Apr
23

A Post of Gratitude

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Light and truth are much the same. When we turn on a light in our homes, we can see the way things are. We can see the furniture, the evidence of what has happened while we were away, the pieces of beauty we have arranged, the faces of the people we love and what they are telling us. Truth is the same. When it speaks we can see the way things are more plainly.  We can see things we didn’t know were there before, we can see things that are missing, we can see things that we have always felt or always wanted but didn’t believe were real or worthy… In speaking the truth and hearing the truth, our outsides start to flow with our insides. A buzz starts to happen. Freedom starts to happen.

Empowerment encourages us in the telling of our truth, our stories. It sees the light we are sharing and says, “Keep that coming! There is value in your light!” It knows that because our value is not in question, what is shared is not threatening. It says, I want you to share your light because the light is what heals. As I shared my posts about how my Dad’s belief system impacted me, I was pretty floored by your comments, how you connected with my truth, shared your own stories, and also how you empowered me through your encouragement. Thank you again to each one of you~ you have contributed so much.

Patricia Singleton has a deep understanding of the opposite of a healthy, empowering family system and offered some amazing insight on the nature of dysfunctional family systems in her comments . She writes on her own blog, The Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker and shares courageously about her story of recovery and how she thrives in her life today. I encourage you to visit her most recent post entitled “Dysfunctional Family Systems” where she shares some great resources and offers in-depth descriptions of what it feels like to be a part of a family system that survives in the opposite direction of empowerment, the kind of system that shuts people down instead of validating their light. Patricia is a true lightworker, bringing her truth to the world and empowering others to do the same. Thank you Patricia for sharing your truth and encouragement!

Truth telling can cause two things to happen: either people are drawn to it, decide to embrace it and work towards understanding and healing or we are entrapped by fear, want to run away and keep the truth hidden; even though the truth is the greatest path to freedom, it can be very scary at first. I am so grateful that my family is chosing to embrace the truth. I am so proud of my Mom, my Dad and my brother. New realizations and conversations are happening and I believe our family is headed towards a new layer of depth in our relationships with each other. I love you each very much. I am grateful for the light and its healing work. I truly believe that we find what we are seeking for and that we have the ability to become all that we were meant to be. And I am truly grateful to be on this path with each one of you!

~Carla~

Categories : Freedom & Wholeness

11 Comments

1

Carla, thank you. You are truly blessed to have your family following you or walking beside you in recovery. Mine never did. My sister is beginning to look at some of her issues and I am so proud of her for having the courage to do that. Both of my parents died never admitting that we were a dysfunctional family. It is a blessing to have your family supporting your journey. I have two aunts that support me and that is so important to me. Have a glorious day.

2

Sometimes it is hard to leave the curtain of denial on the side of the road. It takes a courage to face the truth and then to be vulnerable to the world, I think. Facing the truth of my own past and how I passed on my own generational belief systems to my children was very hard, difficult and painful work. Yet today, by being willing to embrace my truth, over time my own children have seen me model this “new” me and our relationship has begun to heal. The rest of my family…I have learned to “love from a distance” and have compassion for their issues while still trying to protect myself while I continue to build this new life.

Thanks Carla for such insightful posts…thank you Patricia for sharing your journey with the rest of us!

3

I see your connection between truth and validation. At first I didn’t really understand how I hadn’t been validated as a child when the therapists talked about it. Then a few years ago I shared the secret my family had kept about my sexual about for the past 20+ years. And I finally understood that I was still struggling so much because it’s not healthy to keep such things as dark secrets. Maybe not everyone needs to know about it, but never speaking of it for 20+ years when I was going through so much emotional termoil really was an huge example of invalidation. I just was finally unable to live in the dark anymore. Sad thing is that my Dad still feels that things such as sexual are things that we just don’t talk about. He thinks it’s best that way and still feels I’ve done wrong in disclosing the abuse. I can’t figure out how he functions in so much darkness.

4

Susan, you are very welcome.

Stacy, my dad died never admitting that he had done anything wrong. I know he carried a heavy burden of guilt.

5

Patricia~ I really agree, I am very blessed. I know many others do not have their families on board and have lost relationships as they’ve pursued their own wholeness.

