Comments on: The Beginning ~ Emerging from Broken http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-beginning-emerging-from-broken/ from surviving to thriving on the journey to wholeness Sun, 05 Feb 2012 21:22:31 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Exposing the Belief System ~ Coming out of the fog :: Emerging From Broken http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-beginning-emerging-from-broken/comment-page-1/#comment-13757 Exposing the Belief System ~ Coming out of the fog :: Emerging From Broken Fri, 15 Apr 2011 16:08:24 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=591#comment-13757 [...] Continued from my previous post, “The Beginning~Emerging from Broken“ [...] [...] Continued from my previous post, “The Beginning~Emerging from Broken“ [...]

]]> By: Susan http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-beginning-emerging-from-broken/comment-page-1/#comment-404 Susan Sat, 20 Mar 2010 00:06:43 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=591#comment-404 Darlene; I feel like I have come home. I have never met another who had this experience of finding a way to "get over" what the past had given me. I was also pretty much told that I would always be broken. But I'm not. I won't write a book here but I am so grateful to have found your blog and will look forward to reading again. Susan Darlene; I feel like I have come home. I have never met another who had this experience of finding a way to “get over” what the past had given me. I was also pretty much told that I would always be broken. But I’m not. I won’t write a book here but I am so grateful to have found your blog and will look forward to reading again. Susan

]]> By: Darlene Ouimet http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-beginning-emerging-from-broken/comment-page-1/#comment-360 Darlene Ouimet Sun, 14 Mar 2010 19:19:31 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=591#comment-360 Patricia, I like how you word your first sentence. That is my exp. also, that I had to work through the anger, acknowledge what really happened and that is was not my fault, and let I was able to let it go. It just went. I have had much frustration with churches preaching all their forgiveness messages, but not being able to help me do it! Thanks so much for your comments! Darlene Patricia,

I like how you word your first sentence. That is my exp. also, that I had to work through the anger, acknowledge what really happened and that is was not my fault, and let I was able to let it go. It just went.
I have had much frustration with churches preaching all their forgiveness messages, but not being able to help me do it!

Thanks so much for your comments!
Darlene

]]> By: Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-beginning-emerging-from-broken/comment-page-1/#comment-348 Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker Sat, 13 Mar 2010 00:13:06 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=591#comment-348 Forgiveness takes care of itself after you have worked through most of the anger. I won't say all of the anger because for me, as I work on another layer of abuse, more anger comes to the surface to be worked through and let go of. Forgiveness happens when and if you are ready for it and not before no matter what someone else tells you. Churches are bad about preaching about forgiveness but don't know how to help you achieve it in any lasting way. I have had a number of conversations with ministers over the years when they would tell me that I needed to forgive. None of them ever understood what I couldn't, at the time, tell them about the effects of incest on my mind, body and emotions. I added more and more guilt and shame onto my already overwhelming load because I just couldn't forgive and mean it. I could say the words but nothing changed. That made me feel worse. Forgiveness didn't come until my dad was beginning to die from alcoholism and cigarettes back in the year 2000. I never thought I would be able to forgive him but I did. That doesn't mean the hurting stops. It becomes not as intense and not as often to have to deal with the anger. What I sometimes feel today is anger, not the rage of my early recovery period. The hurt doesn't keep me a prisoner of depression any longer. Thanks Darlene for writing this article. Forgiveness takes care of itself after you have worked through most of the anger. I won’t say all of the anger because for me, as I work on another layer of abuse, more anger comes to the surface to be worked through and let go of.

Forgiveness happens when and if you are ready for it and not before no matter what someone else tells you. Churches are bad about preaching about forgiveness but don’t know how to help you achieve it in any lasting way.

I have had a number of conversations with ministers over the years when they would tell me that I needed to forgive. None of them ever understood what I couldn’t, at the time, tell them about the effects of incest on my mind, body and emotions. I added more and more guilt and shame onto my already overwhelming load because I just couldn’t forgive and mean it. I could say the words but nothing changed. That made me feel worse.

