Archive for mental health issues
The Decision to Wake up and Live
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After a few hours of Christmas shopping the other night, my husband and I went out for dinner. There was a young Japanese couple at the next table and I was drawn to watching their small child who kept looking over at me while he was waiting for his meal.
I noticed that the whole family spoke Japanese to each other, and I could tell that they had not been in Canada long because of how much trouble they had with the English language when speaking to the waitress.
When their food came, I also noticed how much trouble the parents had with the knives and forks. They were obviously uncomfortable with them and both adults used them in different ways than I had ever seen before. I realized that they were not accustomed to using these instruments for eating and how self conscious they were, even with each other about this fact.
Watching them reminded me of how scared I was to learn a new way of living. When I realized that all my coping methods were just that, only coping methods, and that if I was ever to be fully alive, I would have to get to the bottom of my mental health issues, I was frozen with fear; I was just as afraid to let go my coping methods to learn how to live a new way as I was of staying in the depths of depression and dissociation forever. I was afraid of how I would have to relate to others if I was to embrace wholeness. I was afraid of the unknown. I was afraid to stick up for myself, I was used to things the way they were, even if they were not comfortable for me. I was afraid that I would be even more deeply unhappy then I already was if I tried to learn how to live without dissociating. I was afraid to give up the long bouts of sleeping that characterized my depression. I was afraid I might have to stand up to the people in my life that disregarded me. I was afraid to own my value. My life was comfortable in a bizarre way; depression and dissociated identity disorder worked for me.
But just as this young couple was embracing new ways, I decided to learn new ways too. The process was long and difficult and worth every painful moment. Living in wholeness and fullness is something that I never imagined would be so fantastic. How could I imagine something that I had never experienced? How could I have ever known what I was missing?
These are the questions at the root of my passion to spread the hope of healing and wholeness to others. If you like my post, and would like to help me spread the hope, please click on the share button below and share it on your favourite sites. If you would like to post comments or ask me a question, I welcome you to click on the post title which will open a new page and reveal the comment box.
~Darlene Ouimet
Learning to Live Life Fully
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I am amazed at the brokenness that surrounds me each day in the lives of others. Surrounded by pain, so many people live day to day without knowing what it is to fully live, to flourish and thrive. Some have recovered from mental health issues, addictions, and serious illness such as chronic depression or bi-polar disorder, but have this nagging question; now what?
When a person has been shut down or broken for a large part of their life, how does one learn to live again? How do you go from dealing with depression and struggling to cope with whatever life throws your way, to living full time? It might sound easy, but in my experience it isn’t. It is difficult because it is not familiar. Coping is what is familiar so there is a new learning curve to deal with now.
When I started to get on with my life, I felt like I was re-learning how to live, almost like growing up at warp speed. It was crazy but exciting because I had some support and because I was aware of how much I had missed prior to living in wholeness. I was developing new familiarity. I learned to listen to the little voices that whispered to me that I should not move forward, that it was too scary, too risky and I learned to reassure myself. I learned new ways to avoid sliding into depression. In some ways I became my own parent, going back and parenting myself in the areas that were missed when I was growing up.
Recovering from depression, multiple personality and dissociative identity disorder has been the most exciting and worthwhile thing I have ever attempted. Learning to embrace life fully and live in wholeness and freedom is something I never imagined I would ever achieve. Sharing my journey and hope with others is my passion. Today I am thriving.
Darlene
