Comments on: Psychological and Emotional Abuse ~ How Self Doubt Grows http://emergingfrombroken.com/psychological-and-emotional-abuse-how-self-doubt-grows/ from surviving to thriving on the journey to wholeness Wed, 08 Feb 2012 00:59:24 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Darlene Ouimet http://emergingfrombroken.com/psychological-and-emotional-abuse-how-self-doubt-grows/comment-page-1/#comment-36295 Darlene Ouimet Sun, 06 Nov 2011 16:14:07 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=518#comment-36295 Joy, the good news is that you ARE in the process. The process of sorting it out and realizing the truth. It takes time but it is doable! I am so glad that you are finding the courage! Hugs, Darlene Joy,
the good news is that you ARE in the process. The process of sorting it out and realizing the truth. It takes time but it is doable! I am so glad that you are finding the courage!
Hugs, Darlene

]]> By: joy http://emergingfrombroken.com/psychological-and-emotional-abuse-how-self-doubt-grows/comment-page-1/#comment-35197 joy Tue, 01 Nov 2011 22:02:04 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=518#comment-35197 Darlene Reading this makes me cry .. because I have become so use to taking blames and being the cause.. in my own mind that as soon as something doesn't work out . i am punishing myself endlessly searching for what I did wrong again.. Everything was always my fault and now that I am not in their lives they say they have no troubles. as i was the source of trouble.. when the big disappointment happened . not too long ago with the former .. T . already I was blaming me. .it had to be my fault everything is. that is how I am always thinking. nothing Good that happens .. though is me. nope ..coudnt be. .since I was told nothing good will ever come from me.. so I am constantly in turmoil upset when good things happen. and upset when bad things happen. but i know things will iron out. you give me courage. as you had a lot of the stuff in your life that i am going through and you made it to be really quite wonderful hugs Joy Darlene

Reading this makes me cry .. because I have become so use to taking blames and being the cause.. in my own mind that as soon as something doesn’t work out . i am punishing myself endlessly searching for what I did wrong again.. Everything was always my fault and now that I am not in their lives they say they have no troubles. as i was the source of trouble.. when the big disappointment happened . not too long ago with the former .. T . already I was blaming me. .it had to be my fault everything is. that is how I am always thinking. nothing Good that happens .. though is me. nope ..coudnt be. .since I was told nothing good will ever come from me.. so I am constantly in turmoil upset when good things happen. and upset when bad things happen. but i know things will iron out. you give me courage. as you had a lot of the stuff in your life that i am going through and you made it to be really quite wonderful

hugs

Joy

]]> By: Darlene Ouimet http://emergingfrombroken.com/psychological-and-emotional-abuse-how-self-doubt-grows/comment-page-1/#comment-20059 Darlene Ouimet Thu, 07 Jul 2011 14:38:44 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=518#comment-20059 Hi Wendy Welcome to EFB. I know exactly what you mean about attracting abusers. I am sure that has to do with how our belief system if formed; we are taught to accept that it has something to do with us and the cycle continues. I agree with you also about being who God intended me to be through this recovery. Isn't that fantastic! Glad you are here. Thanks for sharing! Hugs, Darlene Hi Wendy
Welcome to EFB.
I know exactly what you mean about attracting abusers. I am sure that has to do with how our belief system if formed; we are taught to accept that it has something to do with us and the cycle continues. I agree with you also about being who God intended me to be through this recovery. Isn’t that fantastic!
Glad you are here.
Thanks for sharing! Hugs, Darlene

]]> By: Wendy Mixell http://emergingfrombroken.com/psychological-and-emotional-abuse-how-self-doubt-grows/comment-page-1/#comment-20046 Wendy Mixell Thu, 07 Jul 2011 12:56:00 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=518#comment-20046 Wow, it is like you are telling my story. I once had a gym teacher who was abusive but when she actually tried to hit me, my best friend grabbed her arm and then it was exposed how she abused not only me but others. I have found as I walk through the healing process that I was a victim so often because I seemed to draw the abusers to me.It was a spiritual(not good) attachment that was like a label tattooed on me only this tattoo has been removed. Being 55 and working aggressively for my healing the last 16 years, I can say I am now a new creation and what or who God intended me to be. Thanks so much and your article about being a nonperson was such an eye opener and have shared with others who have suffered this too. Thank You!!!! Wow, it is like you are telling my story. I once had a gym teacher who was abusive but when she actually tried to hit me, my best friend grabbed her arm and then it was exposed how she abused not only me but others. I have found as I walk through the healing process that I was a victim so often because I seemed to draw the abusers to me.It was a spiritual(not good) attachment that was like a label tattooed on me only this tattoo has been removed. Being 55 and working aggressively for my healing the last 16 years, I can say I am now a new creation and what or who God intended me to be. Thanks so much and your article about being a nonperson was such an eye opener and have shared with others who have suffered this too. Thank You!!!!

