“Though our childhood abuse left us feeling someone ought to make reparation to us, if we wait a lifetime for that, we may never receive what we need. We choose instead to face the idea that from now on, we are going to take responsibility for caring for ourselves.”
Beyond Survival by Maureen Brady
“My mind was very good at helping me to survive and since all my young life I had been brainwashed to survive by shutting down fear, pain, rejection etc. my mind didn’t really want me to face the pain. Even when I started to face the pain in the first year of my emotional healing process, my mind would scream at me to “stop, turn back, this isn’t safe!” I learned my survival methods from a very young age. Survival methods are the systems that we learn that enable us to cope, to avoid the pain, and they work for us as children. They saved my life. My mind convinced me to stay in “survival mode” because it seemed safer in survival mode, then it would be to come out of survivor mode and face the pain. Facing the pain however, saved ME so that I could move forward and LIVE a “REAL LIFE”.
Darlene Ouimet ~Author~ Emerging from Broken the Beginning of Hope for Emotional Healing
“I could not own my message because I still believed that I was not really as valuable as I thought I might be. My old belief system was still operating in that department. I was sure that others would think me vain if I were to write with such conviction. I was sure that they would sneer at me and say “who does she think she is, with that crazy message? It’s ridiculous.” Although on a conscious level I knew that my message of wholeness and freedom was valid, important and exactly what people wanted to hear, on a subconscious level, where my belief system operated, I thought it wasn’t valid. Below the surface of my mind there was a war going on!
I kept pursuing wholeness and freedom from the false truths in my belief system and I kept working on replacing the lies in my mind with the truth. When I started speaking in mental health seminars, and realized the impact that I was having on the people in those seminars, it helped me to accept that there were a lot of people who really liked my message and welcomed hearing it. Eventually I was able to unveil the war going on inside of me, and start to set it straight.” Darlene Ouimet from the EFB e-book “Emerging From Broken The Beginning of Hope for Emotional Healing”
"..When I talk about the fog, I am talking about the state of confusion that has been created by the adults in my life which began when I was a child. I was taught false definitions of love, false definitions of being cared for and being kept safe. I was taught that I was not as important as others. I was taught that I was wrong about my feelings. I was discredited in so many ways so that if I ever did figure out that I was not actually wrong, the emotionally abusive adults in my life could remind everyone that I had always been a bit “off”. ..The fog hides the blatantly obvious truth..." Read the rest here:
"I wonder why no one ever asks parents estranged from their kids “how are you going to feel if your son or daughter dies?” Judging by the way my parents act, they won’t feel anything."
Darlene Ouimet on the EFB blog
I can ask; “tell me what is loving about that action?” And this type of question is very effective; “if I was working with a guy who harassed me, embarrassed me, set me up for the fall, etc. would you expect me to hang out with him outside of work?” Everyone always says “NO, of course not”. So I ask, “why is family exempt?” Darlene Ouimet from the EFB e-book "Emerging from Broken the Beginning of Hope for Emotional Healing"