Susan, I love how you say that you have compassion for the rest of your family but are also deciding to protect yourself as you build your new life. I learned too that I can still love and have compassion for others while still choosing to love myself first and that it isn’t selfish for me to have boundaries with them. Boundaries can sometimes prompt others to seek for the truth themselves. Thanks for sharing this Susan.

Stacy, wow… I’m happy for you, that you found your way out of the darkness by bringing what happened to you into the light. You’re right, it doesn’t have to be broadcast to the world, but when we know that what happened to us wasn’t okay and wasn’t our fault, we can heal. Thank you for sharing here Stacy.

Hugs to you,
Carla

6

Hi Stacy,
Personally, I have come to realize that most of these people DON’T function in so much darkness. They just appear to. They are only semi alive, as I used to be only semi alive. Facing these things and deciding to move forward, gives us the chance of full life! It is unfortunate but some people really would rather stay in the dark, mostly because they have such a huge fear of the pain involved in moving forward.
Hugs, Darlene

7

A post about truth and light definitely catches my attention. A couple of my favorite things! I’m grateful to have found this group of enlightened women (and men). Your posts are enhancing my life. Peace & Love, Kim

8

I am very much drawn to the light and the need to tell the truth. My father is not. He wants me to say everything is OK and just go on pretending. I cannot pretend any more. I wish to help bring light to others, even if it means cutting off my relationship with my father. It is not easy. But living a life in the dark is worse.

9

Thank you Kim~ I am glad that you are here too, sharing your truth and light with us. Colleen, I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad. And I’m happy that you have found your freedom and are bringing light to others. I agree- trying to ignore my struggles and keep them “in the dark” really just made them worse. Just like Darlene said in her comment, I was only semi-alive until I went through the pain of getting out of the dark.
~Carla

10

I have really enjoyed the ups and downs of these last few blogs! It is interesting to see what these topics bring up in different people… Some see truth, some feel attack, some see light and some see dark. My hope would be that people would see the freedom in truth, just as Carla is saying here, and start to face the truth in their own life. Whatever that truth may be…. For me and my family, even though it has been met with some resistance, it has brought a huge amount of healing and a sense of “new life” for us as a team. And a team we are becoming! High fives all around…..

Carla, likely being the one who has experienced our family system as deeply and intimately as you have, I am so proud of the person you have chosen to become today. Our family system, enormously loving as it was, had a component of being withdrawn, insecure and wounded behind closed doors. You have faced these wounds even though it has been hard, deeply challenging and in the face of some people who might feel attached to it. The glowing difference between the person you once were and the person you are becoming is obvious…. Exposing that truth has been a homerun for all of us, as you said in this post, and I have a deep sense of optimism about the Dippel Future for the first time in my life!

Another huge high five goes to Mom and Dad for intentionally facing their own truth and starting to learn and grow in it. Their actions in finding counsel and spending the time and energy that a lot of people don’t want to spend on reading, thinking and talking about their belief system has big rewards. It has helped me in my journey more than I can even express. Dad, it has been so hard for you to face your past and be honest about how it has effected your family and yourself. Having watched you be held down emotionally for so long, it is amazing to see an extra twinkle in your eye and a lighter weight on your shoulders. Not to mention the hope and joy it gives mom in your relationship with her! It’s never to late to learn…..

As for me, I hope I can be responsible with my story and my own truth to contribute in a healthy way to our family’s new belief system. I have played my part in our family story and hope that old ways can become new patterns. I am also excited for what this is teaching about my relationship with Jennelle and how it will help us build a belief system centered around truth and honesty. It is already bringing us closer and I feel excited for our future more and more.

Thanks to everyone who has contributed here.

Adam

11

Adam, my brother of who I am very proud 🙂 ~ I am excited that you are here, sharing your observations, feelings, and most of all, your new excitement!! It strikes me as such a beautiful testimony of how working through the pain and the healing process really does bring LIFE back to people and to families. I love how you describe what you see happening, “glowing difference… homerun… deep sense of optimism… huge high five… extra twinkle in your eye and a lighter weight on your shoulders… hope and joy… excited for our future…” Seeing the new growth happening is SO exciting for me too, and I am excited as you are about the future. Big hugs and lots of love to you Adam, and thanks so much for writing here. ~ Carla

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