Dec
06

Freedom from Bondage ~ My Belief System

By

the winds of freedom

I have always been a student of life. I have always been drawn to such things as self growth, personal development, self help books and even the law of attraction type stuff.  I have done intense book studies.  Because of the trust issues I developed as a child, I didn’t take things at face value; I always tried to search for the proof. I studied word origins (Greek and Hebrew) in bible studies for years. I attended seminars on many different subjects, and I would say that I have been a truth seeker all my life. I looked for the answer to simple happiness, since I was about 19 years old.  It eluded me ~ I was even harder on myself telling myself that my expectations were just too high.

I wondered why some people seemed to just “get it”. Some seemed to have what I wanted; they were happy in their own skin and they appeared to be content with their lives. My self esteem didn’t improve to any great degree no matter what changes I implemented, no matter what techniques I applied.

I’ve been involved in 12 step programs for 26 years. I faithfully applied the 12 steps and they made a big difference to me, but there was always something missing. I cleared the wreckage of my past to the very best of my ability, but I still was not truly free from the past. 

In this blog I want to talk about some of the keys I have found and one of the biggest keys for me has been the discovery of my belief system which was false. My truth was false and it had been planted in my so young, that no amount of therapy or self help could change it until I had help to expose the lies and replace them with the truth.  Remember that I am talking about MY truth, my personal belief system about me, about my worthiness, about the events of my life. I was willing to be accountable for the things I had done wrong AND I was willing to be accountable for the things that had been done to me. I had to accept and understand that I had been a victim before I could stop living in victim mentality. There was mending that had to be done in areas that I knew nothing about.

When I began the process of changing beliefs that I had believed were truth statements about me, I was able to apply all the materials that I had so diligently studied my entire life. Each of them is valuable. Everything makes sense to me now. I realize why even simple faith had not worked for me, and why I always fell short of achieving true freedom.

I am whole now, I am not broken and I have a passion to share this message with others who may find themselves frustrated on the journey to wholeness.  

Darlene

Categories : Self Esteem

2 Comments

1
Jackie - aka UnEk_DiMoN
August 20th, 2010 at 11:23 am

My wish is one day I too, will be whole

2

That is my hope for you and everyone else too Jackie. Because I know it is possible for me ~ I am living proof today ~ I know it is possible for others.
Hugs, Darlene

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