Forgiveness didn’t come until my dad was beginning to die from alcoholism and cigarettes back in the year 2000. I never thought I would be able to forgive him but I did. That doesn’t mean the hurting stops. It becomes not as intense and not as often to have to deal with the anger. What I sometimes feel today is anger, not the rage of my early recovery period. The hurt doesn’t keep me a prisoner of depression any longer. Thanks Darlene for writing this article.

]]> By: Nikki http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-beginning-emerging-from-broken/comment-page-1/#comment-345 Nikki Fri, 12 Mar 2010 01:42:02 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=591#comment-345 Good Evening my friend, everything you have said in this blog I can so relate to because I can not even begin to tell you how many churches, how many times I was prayed over .. and how many times I felt evil and vile no matter what i did and you hit the nail on the head about unmasking and facing all the lies and replacing them with the truth .. That is where I am at in my life now .. I am having to see the reality of what was to what is.. and it isn't easy but it is the most liberating freedom that anyone can have.. Sometimes in facing the truth it does hurt but it is not like the hurt we receive from lies or from the abuse that we may have suffered this kind of hurt is healing pain.. it is letting go and being released but the end result is always joyful and sweet peace.. There is nothing like the Truth .. I often go to God's word even though at times it is very hard for me to because often thru out my life I have gone through spiritual abuse but I am facing the reality of that now and in doing so God's word is not something that I fear but that i embrace now for I find so much truth in it!! I just wanted to thank you for sharing this blog .. because what you share is the key to beginning the healing process.. and that is facing the lies head on with the truth! Good Evening my friend,

everything you have said in this blog I can so relate to because I can not even begin to tell you how many churches, how many times I was prayed over .. and how many times I felt evil and vile no matter what i did and you hit the nail on the head about unmasking and facing all the lies and replacing them with the truth ..

That is where I am at in my life now .. I am having to see the reality of what was to what is.. and it isn’t easy but it is the most liberating freedom that anyone can have.. Sometimes in facing the truth it does hurt but it is not like the hurt we receive from lies or from the abuse that we may have suffered this kind of hurt is healing pain.. it is letting go and being released but the end result is always joyful and sweet peace..

There is nothing like the Truth .. I often go to God’s word even though at times it is very hard for me to because often thru out my life I have gone through spiritual abuse but I am facing the reality of that now and in doing so God’s word is not something that I fear but that i embrace now for I find so much truth in it!!

I just wanted to thank you for sharing this blog .. because what you share is the key to beginning the healing process.. and that is facing the lies head on with the truth!

]]> By: Darlene Ouimet http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-beginning-emerging-from-broken/comment-page-1/#comment-343 Darlene Ouimet Thu, 11 Mar 2010 19:49:59 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=591#comment-343 Jeanette, You make some very good and important points with this comment. You are right ~ not everyone who seems to be saved free or healed, IS. I constantly tell people not to judge someone else's outside by your inside. In some of my most devastating and broken years, everyone thought I was so together. No so. One time I had a little break down in Church as a result of something that a bible teacher said about people still to this day deserve to be stoned at the city gates for certain sins.. (of which I was guilty I thought) and man did that attract attention; no one knew how to comfort me because the truth had not really been taught to them either, but for me it was a turning point. I decided to take my life back. I also love your comment about self help books and positive thinking. EXACTLY! and you know what, I read that stuff now and it makes sense and even works for me, where it never did before when the lies and abuse was in my way clouding my vision. Thanks so much for your insightful comments! Darlene Jeanette,

You make some very good and important points with this comment. You are right ~ not everyone who seems to be saved free or healed, IS. I constantly tell people not to judge someone else’s outside by your inside. In some of my most devastating and broken years, everyone thought I was so together. No so. One time I had a little break down in Church as a result of something that a bible teacher said about people still to this day deserve to be stoned at the city gates for certain sins.. (of which I was guilty I thought) and man did that attract attention; no one knew how to comfort me because the truth had not really been taught to them either, but for me it was a turning point. I decided to take my life back.
I also love your comment about self help books and positive thinking. EXACTLY! and you know what, I read that stuff now and it makes sense and even works for me, where it never did before when the lies and abuse was in my way clouding my vision.

