Comments on: The Recovery Journey ~ Common Bonds http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-recovery-journey-common-bonds/ from surviving to thriving on the journey to wholeness Sun, 05 Feb 2012 21:22:31 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Mental Health Recovery ~ Ten Necessary Changes :: Emerging From Broken http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-recovery-journey-common-bonds/comment-page-1/#comment-13744 Mental Health Recovery ~ Ten Necessary Changes :: Emerging From Broken Fri, 15 Apr 2011 15:50:38 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=929#comment-13744 [...] I had to get it sorted out. I had to separate the real from the imagined; the true from the false; the facts from the fiction and it all had to be looked at from a new perspective; the true perspective. The way things really had been.  These are a few of the necessary things that I did in order to give myself some space to come out of the fog enough to see clearly and begin to heal.  This is part two; continued from “The Recovery Journey ~ Common Bonds“ [...] [...] I had to get it sorted out. I had to separate the real from the imagined; the true from the false; the facts from the fiction and it all had to be looked at from a new perspective; the true perspective. The way things really had been.  These are a few of the necessary things that I did in order to give myself some space to come out of the fog enough to see clearly and begin to heal.  This is part two; continued from “The Recovery Journey ~ Common Bonds“ [...]

]]> By: Darlene Ouimet http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-recovery-journey-common-bonds/comment-page-1/#comment-11514 Darlene Ouimet Sat, 05 Mar 2011 16:46:11 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=929#comment-11514 Lynda, I am so glad that you are here and that you are willing to share your recovery process and your personal work here too. Hugs, Darlene Lynda,
I am so glad that you are here and that you are willing to share your recovery process and your personal work here too.
Hugs, Darlene

]]> By: Lynda ~ Coming Out Of The cRaZy Closet http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-recovery-journey-common-bonds/comment-page-1/#comment-11502 Lynda ~ Coming Out Of The cRaZy Closet Sat, 05 Mar 2011 15:22:25 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=929#comment-11502 Darlene, a few months ago I was drowning in a wild stormy sea of misery. Then I searched online for HELP and found your blog ~ a life ring that is saving me from the stormy sea. Reading thru your posts, old and new, and all the comments, is so HEALING, Enlightening, and Affirming. Darlene, a few months ago I was drowning in a wild stormy sea of misery. Then I searched online for HELP and found your blog ~ a life ring that is saving me from the stormy sea. Reading thru your posts, old and new, and all the comments, is so HEALING, Enlightening, and Affirming.

]]> By: Darlene Ouimet http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-recovery-journey-common-bonds/comment-page-1/#comment-1761 Darlene Ouimet Wed, 02 Jun 2010 14:42:16 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=929#comment-1761 Laura, You are right, we have to start somewhere, and "better than yesterday" is always good! I had to begin to value myself somehow, somewhere. It is very hard because we are convinced that our value will come from someone (parents, friends or lovers) OR from something, like work and success or material gain. But it doesn't work that way and then we are left wondering what the heck!! It is when we take our value into our own hands and look at what we really blieve about ourselves, that we can see the lies for what they are and begin to change the way we think. I am so glad that you are doing that! Hugs, Darlene Laura,
You are right, we have to start somewhere, and “better than yesterday” is always good! I had to begin to value myself somehow, somewhere. It is very hard because we are convinced that our value will come from someone (parents, friends or lovers) OR from something, like work and success or material gain. But it doesn’t work that way and then we are left wondering what the heck!! It is when we take our value into our own hands and look at what we really blieve about ourselves, that we can see the lies for what they are and begin to change the way we think.
I am so glad that you are doing that!
Hugs, Darlene

]]> By: Laura http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-recovery-journey-common-bonds/comment-page-1/#comment-1753 Laura Tue, 01 Jun 2010 22:43:38 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=929#comment-1753 Thank you. It is exactly what I am experiencing. And yes, I am more than tired, I am mentally and emotionally exhausted. I know my value isn't established by them, my heart just wishes that I was valued by them which is what makes it a hard cyclical struggle. It is a constant fight to be valued and feel valued. But I guess on a positive, I at least value myself more than I ever have. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I think I've just given myself a reason to find 15 minutes every day to read. Thank you. It is exactly what I am experiencing. And yes, I am more than tired, I am mentally and emotionally exhausted. I know my value isn’t established by them, my heart just wishes that I was valued by them which is what makes it a hard cyclical struggle. It is a constant fight to be valued and feel valued. But I guess on a positive, I at least value myself more than I ever have. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I think I’ve just given myself a reason to find 15 minutes every day to read.

]]> By: Darlene Ouimet http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-recovery-journey-common-bonds/comment-page-1/#comment-1697 Darlene Ouimet Sat, 29 May 2010 13:12:23 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=929#comment-1697 Hi Laura, I hope that you will find time to read more too.. I can relate to you very much with what you have said here, and I have written a lot more about these very subjects here in this blog. It was always MY fault, and I always tried harder. Everyone ~ boyfriends, parents, siblings, in laws told me that I was the one that had a problem and I believed it. But I found out that it just part of how control works... how they kept me down. I thought I was this strong independent woman, and finally one day I just didn't want to go on anymore... because I was just so tired of the fight to "be valued". I felt like I was constantly trying to prove that I had a right to be here.. and I was getting tired. But I found my voice; I learned that my value is not established by them, but by me and I healed and established it, FOR ME. My life is very different today and not everybody likes it, but I feel great. I feel strong, valid and fulfilled. I live my life with purpose. I believe that the same is possible for all of us. =) Hugs, Darlene Hi Laura,
I hope that you will find time to read more too.. I can relate to you very much with what you have said here, and I have written a lot more about these very subjects here in this blog. It was always MY fault, and I always tried harder. Everyone ~ boyfriends, parents, siblings, in laws told me that I was the one that had a problem and I believed it. But I found out that it just part of how control works… how they kept me down. I thought I was this strong independent woman, and finally one day I just didn’t want to go on anymore… because I was just so tired of the fight to “be valued”. I felt like I was constantly trying to prove that I had a right to be here.. and I was getting tired. But I found my voice; I learned that my value is not established by them, but by me and I healed and established it, FOR ME. My life is very different today and not everybody likes it, but I feel great. I feel strong, valid and fulfilled. I live my life with purpose. I believe that the same is possible for all of us. =)
Hugs, Darlene

