Comments on: The Life Long Damage of Abuse ~Food for Thought http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-life-long-damage-of-abuse-food-for-thought/ from surviving to thriving on the journey to wholeness Mon, 21 May 2012 21:15:58 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Darlene Ouimet http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-life-long-damage-of-abuse-food-for-thought/comment-page-1/#comment-15080 Darlene Ouimet Sun, 08 May 2011 13:10:44 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=576#comment-15080 Hi Hermien, I think that I had the wrong definition of love for most of my life and I had to learn the right definition as I moved forward in recovery. Also, I think I had a radar too, but I think I was also attracted to abusive people because my self esteem was so low and "abusive" was so comfortable and familiar to me. I changed all that! Hang in there! Hugs, Darlene Hi Hermien,
I think that I had the wrong definition of love for most of my life and I had to learn the right definition as I moved forward in recovery. Also, I think I had a radar too, but I think I was also attracted to abusive people because my self esteem was so low and “abusive” was so comfortable and familiar to me. I changed all that!
Hang in there!
Hugs, Darlene

]]> By: hermien http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-life-long-damage-of-abuse-food-for-thought/comment-page-1/#comment-15077 hermien Sun, 08 May 2011 09:58:31 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=576#comment-15077 This is true. I myself cant know or comprehend what love is really. and i think love would bore me perhaps. I keep falling into traps of things that feels like it must be love only to find out later it is not. Tho i dont want the false thing in the place of love ,i dont want it! one therapist told me that i have like a radar that brings the abusive people to me.....can u believe now i have a husband with...a what seems to b .......i cant talk of it yet here we are hoping for a professional outcome This is true. I myself cant know or comprehend what love is really. and i think love would bore me perhaps. I keep falling into traps of things that feels like it must be love only to find out later it is not. Tho i dont want the false thing in the place of love ,i dont want it! one therapist told me that i have like a radar that brings the abusive people to me…..can u believe now i have a husband with…a what seems to b …….i cant talk of it yet here we are hoping for a professional outcome

]]> By: Darlene Ouimet http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-life-long-damage-of-abuse-food-for-thought/comment-page-1/#comment-322 Darlene Ouimet Wed, 10 Mar 2010 01:49:02 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=576#comment-322 Thanks so much for your comment Betty, please keep reading and visiting here. Cath mentioned not having a healthy framework to know what real love (etc.) should look like. That is a very big part of the process, to expose the lies, replace with the truth and rebuild that frame work. As so many of you commented, growing up in this fear and abuse has ripped off childhood, and done such huge amounts of damage, but I started this blog to inspire hope because I found a way to heal. I am free and whole today. The past doesn't get in my way anymore. I am going to start writing a post that explains a little bit more in depth the process of recovery as it unfolded in my life. Thanks and Hugs, Darlene Ouimet Thanks so much for your comment Betty, please keep reading and visiting here.

Cath mentioned not having a healthy framework to know what real love (etc.) should look like. That is a very big part of the process, to expose the lies, replace with the truth and rebuild that frame work.

As so many of you commented, growing up in this fear and abuse has ripped off childhood, and done such huge amounts of damage, but I started this blog to inspire hope because I found a way to heal. I am free and whole today. The past doesn’t get in my way anymore.

I am going to start writing a post that explains a little bit more in depth the process of recovery as it unfolded in my life.

