"To me letting go is no longer about trying to forget injustices done to me. I was being commanded to let go of injustices that had never been acknowledged in the first place. I was being told to ‘forget’ events that were wrong and sometimes even illegal and in doing that I was being told to stop trying to be authenticated. I was being told to let go of things that most of the people in my life were denying ever happened to me.
As a result of that, I was trying to let go of the fact that I had been dismissed, invalidated, neglected and ignored. I was trying to AGREE with ‘them’ that nothing bad or wrong had ever actually happened to me and in doing so I was regarding myself exactly the way I had been regarded. As a result of that I was sinking deeper and deeper into depressions, feeling as though I could not breathe and in reality I was fighting for my life."
"Why do we care so much about what everyone else thinks? Why did I NEED to be believed especially by the very people who invalidate me in the first place? I think it is because I was brainwashed very young to believe that everyone else knew better then I knew and that “they” had the ability and the right to define me. They “owned me”. I didn’t belong to myself." Emerging from Broken is about how I took my life back and overcame the damage.
I started to ask myself the following question; “why would I even want ‘that kind’ of love?” and I started to realize that the ways that I was disregarded and invalidated ISN’T actually love. And it is very painful to realize these things but at the end of the pain comes a freedom so amazing. Finding out that I wasn’t born to be a servant to the dysfunctional needs of others was wondrous! Darlene Ouimet ~ Author of Emerging From Broken ~ popular blog and e-book
"I found my true self and realized that I was not a mean hateful person. I found out that I was a hurt, squished person and underneath the wall I had built up to protect myself, was a loving, caring, sensitive and beautiful woman.
And I said NO to being squished. I let go of the belief that unless the people that had invalidated me, decided to validate me, I wasn’t valid. I didn’t need proof that I was valid anymore. I let go of looking at me through their eyes!
I let go of the lies and false definitions of me, and I began to live!"
Darlene Ouimet Author of popular e-book "Emerging from Broken The Beginning of Hope for Emotional Healing"
"I let go of false hope. I let go of the hope that they would transform in favor of working on my own transformation. I let go of the hope that they would HEAR me. I let go of the hope that they would SEE me. Instead of my hope being in THEM, I listened to me. I heard me, I saw me, I validated my own pain and I began to emerge from the broken life I had been living.I put my hope in the truth.
I began to breathe.
I began to heal."
About being told to "just let it go"~
~I let go of the belief that ‘they’ did the best they could and realized that there were many times that they didn’t do the best they could at all. The truth was that I was not permitted to judge their choices for me.
~I let go of the idea that something was wrong with me.
~I let go of the hope that they would change.
~I let go of the resentments I had when I realized that I had a right to have them and that they didn’t come from my delusional imagination. The resentments that I had came from somewhere. Validating where they came from went miles towards my being able to ‘let them go’ in order to ‘move forward’.