]]> By: Laura http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-recovery-journey-common-bonds/comment-page-1/#comment-1690 Laura Sat, 29 May 2010 01:30:47 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=929#comment-1690 I hope I can find the time and space to read more. Even if it starts as just one person, having one person not tell you to get over it, past it, what's wrong with you, I don't remember that, it wasn't that bad....etc. would be refreshing. I guess what people don't realize is you don't ask to have the damage done, it's just done and it doesn't just repair itself. If I could snap my fingers and 'be normal' believe me I'd save all the time, money and energy and do it in a heartbeat. It is great that you say we all deserve to have a voice. I feel so strongly about that. Even as a child I stood up for my siblings and tried to protect them from the physical abuse (and I'm the youngest!) and I still stand on the mountain tops saying, "NO! You cannot treat me that way!" But sadly I am still doing something wrong because it doesn't change. I still get treated poorly and I feel I am screaming into empty air. And sometimes my hurt and need to stand up for myself becomes so strong that I am told I am "unapproachable" and "scary". And all those feelings I had as a child come rushing back and I find it sad that I can't get out of this loop. In two weeks it will be 40 years of it and I hope that like you I am able to find healing along this journey because I am finding it quite difficult. And I'm tired of scaring people away with my 'protective shield'. I hope I can find the time and space to read more. Even if it starts as just one person, having one person not tell you to get over it, past it, what’s wrong with you, I don’t remember that, it wasn’t that bad….etc. would be refreshing. I guess what people don’t realize is you don’t ask to have the damage done, it’s just done and it doesn’t just repair itself. If I could snap my fingers and ‘be normal’ believe me I’d save all the time, money and energy and do it in a heartbeat. It is great that you say we all deserve to have a voice. I feel so strongly about that. Even as a child I stood up for my siblings and tried to protect them from the physical abuse (and I’m the youngest!) and I still stand on the mountain tops saying, “NO! You cannot treat me that way!” But sadly I am still doing something wrong because it doesn’t change. I still get treated poorly and I feel I am screaming into empty air. And sometimes my hurt and need to stand up for myself becomes so strong that I am told I am “unapproachable” and “scary”. And all those feelings I had as a child come rushing back and I find it sad that I can’t get out of this loop. In two weeks it will be 40 years of it and I hope that like you I am able to find healing along this journey because I am finding it quite difficult. And I’m tired of scaring people away with my ‘protective shield’.

]]> By: Survivor News on the Web (May 12-18, 2010) « If She Cry Out http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-recovery-journey-common-bonds/comment-page-1/#comment-1572 Survivor News on the Web (May 12-18, 2010) « If She Cry Out Fri, 21 May 2010 11:19:36 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=929#comment-1572 [...] ourselves as we are now, in the moment, and not as we think we should be. Two part post: (1, 2) [...] [...] ourselves as we are now, in the moment, and not as we think we should be. Two part post: (1, 2) [...]

]]> By: Darlene Ouimet http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-recovery-journey-common-bonds/comment-page-1/#comment-1440 Darlene Ouimet Sat, 15 May 2010 02:31:00 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=929#comment-1440 . Patricia, I went through years of talking too much to avoiding hearing anything. And years of never speaking before the talking years.. all of that for me had to do with coping, and dissociative stuff. (and dissociating is coping too!) Ahh.. I so appreciate the comments you leave. So many comments just remind me of something else that I want to write about! LOL Hi Carl, It is so wonderful to hear from you. There is so much power when we see our common bonds; the deep down pain that we try so hard to hide because we think that it sets us apart and we are ashamed, but in reality that common bond is what makes us able to overcome, and emerg from broken together in a human chain of stength and victory! Hugs, Darlene .
Patricia,
I went through years of talking too much to avoiding hearing anything. And years of never speaking before the talking years.. all of that for me had to do with coping, and dissociative stuff. (and dissociating is coping too!) Ahh.. I so appreciate the comments you leave. So many comments just remind me of something else that I want to write about! LOL

Hi Carl,
It is so wonderful to hear from you. There is so much power when we see our common bonds; the deep down pain that we try so hard to hide because we think that it sets us apart and we are ashamed, but in reality that common bond is what makes us able to overcome, and emerg from broken together in a human chain of stength and victory!
Hugs, Darlene

]]> By: Carl http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-recovery-journey-common-bonds/comment-page-1/#comment-1437 Carl Sat, 15 May 2010 02:02:01 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=929#comment-1437 That first sentence really says it all. I made a similar observation the other night after listening to Dan, Ellen, and Stash's first Dialog with Dignity. I'm looking forward to your Part 2. That first sentence really says it all. I made a similar observation the other night after listening to Dan, Ellen, and Stash’s first Dialog with Dignity. I’m looking forward to your Part 2.

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