Thanks and Hugs,
Darlene Ouimet

]]> By: Betty M http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-life-long-damage-of-abuse-food-for-thought/comment-page-1/#comment-316 Betty M Tue, 09 Mar 2010 05:59:24 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=576#comment-316 mY WEB SITE TOUCHES ON pTSD AND ALL KINDS OF ABUSE. I have lived 45 of my 50 years in pain. I isolate, I dont trust. I fear everyone and everything. At 5 my uncle started molesting me till I was 9. Then I was kidnapped and rapped for 3 days at 14 by 3 men. At 16 I met and moved in with the father of my children who beat me, put guns to my head . stabbed me . choked me. you name it I lost all self esteem if I had any to begin with. It took till I was 27 to get away . I suffer flash back and if I meet someone and get a bad vibe I dont hestate to show my dislike . I dont like to drive, I have to go the same was all the time to the same places. Like my dr or counselor. I am clastrphic terrible . I fear bugs bee snakes. If I bee comes near me I am back in the house to stay. So I cant not only leave my home i cant even sit on the stairs outside. Those dam bug know I am there LOL. I realize what was done to me is not my fault. But I have been hurt way to many times. Everytime I let someone in they hurt me in one way or another. Like the girl next store calls me a crazy B tch . Yea I am crazy she is the one high on drugs all kinds and dont watch her kids. I let her in and she stole from me. money , my meds you name it. I have a very short fuse verging on rage when I get angry . It all part of PTSD . aNGER RAGE , FLASH BACKS, FEAR mY WEB SITE TOUCHES ON pTSD AND ALL KINDS OF ABUSE.
I have lived 45 of my 50 years in pain. I isolate, I dont trust. I fear everyone and everything.
At 5 my uncle started molesting me till I was 9. Then I was kidnapped and rapped for 3 days at 14 by 3 men. At 16 I met and moved in with the father of my children who beat me, put guns to my head . stabbed me . choked me. you name it I lost all self esteem if I had any to begin with. It took till I was 27 to get away .
I suffer flash back and if I meet someone and get a bad vibe I dont hestate to show my dislike . I dont like to drive, I have to go the same was all the time to the same places. Like my dr or counselor. I am clastrphic terrible . I fear bugs bee snakes. If I bee comes near me I am back in the house to stay. So I cant not only leave my home i cant even sit on the stairs outside. Those dam bug know I am there LOL.
I realize what was done to me is not my fault. But I have been hurt way to many times. Everytime I let someone in they hurt me in one way or another. Like the girl next store calls me a crazy B tch . Yea I am crazy she is the one high on drugs all kinds and dont watch her kids. I let her in and she stole from me. money , my meds you name it. I have a very short fuse verging on rage when I get angry . It all part of PTSD . aNGER RAGE , FLASH BACKS, FEAR

]]> By: Darlene Ouimet http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-life-long-damage-of-abuse-food-for-thought/comment-page-1/#comment-315 Darlene Ouimet Tue, 09 Mar 2010 03:04:29 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=576#comment-315 I am moved deeply by the honesty of the comments generated by this post. There is so much pain in the world and I hope this blog will be a way for some to feel understood and validated. The pain isn't wrong. The abuse was wrong. The pain for me went away when I realized that what was done to me was not my fault, and that I was not wrong or bad. Thanks so much to everyone who commented and to the many who shared this blog post with others. Bright sunny blessings! Darlene I am moved deeply by the honesty of the comments generated by this post. There is so much pain in the world and I hope this blog will be a way for some to feel understood and validated. The pain isn’t wrong. The abuse was wrong. The pain for me went away when I realized that what was done to me was not my fault, and that I was not wrong or bad.

Thanks so much to everyone who commented and to the many who shared this blog post with others.

Bright sunny blessings!
Darlene

]]> By: Catherine http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-life-long-damage-of-abuse-food-for-thought/comment-page-1/#comment-314 Catherine Mon, 08 Mar 2010 22:24:27 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=576#comment-314 These false truths were being poured into my mind before I could speak! I heard them night and day for almost 10 years! I was raised in an oppressive, controlling, cult like community. No one was allowed the freedom to think, express or question. Punishment and rebuke would follow any opposition! The words love and honor were always associated with punishment, humiliation, guilt and fear. Unraveling the mind field of a life impacted by sexual, spiritual and psychological abuse has been a huge battle! I had such emotional and physical symptoms in place by age 5, that I began disassociating in order to cope. There was no one, and no where to go for refuge. Everything and everyone was controlled by the leadership. No outside referrals we allowed, so any "support" was provided by the twisted minds within the community. Punishment, fear, humiliation...hell! I just remember being so little and sobbing! Voices were always screaming about surrendering and shame! Don't fight it...! You need to be broken so that you will surrender to the truth and be saved! I remember the anxiety of my Mother to have me say "the prayer" before I reached the age of accountability. Cheri, I also share the loss and sadness of missing out on real love relationships on so many levels! I didn't have any healthy framework to know what it should look like. Thanks so much for speaking out in truth Darlene Cath These false truths were being poured into my mind before I could speak! I heard them night and day for almost 10 years! I was raised in an oppressive, controlling, cult like community. No one was allowed the freedom to think, express or question. Punishment and rebuke would follow any opposition! The words love and honor were always associated with punishment, humiliation, guilt and fear. Unraveling the mind field of a life impacted by sexual, spiritual and psychological abuse has been a huge battle!

