From Broken, it is great to have you with us! I invite you to share as often as you wish about whatever you like. =)

Happy New Year Each of YOU!
Hugs, Darlene

15

This is such a special place because everyone here is heard and validated; something new for many of us. Being treated like the beautiful human beings we are is so wondrous and uplifting, because its not being patronized by people who don’t understand, or are afraid for us to examine truth, and our experiences,but really heard.

I know my discouraging days don’t have to be a permanent condition. I know the feeling Lisa B. writes about: ‘What if I try and it doesn’t work?’ The thing is every kind thing I do for myself is not wasted; every compassionate thought is another in the well of health. I know my resistence at times to recovery is based on fearfulness, born of what I was taught about myself: that no matter what I did, I was still a ‘failure’; and that was my role in life.I was to remain a failure so that others might look ‘better’.And being a ‘failure’ meant I had some place in this world to belong- my family.That is a high price to pay just to belong somewhere. Stark and ugly, but there it is.

If I continue to think of myself the same way I was viewed all my life,then I place on myself the same ‘conditions’ for ‘love and attention’. This was learned behavior on all sides; and not the truth.Recovery will be stalled every time I compare myself and my journey with others and everytime I subject/expose myself to the people who discounted me.This, I have found, includes right now, even thinking about these people, as I have been this holiday season.

A place to start is; when I get bogged down,is to think of someone I love dearly, or a pet I love: Would I want them to go through what I have been through? How do I feel when I think of them being abused as I was? I have and still do stand up for those I love. I would physically prevent anyone from hurting my daughter or little cat Molly.

Where did that love come from? Did I invent it myself? No. I believe it is placed in the heart, and we can fan it or dampen it but we can’t eradicate it.Even when I think I can’t do anything ‘right enough’ because I was TAUGHT that,there is something bigger than me here, that is goodness, and kindness, and compassion.I believe in that something.

But I cannot be around dismissive people; patronizing or sarcastic snide people, or people who are religious fanatics: (IRRATIONAL PEOPLE). I’m allergic.

Identifying how I am feeling has been invaluable.Identifying what I have been thinking, doing, or exposed myself to that contributes to how I feel is critical.Also recognizing that triggers and emotional flashbacks are at work is so important.I can ride through them when I know what is going on.

The holidays were awful because I had the realizations that the family estrangement was real. It wasn’t going to ‘fixed’ ever. Even if it were modified, the thought of living with that tension is so depressing and distressing.

No one is going to ‘fix’ things; they are just going to be left like rotting trash on the curb.There is grieving to be done. Then I take charge of the trash. It must be disposed of and out of my mind. I didn’t ask for things to be this way.I didn’t want things to be this way. But I cannot change other people; their actions and their words.No one has asked for reconciliation with me in my situation. No one has honored my feelings as I think I have honored theirs by trying to hear them out or leave the door open for explanations. That alone tells me the love in my family was conditional; and without much depth, or respect.These are things I don’t want in my life- a life without respect, or depth of true honest feelings.

We either get on with living this life or we don’t.I intend to, and slowly as I go, learn my worth has nothing to do with what other people said, did, or thought about me.There are many beautiful people and things in this life that make it wonderful. Its up to me to learn how to embrace them.

Thanks again for this blog!

16

Hi Lynda,
Congrats on starting a new blog with a new name and sharing that with us. Keep me posted on your goal to read this entire blog ~ (something got mixed up in there, the first official post is Dec.01 2009 so don’t worry if you don’t see that Nov.29th one anymore.) Thanks for being here!

Hi Carol,
Thank you for sharing your wise words ~ The process IS hard and it IS painful. I persisted because I believed in the freedom and I started to think that nothing could be worse then how I felt inside anyway, so I went for it. I am really glad that you are a part of this and that you keep sharing your journey. I LOVE seeing the growth in you!
Hugs, Darlene

Krissy,
I am so glad that you are here and I appreciate all that you share and that you are so honest. I won’t get impatient, your process is YOURS and it will happen in your time frame, not in mine. I didn’t do this whole thing over night. I had been through all the intense parts of my process when I started blogging about it and I was already speaking in mental health seminars. I had worked in mental health for almost 3 years when I started writing. I had LOTS of time in before this blog began! It takes what it takes and how ever long it takes. I am just happy that you are here! You contribute so much!
Hugs, Darlene

Happy New Year!!

