Comments on: The Recovery Journey ~ Common Bonds

By: Darlene Ouimet

Darlene Ouimet — Thu, 17 May 2012 00:26:12 +0000

Hi Worth-waiting-for
Thank you!
Hugs, Darlene

By: Worth-Waiting-For

Worth-Waiting-For — Wed, 16 May 2012 19:00:56 +0000

Very insightful post. Everything in it – from the development of harmful belief systems to how to escape from those patterns – really resonated with me. Thank you for posting on such important issues that so many people in the mental health care profession fail to understand and address.

By: Darlene Ouimet

Darlene Ouimet — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 19:22:04 +0000

PS Betsy
oops… sorry for the extra welcome message… I know you are not new here… I have been answering a ton of comments today and got mixed up!
Hugs,Darlene

By: Darlene Ouimet

Darlene Ouimet — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 19:19:21 +0000

Hi Betsy
Welcome to EFB ~ this is a huge question. I believe the cycle of is abuse is exactly that; a cycle. And yes, it is everywhere because at the root of it is the misuse of power and control. Some people seek positions of power and authority so they can HAVE power and authority. Many seek to work with victims. The only hope is in healing. Our healing. When we heal we take our lives back and come out of the fog that enables abusers to get away with abuse.
Hugs, Darlene

By: betsy

betsy — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 18:42:37 +0000

what is the common denominator between people that are abused and who do the abusing… the stories are so similar, your story is like a mirror to me.. but why are some of us more susceptible to this happening. Do you think that a family with more children it happens more often, does that matter or is it more that a non caring parent displays the same behavior perhaps because they went through it also, and rather just not deal with it all or can’t? My mother was sexually abused and when it was happening to me she was not very nice to me and even accused me of causing it to happen. I dealt with it for 4 years by myself until one day I told my girlfriend and she told me how stupid it was, and it was like waking up from a dream and I suddenly had a choice.
I was blessed to have had the opportunity some years ago to spend 3 months in the shelter where I had some awesome group counseling time though I have to tell you that I rather have been abused then to deal with the abuse that went on in the shelter by the director and staff.. it was horrible for me and my son. So I had to deal with that as well… always something. Have you ever had to deal with the same thing happening with doctors and other medical type workers? Why is there such a recurrence or trend?? (thank you for your blog… your words are comforting)

By: Mental Health Recovery ~ Ten Necessary Changes :: Emerging From Broken

Mental Health Recovery ~ Ten Necessary Changes :: Emerging From Broken — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 15:50:38 +0000

[...] I had to get it sorted out. I had to separate the real from the imagined; the true from the false; the facts from the fiction and it all had to be looked at from a new perspective; the true perspective. The way things really had been. These are a few of the necessary things that I did in order to give myself some space to come out of the fog enough to see clearly and begin to heal. This is part two; continued from “The Recovery Journey ~ Common Bonds“ [...]

By: Darlene Ouimet

Darlene Ouimet — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 16:46:11 +0000

Lynda,
I am so glad that you are here and that you are willing to share your recovery process and your personal work here too.
Hugs, Darlene

By: Lynda ~ Coming Out Of The cRaZy Closet

Lynda ~ Coming Out Of The cRaZy Closet — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 15:22:25 +0000

Darlene, a few months ago I was drowning in a wild stormy sea of misery. Then I searched online for HELP and found your blog ~ a life ring that is saving me from the stormy sea. Reading thru your posts, old and new, and all the comments, is so HEALING, Enlightening, and Affirming.

By: Darlene Ouimet

Darlene Ouimet — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 14:42:16 +0000

Laura,
You are right, we have to start somewhere, and “better than yesterday” is always good! I had to begin to value myself somehow, somewhere. It is very hard because we are convinced that our value will come from someone (parents, friends or lovers) OR from something, like work and success or material gain. But it doesn’t work that way and then we are left wondering what the heck!! It is when we take our value into our own hands and look at what we really blieve about ourselves, that we can see the lies for what they are and begin to change the way we think.
I am so glad that you are doing that!
Hugs, Darlene

By: Laura

Laura — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 22:43:38 +0000

Thank you. It is exactly what I am experiencing. And yes, I am more than tired, I am mentally and emotionally exhausted. I know my value isn’t established by them, my heart just wishes that I was valued by them which is what makes it a hard cyclical struggle. It is a constant fight to be valued and feel valued. But I guess on a positive, I at least value myself more than I ever have. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I think I’ve just given myself a reason to find 15 minutes every day to read.