I had such emotional and physical symptoms in place by age 5, that I began disassociating in order to cope. There was no one, and no where to go for refuge. Everything and everyone was controlled by the leadership. No outside referrals we allowed, so any “support” was provided by the twisted minds within the community.

Punishment, fear, humiliation…hell! I just remember being so little and sobbing! Voices were always screaming about surrendering and shame! Don’t fight it…! You need to be broken so that you will surrender to the truth and be saved! I remember the anxiety of my Mother to have me say “the prayer” before I reached the age of accountability.

Cheri, I also share the loss and sadness of missing out on real love relationships on so many levels! I didn’t have any healthy framework to know what it should look like.

Thanks so much for speaking out in truth Darlene

Cath

]]> By: Viv Palmer/Harvey http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-life-long-damage-of-abuse-food-for-thought/comment-page-1/#comment-311 Viv Palmer/Harvey Mon, 08 Mar 2010 15:57:28 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=576#comment-311 Vivian R Palmer Harvey Well, since that has happened to me..I can tell you as a child I first refused to believe it..and I protested. But they kept telling me they beat me because they wanted me to be a good girl for Jesus. They were very worried about me going to heaven. So, in time I came to see I deserved those beatings..in fact I began to look forward to my "proper punishment...". This leads to some extremely SICK mentality..it is extremely sick. This is the beginning of masochistic and sado masochistic disorders. Read my thoughts in chapter 12.It is well documented.. not just thoughts Chapter twelve in my book "The Missionary Myth, Through the eyes of a Missionary Kid" discusses the Abuse Tree. Thank you for your encouragment and support. Viv Vivian R Palmer Harvey
Well, since that has happened to me..I can tell you as a child I first refused to believe it..and I protested. But they kept telling me they beat me because they wanted me to be a good girl for Jesus. They were very worried about me going to heaven. So, in time I came to see I deserved those beatings..in fact I began to look forward to my “proper punishment…”. This leads to some extremely SICK mentality..it is extremely sick.
This is the beginning of masochistic and sado masochistic disorders. Read my thoughts in chapter 12.It is well documented.. not just thoughts
Chapter twelve in my book “The Missionary Myth, Through the eyes of a Missionary Kid” discusses the Abuse Tree.
Thank you for your encouragment and support.
Viv

]]> By: Julie http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-life-long-damage-of-abuse-food-for-thought/comment-page-1/#comment-309 Julie Mon, 08 Mar 2010 13:16:46 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=576#comment-309 Hello Darlene, Thank you for your courage and honesty, for sharing a part of you that so many continue to hide, even after 'healing'. I feel moved for you, for me and others who for some reason or other have a false concept of the word 'love'. I have a story inside that one day I will share but for now the pages on the book beside me remain bare...one day. Sending real love and encouragement. Thank you. Julie Hello Darlene,

Thank you for your courage and honesty, for sharing a part of you that so many continue to hide, even after ‘healing’. I feel moved for you, for me and others who for some reason or other have a false concept of the word ‘love’. I have a story inside that one day I will share but for now the pages on the book beside me remain bare…one day.
Sending real love and encouragement.

Thank you.
Julie

]]> By: Just Be Real http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-life-long-damage-of-abuse-food-for-thought/comment-page-1/#comment-308 Just Be Real Sun, 07 Mar 2010 20:37:07 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=576#comment-308 Darlene, this is an excellent post and is exactly what I am dealing with now. . . ."love" and the lack of. I appreciate your transparency and encouragement. Thank you. Darlene, this is an excellent post and is exactly what I am dealing with now. . . .”love” and the lack of. I appreciate your transparency and encouragement. Thank you.

]]> By: john wilson http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-life-long-damage-of-abuse-food-for-thought/comment-page-1/#comment-307 john wilson Sun, 07 Mar 2010 20:24:58 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=576#comment-307 Hi Darlene Thanks for being courageous enough to share what's inside of you. Its so hard to redefine our language and our outlook on the world, you are an inspiration! John Hi Darlene

Thanks for being courageous enough to share what’s inside of you. Its so hard to redefine our language and our outlook on the world, you are an inspiration!

John

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