17

Elizabeth,
Great post, thank you for sharing all of this.
Yes, I see the “beauty in the journey!” (Christina)
Sheryl

18

Dolores
Thank you for sharing your victory with us! This is so hope inspiring!
Hugs, Darlene

Elizabeth;
I don’t even know where to begin to respond to your comment. It deserves some sort of comment award or something. You have come such a long way and grown in leaps and bounds and that growth is reflected in your comments, especially today in this comment. Wow.
This is really inspiring ~ thank you so much for sharing. I hope that everyone reads your comment. I posted a note about it on the facebook page for Emerging from Broken! I wish that I’d had it for a guest post it is really really wonderful.
Hugs, Darlene

One of the best things about this blog for me is that I get to be a part of the transformation that happens when people are validated. When they feel heard, sometimes for the first time in their lives. I get to see the lights come on and see the fire ignite! That is the best gift in the world for me!
Happy New Year everyone!
Hugs, Darlene

19

Elizabeth,

Thanks for your words of wisdom and encouragement. This part of what you said particularly struck me: “A place to start is; when I get bogged down,is to think of someone I love dearly, or a pet I love: Would I want them to go through what I have been through? How do I feel when I think of them being abused as I was?”

I wouldn’t even want someone I don’t like to go through what I’m going through now. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. That compassion can be a double-edged sword for me, though. Because I know my mother was abused and I want to validate her experience and I don’t want her to hurt anymore, I end up invalidating myself. And now, when she is making an effort to see me (although it is peripheral and it is to make herself feel better), I don’t want to let her near me. Emotionally, I mean. And it feels like I am punishing her, rather than helping myself. But when I pull back from that and focus on me, I still feel like I’m punishing her. The fact that I want a life independent of her (emotionally – we live far apart already but we are still enmeshed emotionally) feels wrong, unnatural. I don’t want to let her see even a little bit of my true self…I don’t want to allow myself to be vulnerable to her biting tongue or her impatience or even her sense of humor. I feel very trapped. And knowing it’s a trap of my own making only makes things worse…because there is no one to blame but myself.

Early this morning, OSA’s Facebook page had this post: “If your progress in recovery is thwarted each time you see your family, if you revert to being a subservient or a fearful child, then you may need to stop seeing them for a while. Most importantly, you may need time to develop your own separate “self”, since it may be impossible for you to maintain a sense of individuality when you are around them.” The Right to Innocence – Beverly Engel

This is me to a tee. Not just when I see them, but even talking to them on the phone. My mom can make me feel that small just by commenting on my FB status. And I know it’s power I’m giving her that I need to take back. But when I think about taking it back, I feel like that small and fearful child again. I feel like I don’t have the right or the ability or the strength to be separate from her. I’ve said this before and I guess it’s worth reiterating because it’s one of my biggest fears: What if there is no me without her?

Thank all of you here for letting me be where I am. It’s the best I can do right now.

20

Lisa,
I think that you have really defined your fear with your question “what if there is no me without her” I have so many responses to this that I am not sure where to start. One of them is that when I dug down to the foundation of my life and cleared the wreckage of the past, I felt like there was no me. (as I said in a recent post) but then I realized that this was a good starting place so that I could begin to FIND the real me. It was an odd feeling, to realize I didn’t really know me, an empty feeling, but wow what an adventure it has been since then.
I have lots more to share about this whole topic so I am going to save your comment for a future blog post.
Stay tuned, I have lots of new ideas for 2011 and this blog.
Hugs, Darlene

21

Darlene; me too, is about all I can add to your post. Deep in myself I knew there was an answer. I suspected that I could live beyond the issues that held me back and like you I’ve overcome the depression, dissociation…the belief that I somehow deserved and was at fault for the misery that I lived in. And today I do live beyond that stuff. Was it easy? No. Was it worth going through this healing journey to find freedom? Yes. Would I do it again? Definitely.