Thanks so much for your insightful comments!
Darlene

]]> By: Darlene Ouimet http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-beginning-emerging-from-broken/comment-page-1/#comment-342 Darlene Ouimet Thu, 11 Mar 2010 19:48:11 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=591#comment-342 Dan, Thanks for the comments and the encouragement you leave here. I might be on the right track now, but I have to admit, the encouragement that I get in the comments and emails really keep me going forward. I think it is all the invalidation that I had for so long, and when I can touch the hearts of others, when others say "YES that was Me Too," there is so much healing and affirmation in that. Thanks so much for sharing your personal experience too. There is so much power in this type of coming together. Hugs, Darlene Dan,
Thanks for the comments and the encouragement you leave here. I might be on the right track now, but I have to admit, the encouragement that I get in the comments and emails really keep me going forward. I think it is all the invalidation that I had for so long, and when I can touch the hearts of others, when others say “YES that was Me Too,” there is so much healing and affirmation in that. Thanks so much for sharing your personal experience too. There is so much power in this type of coming together.
Hugs, Darlene

]]> By: Darlene Ouimet http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-beginning-emerging-from-broken/comment-page-1/#comment-341 Darlene Ouimet Thu, 11 Mar 2010 19:46:09 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=591#comment-341 Hi mcProdigal, It is always interesting to me when so many people feel guilty and carry this burden of not being forgivable for things that were actually done to them. When abuse of any kind is present, it often sets us up to make mistakes, however, when I really healed at the roots of where things had gone so wrong for me, the whole forgiveness thing fell into place. It's hard to explain, but I will attempt it in future posts! Thanks so much for visiting and leaving your valuable and relevant comment. This issue of feeling worthy of forgiveness is such a huge one in our broken world. Darlene Hi mcProdigal,
It is always interesting to me when so many people feel guilty and carry this burden of not being forgivable for things that were actually done to them. When abuse of any kind is present, it often sets us up to make mistakes, however, when I really healed at the roots of where things had gone so wrong for me, the whole forgiveness thing fell into place. It’s hard to explain, but I will attempt it in future posts!
Thanks so much for visiting and leaving your valuable and relevant comment. This issue of feeling worthy of forgiveness is such a huge one in our broken world.
Darlene

]]> By: mcProdigal http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-beginning-emerging-from-broken/comment-page-1/#comment-340 mcProdigal Thu, 11 Mar 2010 19:18:48 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=591#comment-340 Thank you so much ... I was leading a small group at church in a discussion about why Jesus had to die for us and the number one question (more than half of the group) wasn't why did Jesus die, but how do I FEEL forgiven when I've done so much. A psychological footprint can be left from abuse and/or violence that may or may not be removed by a spiritual awakening. Thank you so much … I was leading a small group at church in a discussion about why Jesus had to die for us and the number one question (more than half of the group) wasn’t why did Jesus die, but how do I FEEL forgiven when I’ve done so much.

A psychological footprint can be left from abuse and/or violence that may or may not be removed by a spiritual awakening.

]]> By: Carla http://emergingfrombroken.com/the-beginning-emerging-from-broken/comment-page-1/#comment-338 Carla Thu, 11 Mar 2010 07:01:22 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=591#comment-338 I really enjoyed your post Darlene~ When you talked about that therapist telling you that your abusive past was just part of who you would be, it reminded me of how easily I can mix up my identity with how I have reacted to abuse in my past. It is easy to think through my reactions to being mistreated and label myself as over-reactive or too sensitive and stop the story there. But truth is, that is NOT who I am. Who I am goes much much deeper than that and this truth is a huge door to joy for me. I agree- this is going to be a fantastic series of posts! I really enjoyed your post Darlene~ When you talked about that therapist telling you that your abusive past was just part of who you would be, it reminded me of how easily I can mix up my identity with how I have reacted to abuse in my past. It is easy to think through my reactions to being mistreated and label myself as over-reactive or too sensitive and stop the story there. But truth is, that is NOT who I am. Who I am goes much much deeper than that and this truth is a huge door to joy for me. I agree- this is going to be a fantastic series of posts!

]]>