]]> By: Darlene Ouimet http://emergingfrombroken.com/psychological-and-emotional-abuse-how-self-doubt-grows/comment-page-1/#comment-16475 Darlene Ouimet Fri, 27 May 2011 15:20:41 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=518#comment-16475 Hi Pam, YES. I too was always taught that I should be someone esle, act some way else. Not be me. I heard that rhyme too... why would anyone tell a child that rhyme?? When I realized the stuff that you are sharing, everything started to change inside of me... like a glacier melting... and I felt my real self emerging. It is wonderful. So glad that you are here! Hugs, Darlene Hi Pam,
YES. I too was always taught that I should be someone esle, act some way else. Not be me. I heard that rhyme too… why would anyone tell a child that rhyme??
When I realized the stuff that you are sharing, everything started to change inside of me… like a glacier melting… and I felt my real self emerging. It is wonderful.
So glad that you are here!
Hugs, Darlene

]]> By: Pam http://emergingfrombroken.com/psychological-and-emotional-abuse-how-self-doubt-grows/comment-page-1/#comment-15972 Pam Fri, 20 May 2011 18:00:52 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=518#comment-15972 Darlene, I think my great self doubt stems from the fact that I was always taught that I should be someone else, my dad or my sister. Even if I did wrong, I was told I was like my mom. My identity developed in comparison to others and not who I am. Only in the last five years have I begun to think it is okay just to be me. This may be a silly thing but when I read this post, a rhyme that my mother repeated to me often popped into my head: "There was a little girl who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forhead. When she was good, she was very, very good but when she was bad she was HORRID! Like you, I was a pretty compliant kid but I learned that somehow, I was horrid. This is just one way in which my mother communicated to me that I was 'bad'. I couldn't trust myself because myself was not even good enough to be. How could I trust myself when I was so bad as to be HORRID? This went on through adult-hood. The latest downgrade my mother used on me was, "Well, Pam, in a way..., you're the sweetest person I know." Just like the rhyme, she never says anything positive about me withouth the punch to keep me in my place. Darlene,

I think my great self doubt stems from the fact that I was always taught that I should be someone else, my dad or my sister. Even if I did wrong, I was told I was like my mom. My identity developed in comparison to others and not who I am. Only in the last five years have I begun to think it is okay just to be me.

This may be a silly thing but when I read this post, a rhyme that my mother repeated to me often popped into my head: “There was a little girl who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forhead. When she was good, she was very, very good but when she was bad she was HORRID! Like you, I was a pretty compliant kid but I learned that somehow, I was horrid. This is just one way in which my mother communicated to me that I was ‘bad’.

I couldn’t trust myself because myself was not even good enough to be. How could I trust myself when I was so bad as to be HORRID?

This went on through adult-hood. The latest downgrade my mother used on me was, “Well, Pam, in a way…, you’re the sweetest person I know.” Just like the rhyme, she never says anything positive about me withouth the punch to keep me in my place.

]]> By: Invalidation ~ when the truth is not true :: Emerging From Broken http://emergingfrombroken.com/psychological-and-emotional-abuse-how-self-doubt-grows/comment-page-1/#comment-13728 Invalidation ~ when the truth is not true :: Emerging From Broken Fri, 15 Apr 2011 15:21:07 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=518#comment-13728 [...] audio about the Dr. discovering that I was being psychologically abused  ~ you can find it here: Psychological Abuse ~ how self doubt grows Categories : [...] [...] audio about the Dr. discovering that I was being psychologically abused  ~ you can find it here: Psychological Abuse ~ how self doubt grows Categories : [...]

]]> By: The Little Boy who cried Wolf ~ Belief System Development :: Emerging From Broken http://emergingfrombroken.com/psychological-and-emotional-abuse-how-self-doubt-grows/comment-page-1/#comment-13724 The Little Boy who cried Wolf ~ Belief System Development :: Emerging From Broken Fri, 15 Apr 2011 15:13:28 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=518#comment-13724 [...] ~We have the story of me telling my parents that I was being emotionally abused by a teacher and they didn’t believe me. [...] [...] ~We have the story of me telling my parents that I was being emotionally abused by a teacher and they didn’t believe me. [...]

]]> By: Darlene Ouimet http://emergingfrombroken.com/psychological-and-emotional-abuse-how-self-doubt-grows/comment-page-1/#comment-3699 Darlene Ouimet Fri, 20 Aug 2010 17:38:11 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=518#comment-3699 Glad to do it Vivian! My father in law thought he owned me.. like he owned everyone else. He hated it when I started to fight back and try to have my own thoughts. My whole family (husband and kids) got set free from that cycle because I stood up and said "enough" and "no more". I am SO much happier now! Glad to do it Vivian!
My father in law thought he owned me.. like he owned everyone else. He hated it when I started to fight back and try to have my own thoughts. My whole family (husband and kids) got set free from that cycle because I stood up and said “enough” and “no more”.
I am SO much happier now!

]]> By: Vivian Palmer Harvey http://emergingfrombroken.com/psychological-and-emotional-abuse-how-self-doubt-grows/comment-page-1/#comment-3698 Vivian Palmer Harvey Fri, 20 Aug 2010 17:27:55 +0000 http://emergingfrombroken.com/?p=518#comment-3698 My son in law and his family are very sure they are right about everything..I'm not riding that pony any longer! My son in law and his family are very sure they are right about everything..I’m not riding that pony any longer!

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