EFB is a special place and has a special meaning to me personally; I am grateful that out of the billions of people on this planet that somehow I have met you and all the wonderful people here who are traveling a similar path.

Happy 2011, Darlene and EFB members….I am so fortunate to be here among such warmth and wisdom. Hugs!

22

This is such a special place and so encouraging to feel free to be where I am at any given time on this joutrney, and not get lectured or shamed. What a gift!

In looking at how I value myself, I look t some of my relationships. Am I encouraging, honest and compassionate? Are the people around me? Just today, I had a jumpstart on doing more to make my ‘people’ environment feel safer and kinder.

I have been seeing a man, an old aquaintance, but so many things are not validating about the whole thing.In a long line of incidents and conversations with this man I won’t go into here, I have been feeling more and more devalued- not exactly abused emotionally but subtly told I am not a valuable part of his life.

Today we had sort of planned to get together for dinner. After not hearing from him for a week, he called last night- New Years Eve – and wanted to get together. I declined,on such short notice.We tentatively planned for today, saying we would be ‘in touch’ today to see. I have been trying to unclog a bathtub drain today and stuck a coat hanger down it which has become stuck.He called as I was unsuccessfully trying to dislodge it and I explained what was going on.He said ‘That’s why I pay extra to the water co., to pay for plumbing when I need it.Well good luck with your drain and talk to you later.’

I’m firmly convinced if I had a flat tire he would say the same sort of thing. I called him during the last two ice storms to see if he was ok. Not vice versa.

When my daughter’s car died and we had one car between us he never offered to help me look for another car or ever asked about it later.

We have to eat at his choice of restaurants, all on the same stretch of road except rarely.They are far closer to him than to me.

When we do eat, he asks the cashier to split the bill.

When I told him about our troubles with an abusive church situation, he aid, ‘I can’t believe you went back to that church after being raised in it.’

I see I am doing ALL the ‘giving, giving in, and being there’ in this ‘friendship/relationship’. Its all about him and what is convenient for him; never me.Ever.He seems to want a dinner companion when and where, and how HE wants it; nothing more.Nothing else at any other time-Oh we go to support group meetings together sometimes after dinner.I get the feeling I am some sort of utilitarian window dressing, but there is no depth. He’s never taken me dancing; says he doesn’t dance; he’s never gone to the movies with me;w have never taken a trip to a museum, or to the countryside to enjoy the scenery and talk.

Today with this coat hanger stuck in my drain, I realize I didn’t want him to FIX things or come here to help; and I did not ask him to do so; Nor did he offer.I wanted him to be mildly interested in it; in anything to do with me; and he’s not.He’s just not.I don’t know what emotional satisfaction he’s getting out of it, but this just leaves me dead in the water; I’m bored with it, tired of it and beginning to resent him.

So there’s another one gone. My entire life has been filled with people for whom I have been a convenience; but not a person they were INVOLVED with. Its time for that to stop. I deserve better than this hollow shell of a disappointing charade.

Thanks for letting me ay that. I’m going now to leave a message for the plumber. Lol.

23

ELIZABETH ~ what Darlene said about your comment deserving a comment award, that’s exactly how I felt when I read it, and reread it, and reread it again. Wow. I’m now going to read it AGAIN!

Hugs,
Lynda

24

Elizabeth – I just wanted to say “I hear you” and this was an issue for me in all relationships as I forged into my new life. I’d put up with disinterest and being dismissed when I’d try to share about my life or my life experiences.

And at first, it was hard because I kept going back to the idea that it was up to me to stick with every relationship and make it work. I hesitated ending these uncomfortable situations. But – once I realized that these were the “red flags” that were telling me the kind of person I was dealing with – and that I needed to not share my treasure (my thoughts, feelings,dreams,desires,hopes,sadness….) with those who did not honor them.

I realized I didn’t have to make them the “bad guy” only realize that this was their “stuff”. This has helped me to avoid that trap where I invest weeks, months and years in unhealthy relationships and allows me to move on and open myself up to the relationships that are supportive and nurturing.

And little steps, practicing with men and women in friendship makes it easier to recognize that there are levels of intimacy rather than that all consuming enmeshment I’d been accustomed to. Self discovery is a wonderful adventure!

25

Darlene, great year ahead for us all! yay! Thanks for all you do…

Lisa B, Elizabeth and so many others your comments touched me, resonate with me and I find myself wishing I could sit down and chat with you and share our common threads and where we are in our journey to healing.

Bright blessings to all and welcome 2011!

26

This site offers us all a platform of unfettered freedom to say whatever it is we need to say in a forum that is always heard and validated by others who read and offer up lives. May we all welcome each voice that has risen up to tell their story, to tell their life with all of us. May this new year bring us bravery to stand up to abusive relationships and give us the strength to move beyond that to HOPE LOVE and ACCEPTANCE. My thanks and appreciation go out to you Darlene for forging a path in which I can HEAL and find PEACE. Each day is new and different, yes I have ups and downs, but that comes with life. We each HEAL at our own tempo and we should never chatize anyone because they have not arrived to where you are. I have not seen this to be the case here, but know it exists in life outsie this arena. So know this fellow travellers may we share in each others success and someday we will be forging a path for others to follow also. Much love and huggs to all of you for giving of your time to share here on this page.

27

It has been one wonderful year of journey – even with the struggles and heartaches in facing truths … and lies. I love this forum as its through here that I discovered a place where I could share and not feel judged, where I could be believed and not feel like I was the crazy person!!

Darlene ~ You are a light and I thank God for you. I have learned so much from you and from others who have shared and commented. I got a part of my life back … I am discovering who I am, finally – at 45 years of age! It is wonderful to have a place where hurting souls can come and bear their souls without fear of judgment – I love how everyone compares stories, how we each obtain epiphanies through folks when they share what they’ve learned in their journeys. And all here led me to seek out a qualified therapist and I am so happy I did!! I feel a little more whole after each visit … and even though I am now in therapy, I still enjoy reading this blog as I still learn so much from it – it is a blessing to me.

It is a good-bye to 2010 … but like you, I have great expectations in 2011, I expect more healing, more love, more wonderful, more ‘normalcy,’ and getting to know more of myself.

28

Happy New Year Susan,
I am really glad that you are here too. You add hope and inspiration sharing your life history and your journey to recovery. I appreciate the differences in our processes and celebrate that the details can be vastly different, yet the end goal and journey to recovery can be very similar.
Hugs, Darlene

Paulette,
I am blessed to have your contributions here as well. Before I started this blog, part of my job as the director of client relations (in a therapy company) was that I contributed to the support of others in the therapy process. I have always seen myself and the way I write this blog as a support tool in the process of recovery. I am really happy for you that you have found a good therapist. I think that is a rare gift that many never have a chance to experience. (Having said that, I want to add that I having a therapist is not the only way to reach the end goal of wholeness ~ therapy is not the answer for everyone. There are many paths that lead to the destination)
Thank you for your willingness to be real and transparent ~ you are a wonderful example of persistence. =)
Hugs, Darlene

Hey Shanyn,
Thanks for being here and for sharing your journey here with EFB!
Hugs, Darlene

Hi Lorraine,
Thank you for sharing your New Years blessing. (well that is how I felt reading it anyway ~ I felt like my blog and my mission and purpose had been blessed and affirmed!)
It is great to have you sharing here!!
Hugs, Darlene

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[…] Related Posts ~ Welcoming a New Year of Emotional Healing […]

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I just published a new post answering comment # 19 here from Lisa. You can read it here:
More on dysfunctional mother daughter relationship
Hugs, Darlene

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